I am often enamoured by inspirational easy to remember axioms, like Richard Carlson’s, “don’t sweat the small stuff,” or “be gentle first with yourself,” credited to Lama Yeshe. These dicta are usually truths staring you right in the eye and yet you can easily ignore or be oblivious of them. When you hear them, you tend to wonder, “that is stating the obvious, but why didn’t I think of it?” Take for instance Gerard Eakedale’s “recognition is the greatest motivator,” or Wole Soyinka’s “A tiger does not shout its tigritude, it acts”, and “the man dies in all who keep silent in the face of tyranny”. On the importance of taking action, I have a few – Jonathan Huie’s, “powerful dreams inspire powerful action”, Diana Hunt’s, “goals are dreams with deadlines”, and Sophocles, “success is dependent on effort”. I could go on and on, but this piece is not about famous quotes. It is about an obscure quote – “I am a human being.” A five word phrase I picked up recently, in a conversation. Long after the conversation ended, the words kept playing back in my head – “I am a human being”. What is the import of this phrase? Was he looking for a validation of his worth, or the affirmation of his personhood? Did I give him that?
In our dealing with people, do we sometimes forget that they are “human beings?” In our fast paced, success crazy, competitive, pressured world, we do need to be reminded of this from time to time – “I am a human being”. Yes, we call them Managing Partners, Partners, Associates, Lawyers, employers, oga-at-the-top, employees, staff, support staff, clerks, drivers, etc. Nonetheless, they are just human beings. We expect them to have all the answers, be on top of their game, pick up the phone every time you call, and always say the right things, be proactive – anticipate problems and solve them, put in the 1,400 billable hours p.a, think outside of the box, do the heavy lifting, etc. It is okay to have all these expectations, but also expect them to be humans. It does not matter whether you are the employer with the side office overlooking the skyline with Herman Miller’s Equa chair, Noguchi table, Marshmallow sofa, or you are the employee hemmed in a corner of the office with no view and surrounded with the ragged furnishings – we are all humans travelling the same weary road, each flawed, each learning and growing, and unequivocally worthy of being respected and valued. The five word phrase, “I am a human being”, haunted me for a couple of days. It is a reminder of our vulnerabilities. Being vulnerable is acknowledging you are not faultless, you make mistakes, and you don’t have all the answers. In other words, it is admitting that you are human.
As much as we try to hide it, our weaknesses always manage to show up from time to time. The fact that I own a business and employ people, or that I work for someone as an employee, does not make me super or sub human. I am a human being – I do not have to continually live for others and their causes, placing my own needs and existence as an appendage. I have personal expectations, whether as an employee or an employer, and I am entitled to them. So, give your staff and yourself the gift of approval and acceptance. Employment is not martyrdom. Rein in that look and tone of disappointment or disgust when you fall below expectations, or at the failings of your team. If you absolutely cannot give your staff approval or acceptance, at least let them leave with dignity.
