Dangote vs BUA

These two are fighting or should I use the word squabbling over mining leases in Edo State. This should ordinarily not be my business but when you consider the fact that these two have over the years shown considerable interest in the general well-being of our people, we cannot help but be concerned. Between the two of them, they have created gainful employment for our people, created and redistributed wealth and generally shown us what we can do with the necessary commitment and focus as Nigerians. So all hands must be on deck to resolve this matter. I still believe that there is nothing that meaningful dialogue cannot resolve especially if there is sincerity.

I would have offered to lead the peace move but I must confess that I have a conflict of interest. My first girlfriend – Wunmi who used to live in Iwaya, works for Dangote. I remember how I used to go wait for her to close and she would work late because she could not go home if the boss did not go home. I would sit in my old battered Peugeot car with all the attendant risks of armed robbery, waiting for her to come and give me just a peck o. At times she would just send a message down that she could no longer make it at past midnight after waiting since 5pm. So you see why I cannot be neutral because she is still working there and still looking as beautiful as ever. I will recommend a neutral individual to wade into this matter and ensure that we achieve a resolution that would be the best for both parties and indeed for all Nigerians. Thank you.

Mrs Bisi   Fayemi and Her Loudwhispers
I have reserved my comments on your wonderful book which I have not read yet. I am very sure it’s a beautiful compilation and a great addition to popular culture. Well done ma. The fact that you have taken time to compile your writings in your blog in the last 20 months according to your release, and put it in a book form is admirable. It is in this regard that I will like to formally send you my warmest regards even as I look forward to seeing the book on the New York Times Bestseller list. Akin, give me a call, we need to talk.

Abubakar Atiku – You Must Contest Oh!
I have just seen a report saying that you have not yet decided to contest. Abeg, that must not be true oh. After carrying us all on a ride from one party to the other, you will now not contest? You must contest o. We will mobilise and buy the form for you if money is the problem. You will contest. Don’t let me cry here o. Atiku for President! Which kind musical chairs be this one? The whole thing is getting dizzier than the famed Maradona who dribbled the whole country including himself during the June 12 debacle. Atiku for president! You will contest whether you like it or not. It is by force. I have said my own.

Fela Reincarnated
I must confess that the first time I went to see this play, I slept off. Tired from the hustle and bustle of Lagos. Immediately the air conditioner hit me, I dozed off like a drunken sailor. So, I decided to go see it a second time even though I only missed about 20 minutes of the play. This time, I took it in end to end, and I must say, I was not disappointed. The show was grandeur and beautifully put together. I have said so much about it in my last write-up and will spare you guys with the scintillating details. Go see this show and tell me what you think. It is a masterpiece. God bless you, Bolanle.

Chile’s Friends and their Miracle
Chile is a hard-working employee of Zenith Bank. She and her friends have decided to touch people’s lives by contributing just N1,000 and gifting a random person. She has called it the N1k miracle. I am part of the group o and I donate very well o. So, we all contribute N1,000 every fortnight and at the end of the month, Chile with some members will go to the Gbagada General Hospital and just give a random sick person all the money contributed for the month. This month, we contributed N114,000 and gifted a mother whose son was suffering from burns. You should have seen her eyes when Chile handed her the money. She almost fainted. Getting that kind of support from total strangers! We have started contributing for next month and my mobile app has refused to work. Which kind wahala is this one na? They will think I don’t have the money o.