Loud Whispers
I came across his campaign posters recently and for some time now his name has been coming and going in various discussions. My question this morning is the seriousness or otherwise of this candidate. It is not to rub powder and be taking pictures like someone entering the Big Brother Africa House, it’s to come out with a certainty as to what direction one is going. This would give followers and analysts like myself the sense of purpose to take a position. Donald Duke’s name has been floating around ever since he finished his second term in Calabar and for as long as I can remember all we have been getting is a not-so-sure positioning from him.
We recently formed a ‘’whatsapp’’ group of young professional minds who align with the middle-road philosophy. The Group is called, ‘’Duke’s platform’’, not his own Duke o, but the Duke of Shomolu. He was a part of the group at the initial stage and it was meant to be like a sounding board for him as he tried to penetrate a majority of the over 60 million Nigerians who throng the Internet daily. It was meant to be a focus group for him. As we speak, we have four Senators in the Group, many State Commissioners both serving and retired, a gubernatorial candidate, even his brother Pat Utomi is on the group and you can imagine the level of conversation in the group that also has retired Bank Directors and other such prominent Nigerians exchanging positions with youths eager to contribute. Our man never said a word and eventually left the group quietly. While I am not holding it against him as he retains the right of choosing those he would like to associate with, he should just come out and let us know what we are doing. Are we seeking a role in a new Nollywood block buster with all these fine boy posters or are we about to launch a clear and decisive push for the Presidency? Let me know on time o, so I know what to do. Meanwhile, I am hungry o, let me go chop some Afang and Fufu.
Munir Gwarzo vs Kemi Adeosun – Round One
I will not miss this match for anything. I reclined on the red couch in my office seeping a very cold bottle of Coca-cola waiting for the extravaganza to unfold. I watched very closely. As a capital market operator myself, I am interested in this battle of wits. Let me put it out there very quickly that Munir is a contemporary. We started our careers almost at the same time with the old Habib bank. He moved to become the DG of SEC while I moved to become the Duke of Shomolu. Before una laugh, take note that nobody can suspend me o. Well, today is for this match. Munir in white attire was first off the corner, shooting and jabbing at Kemi. He spoke stridently on all allegations made against him. On the appointments, he claimed to have gone through the Federal Character Commission.
He also denied having anything to do with any firm that was contracted to do supplies at the SEC. He was very confident and spoke like a man who had a point to prove. When it was kemi’s turn, she first waited to make sure her make-up was well in place. The woman fine sha. Didn’t know o. Did you see her eyes, quite luminous and her lips kai, she fine. She immediately handed over the platform to her Director of Legal. That one with his 14th-century suit went ahead with the legal processes that led to Munir’s suspension and he did an excellent job. I agreed with him that due procedure was taken. When the spotlight came back to the minister, kai she finished my man o. She first claimed victory with the fact that the market was the best performing in the world. She spoke of how she had ignored media reports but could no longer do that when she was confronted with hard facts including invoices and all. As she spoke, I just began to pity Munir. You cannot win a cat fight against a woman o.
Mrs Adeosun was clinical in her deposition and speaking with authority marshalled her points to a devastating effect. Kai, the woman brilliant, even though the British accent was coming and going, I could not laugh; this na serious national matter. The downside was some of the House committee members. Some of them were out of their depth asking strange questions which distracted us and almost turned the whole thing to a Nollywood film. But Munir and Kemi being very sharp gladiators kept on the excitement. I think Munir won this round though because at some point some committee members were not convinced as to the impartiality of the whole thing especially its timing with the Oando audit.
The second round is coming and if I know the minister very well, she will come out in a feisty manner determined to pin Munir down in a TKO. Kai, I pity my brother o. There is nothing God cannot do. I think Munir should immediately put together a cross-religious committee with membership from all known and unknown religions with Apostle Sulaiman if he can only just stop getting distracted with that sweet, young thing, to commence serious prayers on his behalf. Otherwise, we may not see Munir’s bones to pick in the next round. I have my popcorn and fizzy drink ready.
Wole Soyinka at the Ripples
I have just been informed that the Nobel Laureate, Professor Wole Soyinka, will be speaking at the Ripples colloquium in March. Ripples is an online news platform that is gradually growing in stature and influence. The great professor will be in the company of other prominent Nigerians as they look at the political terrain. I hope Obasanjo will not be anywhere near there because we all know how the professor will just be throwing big, big grammar anytime you mention that name. Me, I have booked my ticket and will be there. Thank you.
Clara Macaulay – A Damsel at 60
This elegant and beautiful sister-in-law will celebrate her 60th this Sunday. I have many wºonderful things to say about this sweet angel but I will keep them and say it on the day. You know I am the MC. But let me just say this, her kind heart and cool mien keep the family going even during tough times like the last passing of our daddy, Chief Patrick Mowete. I am using this opportunity to wish Mrs. Clara Macaulay a happy birthday and more beautiful years ahead. Uncle Jimmy, what is the plan o? Let me know on time so that we can prepare well. Congratulations ma and God bless you.
Command Elections – I Stand Down
A time comes when a man has to stand up for his principles, putting his personal interests aside for the long-term interest of on association. We had thrown our hat into the ring, seeking the mandate of the over 11,000 members of our great alumni association in our bid to use it as a pilot platform to deliver some socio-economic initiatives that would further cascade throughout the nation. The plan was to leverage on the ‘huge’’ population to deliver on an investment holding group, to raise capital, selling share units to our members. We would have raised N1b with which we would go into impact investing, creating jobs, redistributing wealth and ceding a portion of the profits to the alumni. We believed very strongly that the association could be transformed into a strong vehicle of national economic rebirth. The figures are staggering. If a 40-year-old school like Command with 11,000 members could build a road map to N1b, then you can now imagine what schools with a 100-year history could deliver.
We had even gone ahead to work with a software development firm in building an App that would ease collections and monitoring. Sadly we would have to temporarily shelve this dream as circumstances I would not want to mention at this point have forced us to stand down for the sake of peace and continuous unity of the association. We would not be contesting the February 11 election; a decision taken at the highest levels of our campaign organisation. As soon as the dust settles, I will release my campaign memoirs complete with the role each actor played in the whole episode for Nigerians to see and experience how the issues that bedevil our national politics continually follow us into sociocultural groupings. But till then, I wish my opponents well even as they commence the arduous task of rebuilding our great association. Long live Command, Long live Nigeria!
