For once I almost understand what ex-Prince Harry is on about with his request for the UK to provide staff, mostly bodyguards. On the two occasions I have visited the UK I have quite enjoyed my time there although I have had to do most of the work myself. I would like a group of flunkies on my next visit please, a few bodyguards so I look important, a driver and car, some tour guides, a good chef, and a fitness trainer to counterbalance the chef’s efforts and maybe a butler and of course all of this will be paid for from the generous UK purse. Maybe I could also have short term use of Frogmore Cottage as it looks quite nice in the papers.

There are a few places in the world I would not be willing to travel because of wars and violence and at the moment nearly all of the world because of COVID. Maybe I should add a doctor and a few nurses to my list as well.

I’m not a royal unless you consider the defunct Fitzgerald Irish aristocracies but nor is Harry now. I would also like diplomatic immunity for when I return to Australia so there are no inconveniences although I am sensibly triple vaccinated already.

Remember Harry, you chose to give up the royal life, so be honest and live the common life now.

Dennis Fitzgerald,
Melbourne, Australia