A Huge Appreciation for Prof Yemi Osinbajo
Please, guys, you will give me small space to gloat this week o. It is not every day someone of my little status would organise something and a former President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo; a sitting Vice President, Prof Yemi Osinbajo; a sitting Governor, Mr Sanwo-Olu; a sitting Speaker of the House of Representative, Mr. Femi Gbajabiamila and two former governors, Segun Osoba and Gbenga Daniel would attend. I didn’t even give them refreshments and I apologise for that.
It was my brother, Ladi Soyode, who a week to D-day confirmed the VP’s attendance at the command performance of my play ‘Awo’. I was awed.
“You don’t mean it? VP? The same one?” I asked him, just to be 100 per cent sure, and he replied “yes o.”
Confusion enter my matter. I didn’t know what to wear to receive the VP especially as they said, his beautiful wife would also be in attendance. That is how I carried my other brother, Yemi Shodimu, enter Lagos Island to look for something to buy.
Anyways, D-day arrived and the whole Lagos was at the Glover Memorial Hall when the protocol people called me, “Mr. Duke, the Vice President just landed Lagos and the convoy is on the way to you. Remain on standby.”
Me? VP coming to me? Oya na, let’s go there.
That was how they lined us up to receive the VP: Me, Duchess, Olisa Adibua, my brother-in-law Etim in full Ibibio regalia; my brother Nonso Okpala, GMD of VFD, his Chairman — I don forget him name abeg — the Governor, Speaker and Segun Awolowo.
My people, immediately the VP arrived, I don’t know where the crowd came from o. They surged and I was kicked out. See Nigerians, big men struggling. They push me wey get show comot to crowd VP.
Ah! In my mind, I was already thinking of closing the show. Abeg, make everybody go their house. Imagine.
Anyways, VP found his way to me and said, “Duke of Shomolu, it is indeed a huge pleasure to finally get to meet you”
OMG! That moment, I wan faint. I even fart come dey fear make VP no smell am o. I said to him “Thank you my Lord, oya rush inside, the show wan start.”
After the show, the VP came on stage and shook me again and said, ‘Duke I must confess, I had an open mind before the show, but what I have just seen is quite impressive’. He shook my hands again.
My people, forget say VP short small o. The man is fine sha. His chest be like say he dey go gym and he stand like who fit fight o. Well built and with a firm handshake. But his eyes looked really tired. I pity am for that one. Be like say oga no dey sleep, but who goes to sleep in his position in this country?
Anyways, my Lord, I really remain so very grateful that you found time to attend. Your attendance was a big boost not only to the cast and crew but also to the whole industry.
Help me greet your protocol and Chief Security Officer, especially Kingsley and SA teleprompter; very courteous and well-behaved people. Next time, wait small for Afang. Thank you, Your Excellency.
GOVERNOR JIDE SANWO-OLU – LEAVE MY TOAST BREAD
My brother Bonu Solomon the Special Adviser to His Excellency on Culture and Arts was with me throughout that day. A very hardworking young man who kept me informed on His Excellency’s movement regarding the command performance.
He said: “Edgar, His Excellency is on the way.”
I replied, “Bro, make he come, we dey wait.”
His Excellency arrived and in a sweet jocular manner headed for my wife’s toast bread stand and said something in Yoruba that my girl ‘Mo’ has refused to interpret to me except I pay N5,000. This one does not know that I am a principled leader like Awo. You see, Awo in the play refuses to beg for his freedom, so why me, Executive Producer will now pay for interpretation. I ignored her.
His Excellency was sprinted off into the VFD holding room where he sat with the directors of the firm who were our major sponsors. He was playful, happy and entertaining. He looked at me and said: “Duke, your pen is bigger than you.”
“Baba, I am on a strict diet,” was my humble reply.
After the play, he went on stage and took the spotlight. I liked the fact that he spoke so eloquently without a prepared speech which to me showed deep immersion in his work.
His speech made headlines the next day. He talked about the ‘curse’ Papa Awo placed on Lekki where he was incarcerated and how that curse had now turned Lekki into a very profitable landmass. Brilliant off the cuff speech.
He shook me again and exited. Let me carefully say something at this point. Governor Sanwo-Olu renovated the Glover Memorial Hall and has done a lot to support entertainment and tourism. He has better positioned it as part of his economic drivers and has gone ahead in supporting it through infrastructural development, grants, human capacity development and the rest. Thank you so much, Your Excellency.
Let me announce here that he has also commissioned our play ‘Baba Kekere’ which is based on the life and times of Alhaji Lateef Jakande. Hold tight and I hope Your Excellency will once again grace the occasion. God bless you, sir.
FEMI GBAJABIAMILA: YOU SAID IT ALL
He walked into the holding room looking quite neat. The man fine o. That was the first thing that crept into my mind as he walked in, very simply clad. He was wearing a well-sewn linen trad. And very beautiful black shoes. We all stood up to greet him and asked to take a picture with him.
That was how one overzealous security man- na so dem dey do o- pushed me back o, almost breaking my ankle. Lord Gbaja vex.
“What is this na? It’s just a simple picture,” he said. That one slithered away to a dark corner and remained there for the rest of the night.
He watched the show very quietly. Enjoyed it thoroughly and at the end of the show, he came on stage to also give a very remarkable speech. He talked about how musicals were reserved for the very few — how he knew that as a politician still dey wonder me sha.
He yabbed Segun Awolowo small, said that one was crying when they showed his father’s passing during his grandfather’s incarceration and also quipped that Sanwo-Olu should please give Segun land in Lekki since his grandfather had already blessed the land.
Beautiful speech, not long or filled with sweet anecdotes, and crisp. As he walked away, I prayed for him to trip and fall so that I could collect the shoes; they were too fine. The bobo no gree fall o, he still went home with those shoes. See me in disbelief.
SEGUN AWOLOWO: A BROTHER NEXT DOOR
He arrived with his mother, Princess Abah Folawiyo and his Uncle, Professor Oyediran, former Vice-Chancellor of the University of Ibadan.
Let me detour and talk a little about Lord Segun of Ikenne.
He wore a green trad that was made up of …. I don forget the name o. No be adire, no be cotton, no be the one we dey use sew native o. Kai, I don forget the name o and I just remember now o. But I don forget again.
Anyways, it was green and he killed it with a green pair of tennis shoes. His gold chain shining in the afternoon sun and with his Awo cap, he looked really regal.
That was how my only sister, the Dame Mayen Etim of Nsit Ibiom, not understanding the latest fashion trends for Aristocrats said, “Lord Ini you don’t even know how to dress, how can you wear sneakers with traditional wear?
See mumu, I will have to send her to the South of France, make dem go better prepare you for aristocracy. I just showed her Segun Awolowo’s picture with the green canvas. She apologised.
Segun was the perfect host. He made the top dignitaries very comfortable and held my hands as we received the top dignitaries, showing me how to stand and shake and seat them. He would say, ‘Sit this one here, no be cabinet level, put am for back… Sit this one beside this one, they were both governors at some point. Stand here, go here.” Phew! Thank you so much, Segun. I can safely say that without his support and continued encouragement ‘Awo’ would not have been a reality.
TOKUNBO AWOLOWO-DOSUNMU: MUMMY!!! MUMMY!!! MUMMY!!!
She was unavoidably absent and that in no way removes her great contribution to what has now become the biggest theatrical show in the history of Nigeria. With over 200 actors, a N50 million budget and about 6,000 people physically attending, you will agree with me that history never had it so good.
Mama was the spirit behind it all. She commandeered from the back, ensuring the script was intellectually and factually strong, making calls to sponsors and getting very difficult people to even listen to me. But her greatest influence were those calls. She would call me and say, “Edgar, how is it going? Eku se oo.”
I would reply, “Ese gan ma,” in my Ibibio-laced Yoruba.
Let me use this opportunity to say thank you so very much for her support. Today Nigerian theatre is richer because of her.
NATIONAL BUREAU OF STATISTICS: WATCHING WITH ONE EYE
I am watching you very carefully o. You have just released a report showing a decline in headline inflation in August dropping to 17.01% from 17.38% in July. You went ahead to say that there has been a consistent drop in inflation for the last eight months.
My people, things on the ground don’t agree with this assertion o. Which indices are you using to calculate this your own o?
The Naira haemorrhaging in a full import-dependent economy cannot justify this your report o. Like I said, I have my doubts but we will still be watching and I hope that the thing Mr. Kale said about being pressured is not finding foot here o.
The need for us to receive data with strong integrity cannot be overemphasised. It is very good for all sides – the government to measure its performance, opposition to track, planners to work with and international partners to rate and grade so that we can have access to better grants and aides and loans.
Another sore point is the point in your report where you said food prices dropped by 20.3% in July compared to 21.03% in the previous month. You said the small rise was caused by the rise in food items like eggs, bread, cereals, oil and fats while farm produce dropped to 13.41% from 13.72%.
Please the real test for all these is for you in that Bureau to drop the chop money you give your wives at the same percentage that you say food price index is dropping and see if you will not find yourselves at the National Hospital needing stitches. Na wa.
EFCC: CORRECT ON LEKKI
They say that the EFCC has said that Lekki is now the capital of yahoo, yahoo. This statement is so correct that you will weep. My people, me sef I have been watching this thing with a bit of concern.
Walk into any hotel in Lekki or an eatery or lounge and the vast amount of young children dressed in very expensive clothes and driving very expensive cars carrying very expensive girls will amaze you.
Na the expensive girls own be my real issue. They make us, otherwise very hard working 30-day a month salary earning sugar daddies find it very hard to compete. I tell you when your target lady is holding a N500,000 iPhone which is your son’s school fees or rent, where will you want to start from?
The EFCC must continue with this fight. It is not only for them but for us who are being beaten in the field. Now, to take small girls out is expensive. Before, if you take them to Mr Biggs they will be calling their friends and saying, “Come and see one big boy I just catch.” Today, if you never spend N100k for two plates of ‘Ofada’ rice you never start.
These yahoo, yahoo boys have spoilt market o. You can’t even get a discount in our so-called five-star hotels. The very biggest of them all really rely on the patronage of these boys o. Lekki is now the headquarters. Out of every five people you see there, one na yahoo, yahoo or related to yahoo, yahoo.
Please EFCC come to our aid, ‘bring back our girls’. I don run o!
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: MY WIFE BEATS ME
Shebi we know how to look at the other side. Everybody is looking at one side. My husband beats me. The system, judiciary, NGOs everybody is an expert on- my husband beat me matter- nobody is looking at the other side.
I have just seen a report from the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team stating that 194 males had been beaten by their spouses and partners. The report shows a sharp increase of 44.33% against the 108 reported during the same period the previous year.
The scary thing is that, according to the report, males find it difficult to report this because of cultural norms and public ridicule.
Please I beg for us to look more critically at this growing menace because if you now add the verbal assault 100% of us males suffer, you can see why we have more widows in the country today. Our men are dying and in silence and nobody is saying anything. Not fair.
AISHA BUHARI: MUMMY GOES NOLLYWOOD
During the week, my favourite First Lady was said to have released a video of the Minister of Communications and recently minted Professor of something crying over a sermon. She was said to have put as caption the need for people to do the right thing. I hear that she has even released a follow up on the initial video giving a further explanation for her film debut.
Me, I have always loved- sorry, liked, before they come and turn my face into something else — her forthrightness, her strong resolve to stand by the truth, justice and fair play. Her ability to always stand and say her mind despite her position always used to hit me in my sore points. Well done Madam, really well done. God bless you for us. Please help us release more videos. We dey wait.
GODWIN OBASEKI: FEAR OF COVID-19
E Be like say Chief Obaseki na him fear this Covid pass all of us. The way he is going about this thing, everybody will soon be vaccinated in Edo. The man says, if you are not vaccinated you will not be allowed to sleep with your wife and talk less of your maid. Everybody in Edo must show a vaccination card before anything.
Much as I support this push, the thing is becoming ridiculous abeg. Do we even have enough vaccines to go around? Why not concentrate energy in procurement before this push? With supplies that can cover less than 5% of the population this hysterical drama will lead to all sorts of sharp practices which will even come and kill the people.
Bro, let’s not put the cart before the horse. Make the thing available plenty and then use persuasive tactics and leave all these military-type instructions. Cannot ‘werk’.
MUSA GOWON: BLAST FROM THE PAST
Musa and I went to the same school – Command Secondary School in Ipaja. I think he didn’t really stay and left almost immediately. But his last name and who he was as a person resonated in the school and left an indelible mark in the place.
Then we lost contact and over 30 years later, I began to see him on social media displaying some of the most powerful designs in fashion.
I asked myself, is this the same Musa Gowon in Command? The same General Yakubu Gowon’s son doing fashion? So I reached out.
It was him o. I started following his works very diligently and have seen mercurial talent. No wonder he chose this path. One would have expected a career in the military or even in leadership or politics but my brother has chosen a totally different path of using fashion to bless the world with his gift.
