From #StarboyFest to #Buharifest?

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Muhammadu Buhari

ALTERNATIVE By Reno Omokri

On Friday, November 1, 2019, I got up to read a headline in Vanguard newspapers, which screamed ‘Patronise locally made products, Buhari tells Nigerians’.

To say I was gobsmacked by the headline would be putting it mildly. Here was a guy who was giving this counsel to his citizens all the way from the London, where he is on a “private visit”.

Nigeria has many safe, beautiful and serene places, where General Buhari could privately perform his private visit, including Obudu Cattle Ranch, Yankari Games Reserve, Gashaka Gumpti National Parliament, and many others, but Buhari chose to privately visit London and we are to publicly pay for it.
Yet, the man insults our intelligence by asking us who are suffering the effects of his impulsive border closure, to patronise made in Nigeria goods.

ALL his children schooled in England. His wife just returned from a 3 month UK stay. His daughter gave birth to his grandchild in Spain (made in Spain), his doctor is in the UK, he imports grass from Brazil for cows, and drives a Mercedes Benz Maybach from Germany, while wearing a $640 Italian Gucci shoes, yet General Buhari, who is right now in London, wants us to patronise made in Nigeria! What type of Next Level hypocrisy is this?
If you watched it in a Nollywood movie, you may complain that it is a badly scripted Idumota movie. But what do we do when real life imitates art and does so rather badly?

Nigerians in the street are saying that it is not only the price of food that has SKYROCKETED. General Buhari, the man who purports to be their leader, has also SKYROCKETED to Saudi Arabia and London for 19 days.

After CRUDE OIL, this CRUDE MAN called Buhari is our next biggest EXPORT. Any useless conference he will attend. If Association of Beer Drinkers do a conference in Germany, off he goes! “ROAMING about like ROMEO” Who will help us CLOSE the BORDER so he can STAY and GOVERN?

Even witches are complaining that Buhari is flying more than them. The chief of air staff does not fly as much as Buhari. Does Buhari want to be a pilot for #NigeriaAir? 16 days in London after 3 days in Saudi, after 3 days in Russia, after 3 days in SA, after 4 days in Japan. Is Buhari the Chief of Air Staff?

Or is General Buhari jealous of Wizkid’s world tour? Because it does not make sense for a man who just returned from multiple foreign tours, to take off to Saudi for 3 days and from there to London for 16 days. Does he want to do a musical collaboration with the British Prime Minister or what? From #StarboyFest to #Buharifest?

Yes, Obasanjo, sycophants and Buhari apologists are correct that former President Olusegun Obasanjo also traveled, but his travels brought us DEBT RELIEF. What has General Buhari’s travels brought us? Instead of RELIEF, Buhari increased our DEBT almost times 3, from N12 trillion in 2015 to N27.5 trillion today

#TableShaker
#FreeLeahShatibu #BuhariTormentor
And the so called border closure itself is doing more harm than good to our economy. I watched a video of Africa’s richest man, Aliko Dangote, complain that Benin Republic buy their cement from China, when they could much easier but it from us. These are the types of losses the wrong headed policy will cause. More goods move to our neighbours from Nigeria than vice versa, and they will find alternatives if we keep our borders shut!

In 1973, OPEC imposed an oil embargo on the West. Denmark was one of the worst affected countries because it depended on oil and gas for 78% of its power. The government ordered that lights must be turned off throughout the country at certain times to conserve energy and their economy ground to a halt.

That embargo created a crisis that forced Denmark to make changes. To avoid what OPEC did to her economy, Denmark started building wind mills and by 2015, Denmark was producing enough power from windmills to sell to her neighbours. They also implemented a long term strategy to replace petrol powered cars with electric cars and by 2030, it will be illegal to buy or sell a petrol fuelled car in Denmark.

OPEC forced Denmark to make changes. General Buhari ought to learn from the OPEC/Denmark experience. By closing Nigeria’s border, we are forcing our neighbours to wean themselves off Nigerian products and either become self sufficient or find new suppliers. The newly signed ACFTA makes it easy for other African nations to supply them. Nigeria exports more to these nations than we import from them. We should THINK before we ACT or we will STINK after we ACT

The funniest thing is that the Nigerian media reported, and it has not been denied, that General Buhari awarded the contract to provide Nigeria military and paramilitary uniforms to a Turkish company.

How can General Buhari give the contract for producing military and paramilitary uniforms to a Turkish firm? That is unpatriotic. It is also against our national security interests. There are firms in Aba and Onitsha that can do it. Why close the Nigerian border only to end up doing this? This is the height of disloyalty to Nigeria, her military and her economy. Will the Turkish government do that for a Nigerian company? Would any reasonable country allow such? Why do we reason like this in Nigeria?

Alas, there seems very little we can do but watch as General Buhari continues to junket, while Nigeria plummets. Thanks to the Supreme Court, our nation now has an eminently quailed President who has led us to unprecedented poverty, while he and his family enjoy unprecedented prosperity.

Reno’s Nuggets
Let me explain FAVOUR using human terms. Aliko Dangote is a BILLIONAIRE. But he complained that he needed a VISA to visit Angola. A BROKE American does NOT need a VISA. He is entitled to an eVisa. Dangote is OVER QUALIFIED. The BROKE American is FAVOURED! Why is the BROKE American FAVOURED? Because his country has paid the price for him. As long as he continues to be an American, he will never need a VISA to Angola. Heaven is the Christian’s country. Christ is our VISA to any good location. As long as you BELIEVE, your VISA remains VALID!