Yetunde Adeshile: My Husband Almost Passed Out While I Was in Labour

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Would you have been with another man?

There is no way I’ll marry another man for any reason. God gave me the right man.

How did you leave Nigeria to study in the UK at the age of eight?

All my education has been attained in the UK since the age of eight. Leaving Nigeria at that age was definitely one of the most life-changing experiences that I have ever had. Even to date. Leaving behind my mother and some relatives in Nigeria one night and the next evening I was in a boarding house full of white people and one other black girl a year my senior. I can assure you it was not funny, quite strange for me really. My first degree is in Social Policy and Management. I also have a post-graduate and masters in Business Administration. I’m a professional project management consultant and a full member of the Association for Project Management. I have professional certification in APM, Prince 2, Managing Successful Programme, ITiL, Programme and Project Office Management at the very least. I am a certified public speaker and life coach. I am a certified ministry leader and recently completed my diploma in Youth Ministry with the Redeemed Christian Church of God.

Can you share your boarding school experience with us?

When I first arrived at boarding not fully understanding that I was actually going to be staying there without my mum made me cry – and emotionally unstable. I remember I hardly spoke to anyone in my room. They were all white and their English was definitely different from mine. There seemed to be something different about them all. Apart from colour, that is.  Breakfast time was really strange; all I could eat was toast. There was no yam and egg. Bacon, sausage, and what seems like half-cooked eggs with baked beans were food I was not used to – but that was breakfast. Lunch; for many weeks I didn’t each much because if there wasn’t rice, chicken or beef on the menu, I wasn’t having it. It was the same for dinner.

I remember that every Sunday we had to write to our parents telling them about our experience for the week. The minimum pages were two sides for me, as it was no more than two lines: ‘Dear Dad, I don’t know why I am here. Please come and get me. I really don’t like it here. From your daughter, Yetunde.’ As time went on, I made some friends and started to eat more of the food and gradually acclimatised. It got to a stage that my letters to my father were about four to five pages.  Looking back, I know my parents did the best for me at the time and for that I am truly grateful.  I left the school at the age of 16 and appreciate the opportunities it gave to me.

What led you to youth-centric writing, public speaking and consultancy in the United Kingdom?

Youth ministry has always been my passion; also, looking out for those younger than me and wanting the best for them, sometimes at a sacrifice. I wrote the ‘Youth Evolution’ because I wanted parents to be more aware of the factors surrounding raising a successful child in today’s world.  I got into public speaking first as a preacher in the church, then as a Master of Ceremony. Parties were never really my thing, so realising that I have a real message for the world, I started public speaking. I have a voice and I want to use it to positively impact on lives to the glory of God. As an undergraduate, I wanted to go into human resources. After graduation, that became really challenging to achieve. Project management was just kicking off in the UK then, so I delved into it. It presented me opportunities to do human resource and a lot more. With all my experience and knowledge, I can help any organisation to achieve its desired outcome – any organisation will include ministries and companies.

 

How did you get to become an author, social crusader and consultant?

Every skill and knowledge set was built over many years. I like to challenge myself every year to do new and greater things. I think the social aspect has always been in me though. Being in the UK may have been a contributing factor, but I think I got the initial trait from my parents. I do well in managing all these together but now that demand is extending in all directions, I believe I will choose the social aspects. Remember that I did not start out as jack of all trades. I have simply acquired these diverse skills set over the years.

How did you cut your teeth in publishing and what influenced your thematic choice in the book titled, ‘The Youth Evolution’?

I got into publishing my own book because I was looking for a platform to reach more people across the world with my knowledge.  I felt that writing the book would help parents and youths in today’s modern world to focus for success. I’m glad that the purpose for the book has been achieved.

Do you think Nigerians particularly at this crucial time of their life will be willing to buy the services you’ve brought back home?

This is the best time for Nigerians to embrace what I have to offer. I am not offering a service. I am offering a solution to the many challenges that Nigeria has today.

Did you ever work in the UK?

Yes. I worked in the UK across many organisations both in the public and private sector. I’ve worked for organisations such as Mott MacDonalds, Transport for London, 2012 London Olympics and I’m currently consulting on high-profile United Kingdom government projects.

Why did you return to Nigeria leaving enticing fortunes you could garner in the UK?

Nigeria is my father’s land that is currently crying out for help. I’m proud and glad to be part of the army selected by God to return home as a catalyst for the solution to the cry for help.

How expensive is it to get a life coach?

That would need to be defined by the person with the challenge. It’s not about the money you pay, it’s about the solution you get.

What would you be doing differently from the many life coaches in the country?

I pride myself in doing whatever it takes (within legal boundaries) to achieve the results that have been agreed. People who know me well know that I am results-driven.

What was your earliest career fantasy?

To help young people get into work, career and business. Seems there is more to it than that.

 

Did you ever make a detour and why?

Yes. I wanted a stable career and I didn’t think I could get one following my dreams until I got coached a few years ago.

How do you feel being a celebrated and award-winning author of ‘The Youth Evolution’?

Fantastic. The experience is one that I cannot describe. The award came at a time I wasn’t really sure about what I had done. The award gave me the motivation, which also proved that I had done the right thing.

 

You were recently nominated for the back to black awards. How do you feel being recognised for exceptional service amongst black community in the United Kingdom?

Completely shocked and overjoyed. The nomination is for the top 20 youth advocates in the black community. There are a lot of great black leaders doing a lot for the black community. I have a lot of respect for them. So, to be nominated as one of the top 20 is amazing and I am truly grateful to God for all he has done.

 

When did you start the ‘Next chosen generation’ and for what peculiar reasons did you start the initiative?

I started the ‘next chosen generation’ in July 2014 after I received an instruction from God to do so. Though God had asked me to make this move about eight months before that time, I was challenged by the idea and tried to find excuses for not doing it well until God put me in a corner and I had to surrender. I am forever grateful for the privilege that God has given me.

 

How has it been working with young people across the world?

Absolutely, out of this world! I have so much fun that sometimes they have to remind me of my age. I learn from them and they learn from me. The journey has turned me into a better mother to my children and probably a better wife to my husband as well.

 

What have been the high point, challenge and fulfilment since you started?

The high point for me has always been to see the transformation in attitude, dressing and mannerism of the young people. The Challenges has been the work that leads to this transformation, the law that governs my work and the lack of funds occasionally. I am always fulfilled at the end of sessions of teaching, especially when there is indication that it has gone really well.

Do you feel fulfilled doing what you do now?

Absolutely.

How does it feel to be sought after as a prominent African public speaker in the UK?

I feel really humbled and honoured.

You been frequent in Nigeria lately, are you collaborating with some big names in the public speaking and consultancy industry?

Well, that would be telling. All I can say is watch the space and I am open for internal business collaborations.

Who’s the most exciting and inspirational person you’ve met through your job?

That is a really a touchy question as I now move in the midst of groups. All I can say is there are a lot of gifted and talented people out there and more are coming up. We are inspirers who do exceptionally well in what we do

 

What have you gained through meeting them?

There is always a lesson to learn. You have to keep learning and developing, so you don’t get left behind.

What do you say to youths struggling with low self-esteem?  

Just be yourself. Focus on what you can do (even if it’s just one thing); do it very well as you start to develop in other areas. Always do good things.

 

What kind of childhood did you have?

A great one for the circumstances; I know it could have been better.

Are there fond memories you still hold?

Yes, loads. School achievements, graduation (never seen my mum so proud to be my mum), wedding day, giving birth to my children, holding my first published book in my hands, getting nominated for awards and winning awards. I am truly blessed.

How did you meet your husband?

We met in church. We were both in the choir and in the youth growth group. We were both youth leaders.

 

How do you juggle being a career woman, mother and wife of a musician?

My husband and I understand our priorities and most of what it’s going to take for us to achieve our goals so we work together. Now the children are older, it’s become a bit easier. I guess it all boils down to planning, excellent execution, determination and focus on the main things.

How does it feel being married to a musician?

It is great, but can often be challenging at times. However, we always find a way to make every challenge worthwhile.

When did he propose and how did he do it?

I think he knew he had found everything he wanted in a woman whilst working together. He said he wanted a relationship. I said the only relationship I’m interested in is the one that leads to a life-time commitment and here we are today.

When did he propose?

It was one early morning. I had cooked him dinner the night before. He woke and proposed. I actually thought he was joking, so I said ‘yes.’ The next thing I knew, we were planning our wedding.

How would you describe him in five words?

Exceptionally loving, caring, understanding and patient.

What is his relationship with the children?

He has a good relationship with the children but I know that they’ve had their differences which were resolved.

What lessons have you learnt in marriage?

Love, real love is what makes it all work; and the word of God, commitment and sacrifice.

Have there been points in life you said why did I even marry?

Yes. Marriage is not the easiest journey. I said that a lot during the early days. There was a lot more I needed to learn than I bargained for; probably the same with him.

Who offends who the most?

I probably commit most of the offences.

 

When he gets you angry, what is that magic word that he whispers? 

He doesn’t whisper anything but he has his way of making up. Let’s just say actions speak louder than words.

Does he take you out often?

Yes, he sure does.

What memorable moments do you share with hubby?

Our first weekend break to Paris without the children since we started having children. It was really magical to be on our own even though we missed the children a lot.

Was he with you when you had your first child?

Yes. Where else would he have been? I think he handled it worse than me. I remember the nurse telling him that she thought he was going to pass out whilst I was in labour.

Do you feel fulfilled in marriage?

100 per cent fulfilled.

Would you have been with another man?

No way. God gave me the right man.

What are your greatest fears?

None anymore; the only fear I have now is the fear of God. No one is greater than Him.

What five things would you never go out without?

My hand band, mobile phone, a book, cash/credit cards and information about where I am going.

 

Are there books you read that defined who you are today?

I have defined myself, but I have read books that have helped me to get to where I am today.

What’s your definition of style?

Style is doing you and with all confidence.

Have you ever committed any embarrassing cooking blunder?

Yes, too many, especially when I began to cook Nigerian food.

 

If you get a second chance, is there anything you would like to do differently in life?

I would have got myself a life coach as early in life as possible. This would have made my journey a bit easier.

The depth in her voice; the glimmer in her eyes and the grace of her gait are signpost of her gifted and undeniable power of oratory. Yetunde  Adeshile is  Nigerian-born British orator, public speaker, trained life coach, author, and social crusader. A powerful speaker, who weaves and spins words into great tapestries of art, memorialises events with dignity and solemnity they deserve. Her words have moved those in dire straits to shed tears, to laugh in triumph, to recommit to virtue, change their life, or become patriotic. With great speeches, she motivates souls, fights injustice, battle off tyranny, and champions worthy causes. Having worked with many organisations in both private and public sectors in the United Kingdom, she is currently consulting on the UK Brexit projects. She shares her exhilarating experience with Adedayo Adejobi about her sojourn in the UK at the age of eight, what it feels to be married to an exceptionally loving, caring, understanding, and patient man

• Weekend Break to Paris with My Husband Was Magical

• I Was Alone in the UK at Age Eight

• I Made Embarrassing Blunders Trying to Cook Nigerian Food

• Being Married to a Musician is Challenging and Worthwhile

Would you have been with another man?

There is no way I’ll marry another man for any reason. God gave me the right man.

How did you leave Nigeria to study in the UK at the age of eight?

All my education has been attained in the UK since the age of eight. Leaving Nigeria at that age was definitely one of the most life-changing experiences that I have ever had. Even to date. Leaving behind my mother and some relatives in Nigeria one night and the next evening I was in a boarding house full of white people and one other black girl a year my senior. I can assure you it was not funny, quite strange for me really. My first degree is in Social Policy and Management. I also have a post-graduate and masters in Business Administration. I’m a professional project management consultant and a full member of the Association for Project Management. I have professional certification in APM, Prince 2, Managing Successful Programme, ITiL, Programme and Project Office Management at the very least. I am a certified public speaker and life coach. I am a certified ministry leader and recently completed my diploma in Youth Ministry with the Redeemed Christian Church of God.

Can you share your boarding school experience with us?

When I first arrived at boarding not fully understanding that I was actually going to be staying there without my mum made me cry – and emotionally unstable. I remember I hardly spoke to anyone in my room. They were all white and their English was definitely different from mine. There seemed to be something different about them all. Apart from colour, that is.  Breakfast time was really strange; all I could eat was toast. There was no yam and egg. Bacon, sausage, and what seems like half-cooked eggs with baked beans were food I was not used to – but that was breakfast. Lunch; for many weeks I didn’t each much because if there wasn’t rice, chicken or beef on the menu, I wasn’t having it. It was the same for dinner.

I remember that every Sunday we had to write to our parents telling them about our experience for the week. The minimum pages were two sides for me, as it was no more than two lines: ‘Dear Dad, I don’t know why I am here. Please come and get me. I really don’t like it here. From your daughter, Yetunde.’ As time went on, I made some friends and started to eat more of the food and gradually acclimatised. It got to a stage that my letters to my father were about four to five pages.  Looking back, I know my parents did the best for me at the time and for that I am truly grateful.  I left the school at the age of 16 and appreciate the opportunities it gave to me.

What led you to youth-centric writing, public speaking and consultancy in the United Kingdom?

Youth ministry has always been my passion; also, looking out for those younger than me and wanting the best for them, sometimes at a sacrifice. I wrote the ‘Youth Evolution’ because I wanted parents to be more aware of the factors surrounding raising a successful child in today’s world.  I got into public speaking first as a preacher in the church, then as a Master of Ceremony. Parties were never really my thing, so realising that I have a real message for the world, I started public speaking. I have a voice and I want to use it to positively impact on lives to the glory of God. As an undergraduate, I wanted to go into human resources. After graduation, that became really challenging to achieve. Project management was just kicking off in the UK then, so I delved into it. It presented me opportunities to do human resource and a lot more. With all my experience and knowledge, I can help any organisation to achieve its desired outcome – any organisation will include ministries and companies.

How did you get to become an author, social crusader and consultant?

Every skill and knowledge set was built over many years. I like to challenge myself every year to do new and greater things. I think the social aspect has always been in me though. Being in the UK may have been a contributing factor, but I think I got the initial trait from my parents. I do well in managing all these together but now that demand is extending in all directions, I believe I will choose the social aspects. Remember that I did not start out as jack of all trades. I have simply acquired these diverse skills set over the years.

How did you cut your teeth in publishing and what influenced your thematic choice in the book titled, ‘The Youth Evolution’?

I got into publishing my own book because I was looking for a platform to reach more people across the world with my knowledge.  I felt that writing the book would help parents and youths in today’s modern world to focus for success. I’m glad that the purpose for the book has been achieved.

Do you think Nigerians particularly at this crucial time of their life will be willing to buy the services you’ve brought back home?

This is the best time for Nigerians to embrace what I have to offer. I am not offering a service. I am offering a solution to the many challenges that Nigeria has today.

Did you ever work in the UK?

Yes. I worked in the UK across many organisations both in the public and private sector. I’ve worked for organisations such as Mott MacDonalds, Transport for London, 2012 London Olympics and I’m currently consulting on high-profile United Kingdom government projects.

Why did you return to Nigeria leaving enticing fortunes you could garner in the UK?

Nigeria is my father’s land that is currently crying out for help. I’m proud and glad to be part of the army selected by God to return home as a catalyst for the solution to the cry for help.

How expensive is it to get a life coach?

That would need to be defined by the person with the challenge. It’s not about the money you pay, it’s about the solution you get.

What would you be doing differently from the many life coaches in the country?

I pride myself in doing whatever it takes (within legal boundaries) to achieve the results that have been agreed. People who know me well know that I am results-driven.

What was your earliest career fantasy?

To help young people get into work, career and business. Seems there is more to it than that.

Did you ever make a detour and why?

Yes. I wanted a stable career and I didn’t think I could get one following my dreams until I got coached a few years ago.

How do you feel being a celebrated and award-winning author of ‘The Youth Evolution’?

Fantastic. The experience is one that I cannot describe. The award came at a time I wasn’t really sure about what I had done. The award gave me the motivation, which also proved that I had done the right thing.

You were recently nominated for the back to black awards. How do you feel being recognised for exceptional service amongst black community in the United Kingdom?

Completely shocked and overjoyed. The nomination is for the top 20 youth advocates in the black community. There are a lot of great black leaders doing a lot for the black community. I have a lot of respect for them. So, to be nominated as one of the top 20 is amazing and I am truly grateful to God for all he has done.

When did you start the ‘Next chosen generation’ and for what peculiar reasons did you start the initiative?

I started the ‘next chosen generation’ in July 2014 after I received an instruction from God to do so. Though God had asked me to make this move about eight months before that time, I was challenged by the idea and tried to find excuses for not doing it well until God put me in a corner and I had to surrender. I am forever grateful for the privilege that God has given me.

How has it been working with young people across the world?

Absolutely, out of this world! I have so much fun that sometimes they have to remind me of my age. I learn from them and they learn from me. The journey has turned me into a better mother to my children and probably a better wife to my husband as well.

What have been the high point, challenge and fulfilment since you started?

The high point for me has always been to see the transformation in attitude, dressing and mannerism of the young people. The Challenges has been the work that leads to this transformation, the law that governs my work and the lack of funds occasionally. I am always fulfilled at the end of sessions of teaching, especially when there is indication that it has gone really well.

Do you feel fulfilled doing what you do now?

Absolutely.

How does it feel to be sought after as a prominent African public speaker in the UK?

I feel really humbled and honoured.

You been frequent in Nigeria lately, are you collaborating with some big names in the public speaking and consultancy industry?

Well, that would be telling. All I can say is watch the space and I am open for internal business collaborations.

Who’s the most exciting and inspirational person you’ve met through your job?

That is a really a touchy question as I now move in the midst of groups. All I can say is there are a lot of gifted and talented people out there and more are coming up. We are inspirers who do exceptionally well in what we do

What have you gained through meeting them?

There is always a lesson to learn. You have to keep learning and developing, so you don’t get left behind.

What do you say to youths struggling with low self-esteem?  

Just be yourself. Focus on what you can do (even if it’s just one thing); do it very well as you start to develop in other areas. Always do good things.

What kind of childhood did you have?

A great one for the circumstances; I know it could have been better.

Are there fond memories you still hold?

Yes, loads. School achievements, graduation (never seen my mum so proud to be my mum), wedding day, giving birth to my children, holding my first published book in my hands, getting nominated for awards and winning awards. I am truly blessed.

How did you meet your husband?

We met in church. We were both in the choir and in the youth growth group. We were both youth leaders.

How do you juggle being a career woman, mother and wife of a musician?

My husband and I understand our priorities and most of what it’s going to take for us to achieve our goals so we work together. Now the children are older, it’s become a bit easier. I guess it all boils down to planning, excellent execution, determination and focus on the main things.

How does it feel being married to a musician?

It is great, but can often be challenging at times. However, we always find a way to make every challenge worthwhile.

When did he propose and how did he do it?

I think he knew he had found everything he wanted in a woman whilst working together. He said he wanted a relationship. I said the only relationship I’m interested in is the one that leads to a life-time commitment and here we are today.

When did he propose?

It was one early morning. I had cooked him dinner the night before. He woke and proposed. I actually thought he was joking, so I said ‘yes.’ The next thing I knew, we were planning our wedding.

How would you describe him in five words?

Exceptionally loving, caring, understanding and patient.

What is his relationship with the children?

He has a good relationship with the children but I know that they’ve had their differences which were resolved.

What lessons have you learnt in marriage?

Love, real love is what makes it all work; and the word of God, commitment and sacrifice.

Have there been points in life you said why did I even marry?

Yes. Marriage is not the easiest journey. I said that a lot during the early days. There was a lot more I needed to learn than I bargained for; probably the same with him.

Who offends who the most?

I probably commit most of the offences.

When he gets you angry, what is that magic word that he whispers? 

He doesn’t whisper anything but he has his way of making up. Let’s just say actions speak louder than words.

Does he take you out often?

Yes, he sure does.

What memorable moments do you share with hubby?

Our first weekend break to Paris without the children since we started having children. It was really magical to be on our own even though we missed the children a lot.

Was he with you when you had your first child?

Yes. Where else would he have been? I think he handled it worse than me. I remember the nurse telling him that she thought he was going to pass out whilst I was in labour.

Do you feel fulfilled in marriage?

100 per cent fulfilled.

Would you have been with another man?

No way. God gave me the right man.

What are your greatest fears?

None anymore; the only fear I have now is the fear of God. No one is greater than Him.

What five things would you never go out without?

My hand band, mobile phone, a book, cash/credit cards and information about where I am going.

Are there books you read that defined who you are today?

I have defined myself, but I have read books that have helped me to get to where I am today.

What’s your definition of style?

Style is doing you and with all confidence.

Have you ever committed any embarrassing cooking blunder?

Yes, too many, especially when I began to cook Nigerian food.

If you get a second chance, is there anything you would like to do differently in life?

I would have got myself a life coach as early in life as possible. This would have made my journey a bit easier.