It was last Wednesday evening, I was about to bury my head in a hot bowl of water with garlic, ginger, and aboniki balm when the call came. It was my friend Edi Lawani who said Edgar, it Is not the ginger or the garlic, it is the steam. Nothing I have not heard. Nigerians are just doing everything possible to stay alive.
Well, that is how the phone kept ringing and I picked. The voice said, is that the Duke of Shomolu, I say yes. Hoping it was not NCDC. My son had just passed the COVID-19 test and I was hoping they were not calling to say the wrong result like they have been doing in some cases. I said yes oh it is me and he said I have a message from His Excellency Governor Sanwo-Olu on the passing of your mother.
Kai, I jump up. I was naked as in stark naked, na Eddie say for the thing to work I must be naked with my balls hanging out. I say sorry sir, what did you say and he say I have a message for you from His Excellency. Now guys listen: in this my small life I have received calls from governor before o. Ambode has called me twice but this one touch me because I yab the man during election. I say he wear labu-labu trouser and I say I stand for Ambode. Even a day before I don yab am for TheCable asking him what is happening in Lagos with COVID-19. So this call touch me.
Call it anything, he touch me. I then remember that duchess was beside me and he go dey look down on me, so I put the phone on speaker and say, “Ehn, what were you saying?” and the man repeat and duchess shout kai. Tell him we need palliative oh. I ignore. I say please help me greet His Excellency, tell him that my head is swelling and that my mother’s last words were “God bless Sanwo-Olu.” He laughed and said he will convey the message. I say thank you so so much for this call because it came at the right time.
You see my egbon Bode for Duke Summit had just called me an embarrassment who has lost relevance as a result of my position on some issues on the WhatsApp group. So His Excellency calling me a few hours after really gave me a boost because that statement got to me. Anyway, life must continue. We move. Thanks, your Excellency. Let me even ask, have you ever eaten afang before? Let me send it to you.