Why Do We Love The People We Love?

The renaissance of love poetry could be perceived as the response to outcries about the deteriorating state of the genre—poets have been accused of ditching love poems to rot in hell of who knows where, except for few who, despite the tedious intricacies of writing love poems, the poor audience, have remained true to the art. However, there’s a shift recently in the involvement of poets in conversations surrounding the theme.

 Love, a multi-faceted term can be viewed in so many ways, experienced, and relished differently, leave poets with an abundance to write. It is out of this abundance that Elizabeth Akinsehinwa decided to serve a sumptuous-pungent perspective in her poetry collection “Filtered Love.” 

Filtered Love, a collection of 27 poems, takes us through the journey of hesitation, social change, doubt, and the complexity that comes with falling in and out of love. Elizabeth pours herself in whole into every poem and thought. 

Love has almost become a broken record. It carries power that has been used in a variety of ways—a weapon for both war and peace—depending on interest. It is a concept so vast that I believe it is mystics, little wonder, sometimes no matter the toxicity in a love affair, the victim remains in such abusive relationship. It was Rumi that said “reason is powerless in the expression of Love.” 

It then makes sense why, despite the chaos and hesitation and doubt it always becomes a complex thing for someone to take a stand. Should we say then that love is fair? Elizabeth writes about the fairness of love: Love isn’t fair; it doesn’t keep scores it leans into trust and yet asks for more

To let go of the need to be perfectly aligned in a relationship, to become vulnerable and still crawl back to one’s vomit, is a concept that is hard to grasp.

 But here is a chapbook that exposes us to two forms of love—love as mystery, and divine. An instance on the mystery of love is captured in the poem “Imperfection” where the persona confesses to the beauty that grows from the flaws of its supposed lover, and grace that is manifested in the most dreaded places. 

This is quite an irony. Yet, it is the beauty of being in love. It is what gives colour to any great love story. Because it doesn’t just become a great story, but one manifested in truth, and sincerity of the heart.

On the divinity of love, poems in the collection like “Shadows” reminds me of the epic story of Jesus and the woman who was accused of adultery in the gospel of John 8:3-11. Elizabeth tells it differently in a more condensing way to fit the realities of the present world:

Little old sins piled into a thick wall of guilt… 

And let the one without sin 

Be the first to cast a stone 

And no one else was left 

But you and I

How beautiful it is to find a love that is selfless, a love that says “I do not condemn you either” and opens it arms for a warm embrace, a love that is Yielding to the calling of companionship. 

However, we must be cautioned of the fact that to be in love (of whatsoever kind) is not a dilly-dally. The last poem in the collection captures this well:

Let them have the world 

As long as we have each other 

We can be free of the burden of their actions 

And focus on getting our tie stronger…

It goes beyond hesitation and any form of doubt because it is the bone marrow of a shared bond. A bond that becomes deaf to the chaos of the world, negative narratives, and stereotypes. 

“Filtered Love” is an aphoristic collection of stories that calls for a melancholic reflection on the priorities we set for ourselves on emotional narratives. It poses the question: how can I become less condescending in a place endangered by so much hate and selfishness? It offers us stories that are beyond the desires of sexual gratification, but stories packed with the lessons of giving oneself completely to a course without the expectation of reciprocity. It asks us who we choose to love and why we love the people we love.

 Elizabeth gave herself completely into writing each poem, with carefully refine lines and simple language—a reflection of the idea of love the chapbook teaches.

Iliya Kambai Dennis is a poet from Kaduna. He has been published/forthcoming in CON-SCIO, The MUSE, Salamander Ink Magazine, Feral: A Journal of Poetry and Art, Serotonin, Konya Shamsrumi, and elsewhere. He explores the themes of sensuality, loss, healing, identity, and anything in between beauty and ruins.