The Pics-HD General

7
Muhammadu Buhari

THE ALTERNATIVE With RENO OMOKRI

The turns and meandering that the issue of General Buhari’s certificate has taken at the Presidential Election Petition Tribunal is enough to make one dizzy.

General Buhari had sworn under oath to the Independent National Electoral Commission that his certificate “as filled in my Presidential form, APC/001/2015 are currently with the Secretary of the Military Board”. However, his own witness, Major General Paul Tarfa, contradicted General Buhari by saying that the Nigerian Army did not request or keep their certificates.

And then General Buhari’s Chief of Staff, Malam Abba Kyari, admitted that what he tendered in court was an attestation. He did not tell the tribunal how he got the so called ‘attestation’.

But perhaps most bizarrely, in this already strange melodrama, was the tendering of a picture of a young Buhari and his classmates by the Buhari team. Since when has a class picture become proof of a certificate?

It simply amazes me that a nation with such a large number of highly educated people will allow itself to be misgoverned by a man with a dubious certificate, like Muhammadu Buhari. Truly, in search of a solution, Nigeria ended up with a problem.

I am PROUD of Nigeria, but ASHAMED of her leader. Nigerians are the MOST EDUCATED people in Africa, with the LEAST EDUCATED leader on the continent. The average Nigerian has at least a UNIVERSITY DEGREE, but our leader is not even sure he has a SCHOOL CERTIFICATE.
Nigerians go to job interviews with their CERTIFICATES. Our leader goes to court with a PICTURE. Truly, EDUCATION opens the eyes. You are BLIND without it. Nigeria is akin to a nation of VISIONARIES led by a BLIND man. It is even better to have a nation of BLIND people led by a man with a VISION.

I was telling someone that Nigerian leaders are very educated. Presidents Obasanjo and Jonathan both have a PHD, while General Buhari has a PICS-HD!

You ask what a picsHD is?
That is when you tender a High Definition PICTURE of you and your classmates in lieu of your CERTIFICATE.
But seriously though, on average, Nigerians have more EDUCATION than all other nationalities in Africa. A country like Zimbabwe has a higher literacy level than Nigeria, but on average, most Zimbabweans have a School Leaving Certificate, while most Nigerians have at least a Bachelor. Are you telling me that Buhari is the best we can do? I almost feel like saying YUCK, like my son did when he was a toddler and did not like the food he was served.

How could Buhari have kept his school pictures but could not keep his school certificates. Does that make sense?
And the annoying thing is that instead of certificate, the shameless man was circulating pictures of himself using toothpick this past week. I don’t blame him. When you have Pics-HD certificate, you will use toothpick to shine. Pic and pick, what is the difference?
As my Igbo brothers would say, Just negodu!

REVOLUTION and PROTESTS ROCKING Nigeria. HERDSMEN are KIDNAPPING and KILLING your CITIZENS from JIGAWA to AJEGUNLE.
All this is happening while Nigeria is the world headquarters for extreme poverty and out of school children. Alarmingly, we are also told that no Nigerian air or sea port screens incoming visitors for Ebola. If Ebola breaks out, we know what this administration will do-blame it on Jonathan.

Meanwhile, General Buhari is circulating photographs of himself with a toothpick in his mouth!
Some are MOURNING and some are CELEBRATING!
The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission arrests Yahoo boys who use fake pictures to deceive women in romance scams. But what about a Yahoo General, who uses a picture to deceive Nigerians that he has a WAEC/GCE Certificate?
Well, I do not even know why I am surprised. These are the characteristics of a Pics-HD leader. His solution to everything is to take and circulate pictures.

Only a Pics-HD leader will himself encourage revolution (he asked Nigerians to learn from the Egyptian revolution in 2011. Google it), only to clamp down when the very same Nigerians attempt to take him at his words.

Ex-President Jonathan’s mother had 10 children. Only Jonathan and his sister survived infancy. This left his mother TRAUMATISED. She had a déjà vu moment when she saw a coffin of her son being carried by #OccupyNaija protesters and cried for days. Former President Jonathan was heartbroken because of his mother’s pain. She had to be placed under a doctor’s care. Yet he NEVER stopped the #OccupyNaija protest that was promoted by General Buhari, Nasir El-Rufai, Bola Tinubu and leading members of the current APC.
That is TOLERANCE. The type of TOLERANCE that General Buhari does not and can NEVER have.

And according to TRANSPARENCY INTERNATIONAL, Nigeria is now more CORRUPT today than in 2015
According to the United Nations, Nigerians are now POORER today than 2015. In fact, from THIRD FASTEST GROWING ECONOMY in the world in 2014, we are now the GLOBAL HEADQUARTERS for EXTREME POVERTY today.

According to the Global Terrorism Index, Nigeria is more INSECURE today than in 2015.
The Naira is worth 100% less than it was worth in 2015 and petrol that was N87 in 2015 is now N145 today. Meanwhile, we are generating LESS power than we did in 2015.

So, I ask you this question: Of what use is General Buhari to Nigeria?

Renos Nuggets
MARRY a WIFE who gives you LOVE not one who gives ROMANCE. ROMANCE is expensive. LOVE does not cost a thing. The reason many think CHAMPAGNE is better than WATER is because it‘s EXPENSIVE. But wait until you are THIRSTY and you will appreciate WATER. The most ELIGIBLE woman is a woman whose CHARACTER, MIND and PERSONALITY is as BEAUTIFUL as her FACE. MARRYING because of FACIAL beauty alone is like making decisions based on feelings. FACIAL BEAUTY, like feelings, does not last

#FreeLeahSharibu #RenosNuggets

Reno’s Darts
I remind those soldiers and policemen General Buhari sent to beat protesting Nigerians that 1000 of their colleagues were killed by Boko Haram and Buhari buried them secretly at night. The Nigerians you were beating are the ones who will protest so they don’t bury YOU at night! Meanwhile, Sudan has a military government, yet the Sudanese people are allowed to protest against them. Nigeria has a civilian government, yet Nigerians are not allowed to protest against their government. This is how far our democracy has been eroded under General Buhari.

#FreeLeahSharibu #RenosDarts.