Ademola Adeleke: Owambe Goes to the Senate

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I am sure by now you guys would have seen the video which has gone viral. It was the video of the newly elected senator dancing to some strong Juju music. That he can dance was not in question o. The way he shook his waist, held his head and rocked his bottom to the music was very infectious. It is something like this that makes you start to understand why they call that brand of music – Juju. The way the thing used to catch them, you will think it is juju that the musician is using. In my time, I have gone to a lot of Owambe parties and what you would see in that Adeleke video is exactly what happened at those parties. Once the musician starts singing your praises, you will immediately go into a trance like the senator-elect, you will jump up and run to the bandstand; as they are singing your name, you will just be doing like this senator. With no control o, you will be shaking your head, your eyes will become glazed and you will empty your pocket of your hard-earned money and be throwing at the musician. I have never been caught in that trance sha. You know my madam is an Owambe queen and I have followed her to many. They would just be calling my name… Edgar oooooo, Edgarooooo, I would sit down and be looking. They don’t know as Duke of Shomolu that kind thing cannot catch me. They would call me ‘’handsome bobo’’, ‘’omo Igbo’ all sorts, I would just be looking at them. I have never really understood the craze for this lifestyle until I saw Senator Adeleke. He jumped and screamed. He turned around and squatted. His eyes bulging like one in a haze and really enjoying himself. But the bobo can dance sha. I like him o, he followed the rhythm and in all these, his cap did not fall off his big head o, this was professionalism in full display. I am so excited that he won and would be heading to the Senate with this mind-set. We take ourselves too seriously in this country and it is time for us to relax and have fun and the senator is leading the way with this wonderful dance. Abeg carry go sir, let Owambe lead the way to a national rebirth.

Lagos Floods and the Lone Boat Man
Although we in Shomolu were not affected by the recent rains and flooding that took over most of the island, we still had our own small share of leaking roofs and overflowing drainages. What we saw and heard about the wreckage that happened on the island was no child’s play. We were inundated with pictures and clips of different flooding episodes. People’s living rooms totally taken over by flood, whole streets and neighbourhoods turned into lagoons and oceans with sea faring large cargo ships sailing through some neighbourhoods like VGC where a full US warship passed through on its way to the Korean peninsula. It was not funny my people o, the rich people on the island were suddenly turned into destitute watching their expensive furniture and cars floating away right before their very eyes. It was really sad. Some people woke up in other people’s bedrooms o, I tell you. Someone actually saw himself on his neighbour’s housemaid’s bed, the water had dragged him there without his knowledge. But in all these, my real anger was with that lone boat man rowing his boat on Ahmadu Bello way. This thing pain me no be small. At first I thought it was a clip of a beach resort in Mexico that I was looking at until I saw the Silverbird galleria and suddenly realised that it was our own Victoria Island turned into an estuary of the Atlantic Ocean. This foreigner rowed his boat so casually down the length and breadth of the road even past the junction I usually buy suya with no care in the world. This person was basically laughing at us, at our ineptitude and our eagerness to allow our inefficient and corrupt ways get the better of us with such avoidable calamities. That man must be identified and arrested. He must be tried and convicted for laughing at us. Who gave him the permission to row that boat on our street or should I say newly formed temporary canals. I don’t even know who to blame for this flooding wahala. From Donald trump who does not believe in climate change, to the people who are sand filling everywhere to sell land that is in high demand, to those who have turned their drainage into dustbins. All have sinned and that is why water is taking up everywhere and rendering our people homeless and hapless. I think it is time for us to go back to our gods. Sacrifices will have to be made to appease the water gods or by this time next year, it may be a deluge.

Aviation Safety: Ooni of Ife Style
The internet is a lovely place. Another video which has caught my attention is the one showing the great Ooni of Ife carrying out his own safety measures. You know how it is when the flight is about to take off and the sweet young nubile flight attendants will stand in front of you asking you to fasten your seat belt and tell you where to jump to if the plane was dropping into the sea. The Ooni and his team did not really have time for that one o, they got a priest in full regalia complete with bald head to carry out safety precautions the traditional style. The man with the gourds in both hands went up and down the aisle chanting incantations and checking all components of the plane traditionally to ensure a safe trip for the highly respected king. It was very hilarious and I wished I was on the flight, I would have also stripped to my boxer shorts, dabbed a little bit of palm oil on my forehead and moved from my economy seat into the business class with the hope that all the incantations and rituals would make me invisible as I sit and wallow in the luxury that is a business-class travel. Na wa.

Etisalat Nigeria – A Bitter Lesson
Let me tell you guys what I have learnt from the ongoing wahala with Etisalat. I have learnt that blood is thicker than water. All these our people who will just be running around to go get foreign partners to do things when they can do them reliably better with local investors always have themselves to blame. You see now, the Arabs who owned about 40% of the company are withdrawing and not only that, have given them just three weeks to stop using their brand name. What is a partnership if it is not to withstand storms like this? Why would they jump out at the very first sign of trouble and this has led me to the question that apart from their names, what exactly did they really bring to the table from the outset?  We have been taken for fools, they come with their highfalutin names which mean nothing but our bankers, the demagogues that they are will be falling over themselves to form empty consortiums to lend them money. Can you imagine the sheer quantum of funds involved, poor people’s money o and if you owe them N2,000 the kind of recovery agents they will unleash on you ehn, you will regret. So these vultures mobilise funds from our grassroots people, sell their services to the same grassroots people and take revenues generated from the grassroots people and pay back the same loans and keep a good spread for themselves. Making money out of nothing. What do we get in return, they employ some of us and we are dancing, their partners also get a small part of the cake and they too are happy.  Now the bubble has burst they have run away leaving their big-headed partners alone with an empty sack to face creditors and regulators. This is what we used to call in the University of Ibadan  mumu 101.  We are just a country of n………. let me don’t talk. We are watching as the whole thing unfolds and will continue to comment and hope that our business leaders and indeed political leaders will learn from this saga.  I have dumped my Etisalat line, the thing don kuku stop to work.

How Not to be a Role Model
In my life I have been influenced by some great people. People like Akin Kekere Ekun and much more recently Gabriel Ogbechie. These two people and a smattering of others have continued to show me that hard work and integrity remain the footstool of enduring success. In trying to build my career and my person, I strive to live by the ideals I have learnt from not only these two great men but others that I have passed through. However same cannot be said of some others who have shown a great sense of disloyalty and dishonesty not only to me but also to the society. My people, there is nothing better than being forthright, nothing better than being a man of your words and despite the challenges that are besetting us in life especially  the harsh economic climate, one needs to continue to stand forth and be counted as a pillar in society. That is my plan and my pledge to my son who has been watching my every dealing and action with a keen eye. This advice I will like to give to others who we see  as role models and father figures to always remember that their actions and indeed inactions impact and influence those of us who look up to them for leadership. Let me keep quiet at this point even as I restate my continued loyalty and love to all those who I consider my role models. Abeg, nobody should call and ask for explanations o, na just idle talk.