AKPAKOMIZA AND OTHER STORIES
PAUL C NWABUIKWU writes that Okpebholo’s negative image is largely self-inflicted
His Excellency, the Executive Governor of Edo State, Mr Monday Okpebholo approaches the routine task of making public speeches with all the wariness of a hyena who stumbled into lion territory.
For some reason, the remarkable fellow who revels in the nickname “Akpakomiza” finds it difficult to say something nice about his own government’s policies, programmes and projects, especially when the nice things are contained in a speech. Whenever he attempts to, his face betrays his fear and his body language suggests that he may be in the throes of premature rigor mortis as he stumbles through the forest of words. For those in the audience, watching Okpebholo perform at the podium can be excruciating. One cannot but share in his pain. You pray for him to find the strength to hurry up and conclude so that the ordeal you are sharing with him can come to end.
Public service can be tough but the kind of stuff Okpebholo regularly goes through during his public outings, sometimes on live television broadcasts, deserves to be outlawed under the Anti-Torture Act of 2017 as unjustifiable cruel and unusual punishment.
Some might argue that no one forced the governor to contest for a position which involves lots of speech making, so His Excellency is, as we say in these parts, on his own. After all, the position also comes with many perks including control over trillions of state funds from FAAC and internally generated revenue, long convoys and sycophants attending to his every whim. So it is not all that bad. That may be true but what about his poor audience?
Social media is full of Okpebholo’s clangers, complete with viral videos. In September 2024, he announced at a governorship campaign event that he would “provide you (Edo residents) with insecurity”. His embarrassed godfather, former Edo governor Adams Oshiomhole, who was also on the podium, quickly intervened to correct him. While the mistake could be interpreted as an understandable spur of the moment error, it is not so easy to explain what happened in February this year when Okpebholo struggled to scale a mountain composed of four capital letters. On that day, the governor found it difficult to get his lips around the abbreviation GCFR (Grand Commander of the Federal Republic), the national honour suffix that accompanies President Bola Tinubu’s name in official documents and recognitions. Four letters. Not four words. Not four sentences. Mind-boggling.
But what might be described as the classic “Akpakomiza” moment happened in December 2024. While presenting the state’s N605 billion annual budget to the house of assembly, His Excellency lost his bearings, wandered deep into enemy territory and ended up in a minefield full of familiar and unfamiliar terrors. Inside the budget address he was handed by an obsequious aide were not only the usual troublesome letters of the English alphabet but also hostile mathematical figures and symbols, accompanied by endless zeros. Okpebholo was stumped, unable to proceed after a few uncertain steps.
He proceeded to inform the audience that the budget details were “confusing me” after several unsuccessful attempts to get through the speech. The governor’s actions that day is in the same category as the famous statement by Second Republic Kano governor Sabo Bakin Zuwo that the state is blessed with “minerals” like Coca Cola.
At the human level, it’s difficult not to sympathize with the governor. It must be traumatic to have to confront your weaknesses in public view over and over again.
Given the public symptoms, I have wondered if Okpebholo suffers from a debilitating form of glossophobia or performance-based Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) which experts say affects up to 75% of the global population. At its worst, the ailment can lead to a total neurological and physical shutdown in certain situations: quickened heart rate, shaking hands, dry mouth as the mind goes blank. Like many ailments, the causes range from the biological to the genetic to the social. Perhaps someone close to His Excellency should give him a nudge in a medical direction?
His challenges notwithstanding, we cannot forget that Okpebholo is a big man, a whole governor, not an anonymous scared speech maker. He is a very fortunate man who is enjoying the good fortune of being adopted by the right godfathers at the right points of his political journey. And the good fortune had showed up soon after his birth in 1970 when he acquired the formidable nickname “Akpakomiza” which, according to Google, “translates to a symbol of resilience, doggedness, an unbeatable spirit, and victory through tough times.” The governor’s triumph against two better known and more respected politicians – Asue Ighodalo of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and Olumide Akpata of Labour Party in the last governorship polls is proof that his prophesied knack for victory through tough times is still very potent.
On the flip side, it is also true that Okpebholo’s negative image is largely self-inflicted, not because of his gaffes. There is a widespread perception that he is an underperformer with an unfortunate talent for putting his foot in his mouth. Based on media coverage (including viral videos tracking Okpebholo’s non-speech gaffes), Edo people don’t think much of him as a governor. Over the past two weeks, the rains have exposed the terrible state of federal and state roads in Edo State, further undermining any claims that he is delivering on his promise to transform the state. His constant and shameless efforts to stay on the right side of the Villa – which have included making the wearing of the signature Tinubu cap compulsory for commissioners and other members of his cabinet during meetings – must be embarrassing even for the President.
All in all, Akpakomiza’s well known battle with the English language is a much lesser problem than what his words and actions when he is not making speeches.
Nwabuikwu is a member of THISDAY Editorial Board
