Pastor Taiwo Odukoya: Lightning Strikes Again
Ohhh my God!!! That was all I could say when Duchess called in that Pastor Nomthi just passed. Pastor Nomthi is the very beautiful wife of my Pastor, Pastor Odukoya.
She had been ill for a bit and had just passed to be with the Lord. Now, Duchess is a devoted member of the Fountain of Life Church, so by extension that is my church. I used to attend the church regularly until one night during the Passover service, when I was just standing on my own jeje and the security men came to catch me for throwing ‘Banga’.
It took a lot of convincing from many people that as a responsible member of society I cannot be throwing banga in church. Since then, my energy faded. But I still dey go once in a while and Pastor Nomthi touched me as a perfect fit for Pastor Taiwo.
She was svelte, sweet and humble. She locked in with his charms and helped deepen his vision. The church grew under both of them and ‘we’ opened the magnificent auditorium that makes worshiping wonderful.
Lightning has struck pastor a second time. How he still manages to stand tall beats me. The once, the thing hit me, I am still reeling, talk less of twice.
As my mummy Mrs Dawodu said, “God really has big plans for this man, for these things to keep happening to him.” Need I say more? Pastor, God has you in his sights. No be me go tell you this, you already know. Stay blessed and be consoled.
ALHAJI LATEEF JAKANDE: A LEGACY REVISITED
Let me officially announce that I have begun the process of mounting one of my most powerful projects ever. No mind me, na so I dey always talk am. Every project na powerful. My brother, Chike would shout scam and we go laugh.
Anyways, my new play ‘Baba Kekere’ is taking a cursory look at the life and times of one of the most respected Nigerian leaders ever, Alhaji Lateef Jakande. The play written and directed by my brother Makinde Adeniran has already received the support of His Excellency Babajide Sanwo-Olu and so as not to embarrass him, we decided to pay a courtesy call on the family.
Almost all members of the family were on standby to receive our team. That day, I bathed and wore perfume o. From Deji to Seyi and the young Segun to mummy, the Jakande Family exuded warmth, simplicity and true love.
They were happy we came, they received us and engaged us in a way that made me so so happy. My friend and brother who made this happen- Kayode Olowu had said it. He had said, “Duke, these are very simple people. You sef, you go see when you reach. No call my name o, mummy too like me o.” As I landed, that was the first thing I said. “Mummy, it is Kayode that sent me o.” she asked “Which Kayode? and Deji responded, ‘Nummy, eh ranti Kayode mo? Bobo nye to ma like ko nmu ogi gan” – na me add that one sha.
At the end of the meeting, we were taken on a tour of the house and we ended up in daddy’s room and Deji said, “that is the room where he passed on.”
It was a simple room, sparse and not in any way arrogant if you know what I mean.
What touched me again was his files. Plenty o. Real plenty in a long row of cabinets illustrating his huge passion and love for work.
We have been receiving a lot of offers from normal people that we should do a play on them. People should be respecting themselves na. Can’t they see the subjects we are dealing with – Awo, Aremu and now Jakande and Nelson Umo-Etuk will now say I should do a play on him.
Our history has to be retold in a very positive light, our heroes have to be celebrated and their legacy thrown out there so that emerging leaders will see the kind of historical figures that once led us.
‘Baba Kekere’ is a passion project, because if not for Alhaji, wetin for happen to me? We attended the so-called ‘Jakande’ school o and see us today. Immortal.
DAVIDO: A REAL POWERSHOW
At times, things happen, we just engage with the ‘feferity’ and move on. The real import of it is lost and we continue in our ‘mummuness’.
This man- Davido went on social media to ask his friends to contribute N1million so he can clear his new car. As I write, the amount sent to him has crossed the N100million mark and is still climbing very feverishly.
We should look beyond the act and allow the young ones on social media to be enjoying the fun of the whole episode and they are really enjoying it o. I even hear some people are sending in as little as N1,000.
For us adults, we should take a much more serious look at this phenomenon. This is raw social power that can be directed into different uses. It could be harnessed in politics, marketing and advocacy to mention a few.
I have always talked about this particular boy’s power especially during the Osun State elections where his uncle almost toppled the structure. His power was apparent there. Again, did you see what he did during the #EndSARS protests before it was hijacked?
Davido is a very powerful weapon for socio-political cohesion and mobilisation and those who have sense should begin to look at not only him but others like him in that mould with a view to properly harnessing it for good.
This reminds me of when I was looking for money for my new playlay ‘Ufok Ibaan’. I got some referrals. Na only N200,000 I am asking for o. Come and see the questions like I was facing a military trial. Who send you, why they send you, what is my name, why are you coming to me, I have not been in Uyo for years, are you sure it’s my own Usenekong?
Common N200k o and full red cap chiefs were denying their heritage. Laugh nearly kill me.
One even asked me to spell his name to be sure that it’s his own Akan because there are three other Akans with one who fought the Biafran war.
Come and see as our children are just dropping without questions. Kai.
THE ALISON DEZIANI BRA FOLLIES
This story will not go anywhere o. That is how as I was working towards the bathroom, I just saw the new EFCC man – I don forget him name – talking with some very nice looking ladies. I stopped to watch. I kinda like him. He looks so young and almost handsome. I had said, he looks like my in-law Olumide Olude.
Anyways, as I sat on the bowl, preparatory to finish watching him and continuing with my daily task of exploring the world of nudity and porn – I am a permanent researcher- he dropped the bombshell. “There was no diamond bra, if there was I would have known because I was the lead investigator.”
I’m weak. These social media people will not kill someone o. The story that had gone viral and even a very respectable newspaper outlet carried the news on their front page and people were analysing the thing on TV and radio and even me talked about the kind of nipples that would be ensconced in that kind of bra.
So, it was all a ruse. You see why Lai Mohammed is fighting to regulate social media. Imagine that kind of talk and see how far it went. I am still in shock, even the ladies too where in shock to the point that one of them shouted, “but I saw the picture na.”
Bawa said very calmly, “nothing like that.” I don’t even know what to say at this point. I remain in shock.
EBENEZER ONYEAGWU: ACCEPT MY HEARTFELT CONDOLENCES
I heard the sad news very surreptitiously and you know how sensitive these things can be; you handle such news with ultimate care. I had heard that this brilliant gentleman recently lost a very close and dear loved one.
So, I sent a small message via Whatsapp to him and he responded in the affirmative. You see loss is something else. You can never get used to it and you can never be a ‘man’ about it.
Me, I used to cry o. I will cry well with my people and I have really cried in the last 24 months so I know how it is and the feeling of numbness that comes with it.
My brother, please remain strong and stand firm, remaining the pillar of the family that every other person will lean on.
God will keep you guys and continue to give you the fortitude to bear this obviously very painful loss. This is not the time to ask if I could send you a bowl of well-made Afang so I will not ask. But sha know that the bowl is just a call away. Bless you my brother.
NGX: REFOCUSED, RE-ENERGISED AND ON COURSE
Those days after my father finishes beating me black and blue, he will call me and say he is beating me because he loves me. I will look at him and mutter under my breath ‘which kind mumu love’. One day, I stupidly said, “mbok, kpong mien” meaning “leave me.” The second round of beating passed the first one o.
Na so my relationship with the NGX be. The Capital Market is my first constituency. I still play there but independently and that is why I can shout when things are going wrong.
The other time when Oscar was trying to play a Mugabe, I shout o. I shout everywhere. People were calling me, “Edgar wetin Oscar do you?” I replied them: “He no thief my wife o, he no just fit hold the two positions. Na against all known corporate governance ethics.” Luckily he heard the cry and resigned for one.
Today, the NGX is doing what we have always been saying they should do. They are reaching out to the market. They are organising strategic engagements trying to pull in the retail space which is largely huge and untapped.
I have been invited to another session in Abuja which has so many top people speaking from the Vice President Yemi Osinbajo to my brother Jallo Waziri who is the head at the CSCS and my great brother Temi Popoola who is the head at the NGX.
Mbok see Temi o. Me and him were at CSL Stockbrokers under Gboyega Balogun and when we are doing weekly meetings, Gboyega will say “Temi, can we hear from you?” That one will carry his big head and be quoting all the billions of trades he had done and when he reached my turn, I would say, “Gboyega you know there was fuel scarcity last week.” That one will just stand up and carry him file comot.
The NGX seems to be on the right track now and we all can only support them meaningfully.
RITA OPIAH: THE DAMSEL AT THE PARK
“We have the first female General Manager in the Radisson Group here with us.”
This was Emmanuel, the very dutiful and passionate Manager at the Park Inn Radisson in Victoria Island. He had come to catch me. I wanted to do a photo shoot and had gone to the place to case it out.
Last time I was there, it was still under the Protea management but this time Radisson people had taken over.
I loved it instantly and started taking pictures and videos to send to my director. The people didn’t come to me o. It was Emmanuel they sent. That one came and was doing detective, doing his face like LASTMA that knows that he cannot do anything but will still be doing shakara.
He was too young for me to give the ‘do you know who I am’ attitude. I didn’t have to because he was very professional, respectful and nice.
We became friends and he started selling the facility and then he dropped it. The thing about the female General Manager. I asked for her profile and saw that she started as a receptionist at my friend Emeka Offor’s Victoria Plaza Hotel just down the road.
I simply love these kinds of stories. The humble story that leads to real success in a merit driven environment. These stories are the ones we need to be screaming so that our youths and even our elders will be inspired.
By the time Emmanuel finished with me, I found myself staying the night and I must tell you if there is anything you should do before the new year, na to go and baff for that hotel. The shower na magic. I bathed five times, my mama go don shift for grave cos we had a running battle with my quarrel with water. Well-done Rita and crew.
MAYEN ADETIBA: A VOTE OF CONFIDENCE
This one does not concern me but let me sha put my mouth. This amazon is running for the position of the Deputy President of the Nigerian Society of Engineers (NSE).
I didn’t know the elections were such a big deal until I stumbled on her and we had a discussion. I had reached out to ask if she would be in Uyo this December and she responded that she was running for an election.
I said OK o, send me something and let me send to some people and she sent me her profile. Mbok, the things I saw there – several Board seats in real strategic institutions like the CBN, NNPC. Service in various government committees, selfless services to the NSE and other such noble causes.
I was so proud of her when my friend in Kaduna, Abdul Aliyu called in to say, ‘Edgar, what is your own in this matter because I am voting in this election’? I said my candidate na Nma Adetiba and he said, ‘Ohh I know of her’. I say mbok vote. He keep quiet. I leave am.
Nma Adetiba has been around the block as you can see and I am of the firm opinion that if given the opportunity, she will do well hence this endorsement.
SEC: A DISTRESSED REGULATOR?
While we are still on this matter of the Capital Market, the Securities and Exchange Commission comes to view.
The place is looking like it is on one big roller coaster ride – The Obi Cubanna type.
We have seen that they have been reported to be spending a whopping N6billion out of their N9billion generated periodically on salaries and emoluments. I am sure if you dig into the N6billion in more detail, you will see some diamond encrusted bra and jacuzzi, the type you will see in a Rap Star’s apartment.
When they asked the oga why it was like this, he simply quipped that he met it like that. Abi what else will he say when the appointment would have mostly been gotten on the altar of one Aladura church somewhere or through a handwritten note on the back of a complimentary card. I am not saying anything o.
We will continue to remain in the backwaters if we keep manning strategic organisations like these with these kinds of journeymen.
So, this new man cannot immediately roll back costs, generate new income streams and generally just carry out far reaching reforms to pull it out of the situation it finds itself in.
When the SEC itself is distressed, how will it regulate a system. A distressed SEC? Only in kalakuta Republic.
