2Baba: A Legend Demystified

They say that the lion is the king of the jungle. Whoever said that na big mumu. In the jungle, the king, or should I say queen, is a woman. Anybody who doesn’t fear women will die a very painful death after having been castrated.

Before the women defenders and women themselves come at me, because they say I hate women, which is very preposterous, because I am an affirmed polygamist – they should go and carry their member Natasha oooo.

How do you cause the arrest of a legend? You slap legend, pour legend spit, scratch his body and now make legend forget the lyrics to his evergreen song, ‘African Queen.’

Now legend is not looking or sounding like legend again o. Legend is looking like a cat that has been poured water on its head. The clip in which he came out to beg everybody to “ceasefire” was an exercise on how not to marry the wrong woman.

2Baba’s life is at risk, and his family needs to step in and do something before we start to do tribute night. A man cannot be going through this level of trauma without something giving.

They will say, as you lay your bed…… I no gree. Once they have opened their legs, very few men can turn their back. People like me do not know how to resist, but we used to go in with prayers. Oh Lord, you know you made me a man, and you made me weak when it comes to things of the open thighs, as I am about to dive in, kindly guide and protect me, because only you can save me from the hands of this barracuda if she decides to devour me. That is the prayer that I used to pray very silently before I take the plunge, and that is the prayer that I beg all men to be praying before you put your head in between those beautiful legs.

See, the dangers of unbridled womanising go beyond STDs. I tell you if you lick the wrong “thing,” you will see HIV and beg for it to catch you. I swear you will beg for hepatitis instead of the ravages of a Delilah, the type our Legend seems to have gotten himself entangled with.

He needs prayers. Thank you.