Omicron Virus: No More Fear
Please let me even ask, who gives these viruses their names? Is it that there is a branding team at the World Health Organisation (WHO) that researchers on ground send the configurations to and those ones will come out with the names – Delta, Omicron and the like? They will soon come out with Afang and Jollof viruses the way this thing is going.
Mbok, the world is tired. The thing don too much as people say. Today lockdown, tomorrow mask, next tomorrow no sex, then vaccine, then booster dose, then vaccine again, then travel and no travel. Quarantine, then no quarantine.
The whole thing has reached a point where some of us are even saying, let the Omicron come o. When you run too much at one point you will say, ‘I am not running again, let the thing come.’
Me, I have taken vaccine two times. I have worn mask so tey, people no longer recognise me when I pull off the mask. I have kept social distance; I have done it all. I don tire. I no do again.
Whether na Omicron or Obotex. I no do. Please, you people should just leave us alone. It is too much. Kai!
ABU SULEIMAN: A STERLING BANKER
I had reached out to this my brother sometime last week asking for a session to discuss the finance environment especially with its changing face. Close to my chest was this CBN’s e-Naira, the dynamism of Fintech and other such issues that I felt would make me better understand the terrain.
That is how bro say I should meet him at the Federal Palace Hotel after work one evening. I should have known. Na lecture o. By the time bros finish, I could write a dissertation on the environment and present at Harvard Business School. I tell you.
His grasp of the issues, his transformative thinking and much more importantly, his lack of fear all combined in making the evening one of my best this year.
Abu has built for himself a separate entity in the space. He is not ‘normal’ o. His thinking, his approach to his work and his passion for technologically-assisted growth as a vehicle for national development is nothing but just crazyyy.
His talk about HEART – Health, Education, Agric – I don forget the rest abeg – was the highlight of the evening. Sterling’s attempt at transforming these key sectors by embedding viral thinking and out -of-the box re-engineering makes you think you were talking with a millennial innovator and not a full-fledged major bank Managing Director.
That I enjoyed the session could be gleaned from the fact that when it came to eating, I for once forgot about Afang and asked for a ‘fruit bowl’.
Abu like myself believe very strongly in his country and it is not about its ‘potential’- yeye potential that I have been hearing since 1969 when my papa give my mama belle to born me- but in the actual exploitation and engagement of the myriads of opportunities that keep staring us in the face.
As I watch him drive himself into the Lagos Night, I say to myself, ‘if only we can get a little bit more of his type, our problems will be solved.’ Brilliance and humility wrapped in one person? Life is not fair.
AKWA IBOM: LAND OF WITCHES
Everybody in my home state is a Witch or a Wizard. Real life ones o. Not the type we see in Hollywood Movies or the ones we see in Nollywood offerings that will be wearing red and be drawing chalk all over their bodies.
The ones in Akwa Ibom are real life ‘ifot’. That is what we call ourselves. In fact, there is a local government -Iruan- where it is said is the ground zero of the thing and this is why until very recently me, I never used to go near Akwa Ibom o before they go and eat my testicles and suck my blood and make me look like a malnourished and skinny version of a former Emir.
Well, this is what this mumu prophet really wants us to believe. Leveraging on the myth and the tales by moonlight, the white robbed smelly mouthed Prophet proclaims in a now virile video – Akwa Ibom has 2.3m witches and wizards. I shout. This one is mad o. So, in a state of a little over 6m people more than 40% are witches?
My people, let me talk seriously. This narrative has been very prevalent and until recently been the bane of the socio-economic development of our people. This has turned into a very serious limiting factor driving droves into the hands of clandestine faux Christian marauders who leverage on this to hold us captive.
Every street in Akwa Ibom is a church with plenty adherents running from ‘ifot’. The fear of ifot is the beginning of wisdom. You will hear people say things like – ‘Mbiam’, ‘ akpaubeng’ – this is in real life stroke that can be medically and scientifically explained. But in our parlance, these are the works of the very wicked, the witches and wizards who lurk around in our homes and communities.
Thankfully, the narrative is gradually receding and prophets like these are daily witnessing a massive movement out of their dirty places of worship hence the need for such banal and shocking videos to ramp up the fear.
Akwa Ibom has one of the highest literacy rates in the country, some of the best infrastructure, the brightest minds and some of the most influential leadership and they are not by any stretch of imagination any ‘ifot’.
This is not to throw any challenge to any ‘ifot’. Mbok, don’t come and try me o. I don’t have any power o. I am just writing article wey them send me o. As my mother will say, ‘Ndidia ekpeme edong ke nke ka.’ na daily food I dey find o no be witch trouble.
COSMAS MADUKA, BE STRONG
The sad news of the loss of Mrs. Maduka hit the airwaves with a thud. If you know Mr. Maduka or have come anywhere near him, you will understand the magnitude of this happening in his life. I once sat with him at his Maza Maza office for a long talk on the platform of the Lagos Business School Class of SMP 32 and he spent almost half of the time talking about mummy.
He was so enamoured by her and the stories where both instructive and very funny. Kai. When he tells you how they met as a poor village boy. How he had nothing to offer her and not even a bicycle to ride on the only date she agreed to, you would marvel at her strength.
When they talk about pillar, this was it. Mummy was more than a pillar o. She was the pillar. A very strong and matured pillar that stood till the very end.
Cosmas knew this and did not joke with her. His lecture that day to our class was filled with anecdotes on her and the role she played in building and securing the empire.
You know when things of this nature happen, we can only just bow our heads to the ultimate power and wisdom of the highest. Stay strong my Lord.
SULTAN ABUBAKAR MOHAMMED III: I STAND WITH YOU
Discussions on national issues are usually based on emotions and non-facts. Now, the highly respected Sultan has reechoed this. He has said somewhere that our people will be discussing Nigeria’s unity on the basis of emotions and it is true.
If you listen to some of these arguments even at the highest of levels you will just weak as we say it in Shomolu. Myths, half-truths, emotive, barely literate engagements and all.
Surprisingly, some of these crap seep into policy and form the basis of our engagement as differing units of a federation.
If I begin to tell you some of these stories, you will laugh and fall from your seat. I think we should slow down on these fables and engage as the Sultan has said in mature discussions driven by pure logic and facts that way you will see that we really do not have any fundamental differences except the fact that Yoruba people can die for stew although the pepper and tomatoes come from the North and the pile that the stew used to give them, it’s only Igbo native doctors that used to cure it in Ajegunle.
I rest my case.
JIMMY ONYEMENAM: A BRIDGEWAY TO WEALTH
Let me give one small gist and I hope my oga will not say that I can rigmarole o. My senior in secondary school, Jimmy Onyemenam reached out. ‘Edgar, I have something I want to discuss with you.’ ‘When can we see?” I say, ‘Oya’. He was my main supporter when I came out for the presidency of our 11,000 strong Alumni. That I failed in that pursuit did not make him lose his respect for me.
Anyways, that was how he showed me a brochure that opened my eyes to the power of a vision. The massive relocation of the Computer Village. My God, only a State Executive with visionary foresight could have put breath to this dream.
Jimmy told me how he made a presentation to the State Exco on the matter and how his Excellency engaged him and how he came out of that encounter drained. His performance backed by the full weight of the Lagos State government promises a massively transformative project.
Let me give you tit bits – the proposed ICT park is on 15.75 hectares with shopping plaza, banking and food courts, kee klamp malls, Innovation Hub, Mini Industrial Park, residences, hotels and utility facilities. With 2,500 car parking facilities it comes in as one of the biggest in sub–Saharan Africa.
This is a strong anchor of Governor Sanwo -Olu’s plan for turning Ikeja into a Mega City within the robust Lagos Mega City Plan.
What else is remaining to say than to wish this unique Private -Public Partnership model all the best. Wow.
SANWO-OLU’S LONG WALK TO NO WHERE
Oya, let me talk about daddy a second time. You see when someone is doing well, you hail him and when he is not doing so well, you also do not spare the rod.
Baba has missed it with this #EndSARS matter. I think he is too much in a hurry to make amends or jump on a populist bandwagon and it is hurting him. I fear if he doesn’t pull back, this could be fatal.
The thing is like when ‘Tambolo’ is biting you; they come at you from different angles and the only way you can fight it is to run away. In fact, in some cases you strip as you run.
Sanwo-Olu, you need to run away from this matter. This thing was not about you, no be you but the way you have unwittingly enmeshed yourself in the matter, may be because it happened under your watch in Lagos is making you look like the devil in this matter.
I know you have very good intentions and you want to quickly heal so we can move on. These wounds however are deep and run far beyond the causative factors of the crises itself.
Asking for a ‘peace walk’ immediately after the submission of a very controversial report which has been caned and abused from all angles is just naivety in display.
Opening yourself up for people who are looking for social media ‘likes’ to chew you is kind of sad. Falz, Mr Macaroni, Seun Kuti and the rest who have used your platform to fire at you cannot be blamed. Na, you give them the base.
Your Excellency, it’s like you have not played ‘Okolo’ before. Okolo is local lawn tennis. When you want to ‘wicked’ your partner, you will now throw the ball up so that the opposing person will slam him.
This is what you have done, you have raised the ball for Seun Kuti and Falz to slam you and they have slammed you with glee. Now you are wounded and bloodied.
It’s not too late to let go. Run my brother, run away from these things and when things ease out you can start engaging with proper policies and engagements and not rhetoric or symbolic things like this ‘trek’ which to me is meaningless if I am to put it lightly. Egbon, you will be ok, just let go.
FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVAL: MY POSITION
That is how they invited me to Silverbird TV to come and talk this matter. Looks like I will not be invited again, cos na fight end am.
The two young presenters came at me with the old and now mundane arguments about fuel going out of the reach of the ‘poor’, how it will boost inflation and how we should wait for the right time.
My people, let me be very blunt. Really blunt. There cannot be any right time for this matter. These subsidy crap throws in inefficiency into the system and causes dislocation in other areas like health, education and infrastructure.
So, this subsidy we are enjoying now, we are paying for it badly in other areas. So let us remove the thing now and immediately work on a collaborative multi sectoral push that would open up the economy, create more jobs, grow income and you will see that the forces of demand and supply will arbitrate the price of fuel and we will be the better for it.
It is the cowardice of waiting for the right time that has moved us from the time of IBB to where we are and still on the same message.
By the time I finish talking, the ‘children’ were just staring at me on live TV and could only say, ‘Thank You Mr. Edgar’. Me, I know they will not call me again. Wetin concern me? I had to wake up 5.30a.m. to get to the studios on time. As a retiree, that was one huge sacrifice for Nigeria that I am not ready to make again.
EMIR SANUSI LAMIDO: NOT YET UHURU
If you are close to me, you would have known that I am already planning a huge play next year titled – ‘Emir Sanusi.’ Now this play is not on the present deposed Emir but actually on his also deposed grandfather as told from the mouths of the ‘dogaris’ that served both of them.
So, when my friend told me yesterday that the Emir had won a court case against his dethronement, I want to cry o. How can Oga win this kind of case, it will spoil my drama and characterisation o.
He must remain deposed at least until after my play then they can put him back. So, it was with relief that I saw that the case won was on his banishment where the court even granted him N10million as damages.
Even me sef, I had wondered how someone could be banished as a full-blooded Nigerian from any part of the country. I also understand that having him within the Emirate would be one kind, especially as my oga will still be wearing peacock shoe and causing confusion, but his ‘banishment’ should be voluntary and not sanctioned.
Anyways, Kano Government have expectedly said, dem no gree, so we are watching.
KENNEDY UZUOKA: A FORCED U-TURN
Just as I was about to take a slight poke at this gentleman, my eyes catch a news item on the cover of the THISDAY Newspaper by the couch.
The headline screams – UBA wins African Banker of the Year Award. Wow. I said to myself. Here was I about to yab this oga that he has been very quiet recently ‘ashey’ he has been silently doing what the shareholders of the bank have mandated him to do – building a powerful financial institution.
As I gleaned the report, I see that UBA and its subsidiaries spread all over Africa won 14 awards in total. The first time in the 100-year history of the Banker Award I am told.
This is a powerful testimony to the Kennedy Uzuoka led Management team and let me quickly add to the strong and firm direction provided it by its Board led by my brother, muscle man Tony Elumelu.
Well-done to the team. Let me add that when my brother Charles Aigbe was there which made me a little bit close to the institution, I used to marvel at its dynamism. The way it blended the new and the old to bring out a powerful synergy in human capital putting it in a strong position to harness its growth initiatives.
All these are beginning to come home to roost with not only this award but also with the kinds of figures we are seeing.
Well-done guys, I will postpone the small yab I was going to give Brother Kennedy, he has done well. Congrats to the team.
