President Buhari – You Need Lanre Olusola

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Walahi, Lanre Olusola, the love coach is who, or should I say is what you need at this moment. As I watch Mummy Aisha speak that night at the airport as she returned after months of being outside and the subsequent revelations, I have safely come to the conclusion that things may have fallen apart and the centre is certainly no longer holding. You see a woman in Aisha’s position cannot be ‘controlled’, na to just beg and that is why I am saying let us reach out to my brother, he is very good at these things. Let me tell you my own story so you learn from it: So one time, I went to play outside game with one beautiful damsel somewhere in Ogba and before you knew it, a bundle of joy had been produced. While I was still grappling with that one, another beautiful damsel entered the picture. I was weak and found myself in a Tuface-kind of trouble.

Mbok, come and see psychological warfare that Duchess unleashed on me. Activities in the other room were cancelled, feeding cancelled, greetings cancelled. My parents declared persona non grata in my house and I was forced into self-exile and banished to the couch. That is why till today when I sleepon a bed I get very uncomfortable. My brother, this lasted for four years. Even the damsels outside no hungry me again. I turn into mumu and will be working around like a zombie. At least I was not President, so 180m Nigerians did nothave to suffer as a result of my indiscretions. That is how one man recommended Lanre Olusola for me. Fine man o, smooth beards but gorimapa for him head. I call him and book appointment but I beg him that divorce was a no go area. You know how IBB give no go areas for constitutional conference. That is how I give am. So we arrived in separate cars, I cannot tell you what he said or did not because knowing you very well, you will now not go and see the man there by depriving me of my commission. Anyways, he told me clearly that what Fela call‘ bend bend sleep’ is over for some time, and that I should connect with that and be at peace with that.

That is the only thing I can tell you because the way I see mummy for that interview, ‘bend bend sleep’ is looking like it’s over for you sir till after this tenure. Kai. Pele. Anyways he told me things to do and say which I followed religiously and one day, as I was getting ready to go to work, I heard her scream my name – Joeeeeeee!!!! That time I was not yet The Duke of Shomolu, I was still ordinary Joe. Come here and rub my back. I swear I didn’t wait for another call o, I jump in o. So my brother this Lanre guy na magician with these kind issues, just get DSS to fetch him for you and you will see all these wahala will solve. When you are free, drop by in Shomolu for drinks so we can share experiences. Kai.