Resilience, Responsibility, Love: Story of Ngozi Ekeoma

In the often unforgiving corridors of the oil and gas industry, where alpha-male CEOs dominate, Ngozi Ekeoma shatters the glass ceiling with grace, intellect, and audacity. A beacon of vision and tenacity, she proves that leadership is not the sole preserve of brute force but thrives on innovation and perseverance. From an early age, her parents instilled in her the values of hard work and integrity, grounding her in the belief that success is earned, not given. With a successful enterprise under her belt, Ngozi is a testament to the power of grit, ambition, and an unyielding commitment to rewriting the rules. The Group Managing Director/ Chief Executive Officer, Nepal Energies shares insights on her life of resilience, responsibility and love. Adedayo Adejobi brings the excerpts:

When it comes to glass ceilings, few are more formidable than those within the oil and gas industry, where power has long been concentrated in the hands of alpha-male CEOs with an insatiable appetite for risk. For decades, the hallowed corner office has been an exclusive domain, where decisions impacting the future of nations and economies are forged by those who embody the stereotypical traits of the industry—stoic, bold, and often resolutely masculine. Yet, the wind of change has blown with an undeniable force.

In the midst of this transformation stands Ngozi Ekeoma, a woman whose presence challenges the status quo and reshapes the narrative of what leadership can look like. As one of the few female chief executives in an industry historically dominated by men, she occupies her corner office not as a mere token of diversity, but as a testament to her vision, tenacity, and exceptional acumen. Ngozi has not only broken barriers; she has rewritten the playbook. Her leadership is an embodiment of grace and intellect, dispelling the misconception that the only way to thrive in the industry is through brute force and bravado. She stands as an inspiration to generations of women, showing that the path to the top is not restricted by gender, but instead illuminated by perseverance and innovation.

In the quiet rhythms of daily life, in the ebb and flow of ordinary moments, it is often the unspoken lessons learned from family, heritage, and culture that shape the contours of a person’s destiny. For Ngozi Ekeoma, these lessons, passed down from her parents and deeply rooted in the values of her Igbo heritage, have propelled her to extraordinary heights, both in business and in life. With her husband standing behind her as a strong pillar of support and strength, she comes out strong as a woman of fierce independence and unyielding strength, and a testament to the power of hard work, integrity, and the unwavering belief that a woman’s place is not confined to what is expected of her, but rather, to what she dares to achieve.

Born into a family where effort and integrity were the foundations of every endeavour, Ngozi’s early life was steeped in the teachings of her enterprising parents, who demonstrated through their daily lives the value of diligence, honesty, and perseverance. Her father, a man whose words were as weighty as his actions, imparted one lesson that remains etched in her memory: “Anyone who sleeps beyond a particular time in the morning is inviting poverty.” This belief, cultivated in her during childhood, has been the bedrock upon which she built her own journey. To Ngozi, success was never something that arrived by chance or through idle hope. It was always, and still is, the product of relentless effort, a commitment to excellence, and the conscious decision to rise, day after day, to meet the challenges of life head-on.

From the beginning, it was clear that the course of her life would not be dictated by mere circumstance. “I grew up with his saying that anyone who sleeps beyond a certain time in the morning is inviting poverty. Hearing that at a young age meant that for me, it meant that I had to work hard, put in the work, and not fantasize about the good life,” she recalls. Even as a child, she understood the power of ambition and how the pursuit of one’s dreams must be anchored in tangible action.

The responsibility she carried as the first daughter in her family was not one she bore lightly. In Igbo culture, this position carries with it the weight of expectation, and for Ngozi, it was both a duty and a calling. From an early age, she understood that others in her family were looking to her—not just for guidance, but as an example to follow. The decision to shoulder this responsibility was one she made with great care and commitment.

“I took a decision that I was going to make sure that no sibling depended on me,” she says with the kind of resolute confidence that marks the essence of her character. Through her actions, she made good on her promise, ensuring that her siblings did not merely rely on her for sustenance, but rather learned to build lives of their own, independent and thriving.

Her early years were marked by both hard lessons and profound moments of clarity. Reflecting on her relationship with her mother, she speaks candidly about the discipline and high standards her mother set for her. “I reminded her recently that she beat me more than any of her children,” she says with a smile. Her mother’s response, in hindsight, has become a key piece of the puzzle that helped shape the woman she would become. “I needed to turn out right, so the rest can emulate me,” her mother had told her. The words have remained with Ngozi, and with them, the understanding that the weight of her mother’s discipline was never punitive, but rather a training ground for the leadership role she would one day occupy.

The notion of destiny is one that often comes to mind when hearing the stories of extraordinary individuals—people whose lives seem to unfold in ways that appear preordained. Yet, when asked about destiny, Ngozi is quick to point out the delicate balance between fate and effort, and the importance of seizing one’s own future.

“I got married as a teenager,” she shares, her voice filled with the quiet wisdom of experience. “I had just finished my secondary school, and the results were not released. I came to Lagos and I wanted to go to school. I was married to a wealthy man, so I could have just relaxed.”

But relaxation, it seemed, was not in her nature. Despite the comfort her marriage might have afforded her, she chose a different path—one that would ensure she did not lose sight of her own potential.

“Some saw it as shameful,” she says, recalling how others believed she should relax and enjoy the privileges that came with her marriage. But Ngozi knew that in order to truly make something of herself, she had to arm herself with education. “I sat for JAMB and was admitted into the University of Lagos,” she explains. This decision marked the beginning of her journey toward becoming not just a wife or mother, but an empowered woman in her own right.

Today, with over 50 filling stations under her management, Ngozi stands as a living testament to the power of education, hard work, and determination. It is a success she attributes to both the opportunities she created for herself and the support she found within her marriage. “There is the place of destiny, and the place of education and hard work,” she muses, underscoring the critical role that both play in shaping one’s future.

In reflecting on her marriage, Ngozi speaks with deep reverence for the institution that has been at the heart of her life for the past 35 years. “Marriage, especially in the Nigerian and African context, is the coming together of two families enabled by two individuals,” she says.

It is, in her eyes, a partnership that demands integration, understanding, and a mutual respect that transcends personal expectations. “It requires integration, especially from the woman,” she adds, recognising that the role of a wife, particularly in the Nigerian cultural context, is one that carries with it many nuances.

Her marriage, she acknowledges, has not been without its challenges. Yet, with maturity and wisdom, she has come to understand the profound beauty of partnership.

“There will always be problems and responsibilities, but it depends on how you see whether it is a problem or an opportunity,” she reflects. This outlook has been instrumental in navigating the inevitable conflicts that arise in any relationship. The key, for Ngozi, is to focus on the strengths of one’s partner rather than their flaws. “The focus should always be on what my partner is good at, not what he is not good at,” she advises. This mindset has helped her sustain a marriage that has endured the trials of time and circumstance.

In her view, the authenticity of both partners is essential for a marriage to thrive. “Both need to be authentic,” she asserts, noting that cultural expectations often place the woman in the role of homemaker and nurturer.

But authenticity goes beyond merely fulfilling traditional roles; it requires both partners to remain true to themselves, even as they navigate the complexities of life together. “If you learn your partner and understand your partner, you’ll be able to know what the boundaries are,” she suggests. This wisdom, born from years of experience, reflects her deep understanding of the importance of empathy, communication, and respect in any partnership.

One of the most profound insights Ngozi offers is about respect—specifically, the respect that each partner must give to the other in order for a marriage to succeed. “Respect is exactly what I define it to be, not your definition,” she says with conviction.

This sentiment encapsulates her approach to both her marriage and her dealings with others in life. For Ngozi, respect is not something that is earned through conformity to expectations, but rather through an understanding of one another’s needs, values, and beliefs.

When asked about the role of culture in marriage, Ngozi offers a compelling perspective.

“Culture is your way of life. Food is culture. Culture cannot be a burden,” she declares, her words carrying the weight of a lifetime of experience. It is when one tries to reject their cultural heritage or impose foreign values on their marriage that problems arise.

“Culture should not be a burden because it is the essence of who we are,” she explains. This perspective has been instrumental in her ability to navigate the challenges of marriage, blending tradition with the realities of modern life.

As with any long-lasting relationship, marriage is not without its difficulties. But for Ngozi, the key to handling these challenges lies in a mindset of resolution and partnership. “Marriage is partnership,” she affirms. “Instead of talking about divorce as an option, resolution is the way to go.” She recognises that no relationship is without its hurdles, but believes that it is through mutual effort, compromise, and a shared commitment to growth that a marriage can endure.

Her advice to women facing difficult in-laws or marital strife is grounded in the principle of love and understanding. “Not all in-laws are difficult, and not all in-laws are pleasant,” she says with a knowing smile. The secret, she believes, is to approach even the most difficult situations with kindness and patience. “If you go into marriage with the mindset of ‘I will show them,’ you will have to be unhappy to give unhappiness.” This philosophy of love and patience, she believes, can transform even the most challenging of relationships.

In summation, Ekeoma’s life is a narrative woven with threads of resilience, responsibility, and love. She has overcome the odds, built a successful business empire, and created a family grounded in the values of hard work and mutual respect. Through it all, she has remained steadfast in her belief that success is not determined by the whims of fate, but by the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the authenticity with which we approach the world and those we love. In every aspect of her life, she exemplifies the power of perseverance, the beauty of partnership, and the enduring strength of a woman who chooses to define her own destiny.

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