Emir Lamido Sanusi : A Powerful Position

Loud Whispers

You see, me I don’t joke with this personality. He has continued to be my main man ever since I saw him in Marina trying to buy boli while he was still at UBA. That day, his lean frame and not-too-expensive bow tie drew me to him. Remember, I also wear a bow tie so I always take more than a passing interest when I see a fellow bow tie-wearing juggernaut. That fateful day, I moved closer and watched how he meticulously chose the boli, asking for the very burnt ones and then buying like four wraps of groundnut. What really intrigued me that day was how someone will take four packs of groundnut on one boli, well that was his style. He did not pay, apparently he was a customer and the seller was only just too glad to serve this personality. So you will agree with me that I can never see anything wrong in any position my colleague ‘bow tie-killer’ – that is what we call ourselves in the fraternity – takes. You see the Emir’s last public bombardment on the economic development of the North East and West plus the North’s attitude towards social issues like the girl child education resounds so loudly in my ears.

We need our leaders to be this forthright, talk with candour regardless of whose feathers is ruffled. Picking and choosing our words have not led us as a nation to anywhere, truth in its naked form must be said at all times with the hope that its bitterness will trigger us to action. So emir, what you said is the truth and it is not only in the North, the whole country is a morass of poverty, disease and squalor. We are all swimming in the murky waters of desolation and the fault lies squarely on the feet of our leaders including you and me, who is now a Duke. Anybody who does not like your candour can go and jump into the lagoon and if there is no lagoon in the North, they can bury themselves in the sand. The only wahala in this your royal activism is what exactly will you do as emir to practically jump start this meaningful change. It is not only to shout on a podium which I support very strongly, it is also to begin to lead by example. I hear the emirate council treasury is very deep, let us start from there in putting in place very strong and robust philanthropic initiatives that would gradually begin to change the landscape.

You can also use the platform of the very influential emirate to galvanise and mobilise resources from others to intervene in the poorest of the areas and while you are at it, please do not forget the Dukedom of Shomolu; as one royal father to another you have to send some of your philanthropic initiatives towards this side too. We too are very poor here and would not mind some level of support in acquiring the kind of Rolls Royce you are driving as I believe it will create a lot of employment for my people. You ask how? Let me tell you. Is it not someone that would wash it, that is employment, is it not someone that would guard it, that is employment, is it not someone that will drive it, is it not someone that will sweep the road that it will pass, is it not someone that will control traffic when I am passing, is it not someone that will blow the bugle as I am emerging from my palace? Abeg, emir, please send the Rolls Royce, we royal fathers have to stick together. After all, what else can we do without a constitutional role?

Professor Itsa Sagay : …Yes, You are Making Enemies
My dear Professor, I am sure when you were appointed by my friend, President Muhammadu Buhari, he never had it in mind that he was appointing a verbal pugilist. In our discussions just before your appointment and when your name came up, we were looking for a mature mind with a firm understanding of the laws of our land with a high level of integrity backed with deep capacity to work very closely with the government in fighting corruption through legal means and not eschewing the rule of law. It was me, this same me that recommended you and voted very strongly for your candidacy against all opposition. Today, I must say it here without fear that you may have derailed.Your utterances since your appointment have been quite belittling of Nigerians and the institutions which you should respect and safeguard. Your recent wahala with the Senate in my poor illiterate mind is a major slap on the faces. Joining the litany of people to disrespect the Senate in whatever form or guise is least expected of a man of your status and I must say, I regret voting for you that evening.

I am sure it was the kunu I was drinking that must have beclouded my judgment. Sir, with all due respect, let me state it here, YES, YOU ARE MAKING ENEMIES. Please sir, step down on confrontation, toe the line of compromise and most of all, show respect to the Nigerian people by honouring and respecting the Senate. No matter what, even if they are a band of thieves and rapists, we voted them in, they represent us. They are our leaders and we all must show them respect  whether we like it or not. I really do not understand why you would choose to belittle the people, the same people you owe your position to.  If the President can toe the line of compromise by setting up a committee, why not you who do not even have a cabinet position? My dear Professor, we are watching here from Shomolu and as peace-loving people we beseech you to stop ‘making enemies for the government’ and start building bridges of compromise with a view to achieving whatever goals they set for you when you were appointed. By the way, have you checked your blood pressure recently? Drink a little bit more Kunu. Prof, the prof, great guy.

Aliko Dangote : Happy Birthday Sir
As one mogul to the other, I will be sending you a belated 60th birthday. Wishing you nothing for what else would you be wishing for since you are already the richest man in Africa, any other wish is just being greedy. You see in my books, it is written ‘seek first the kingdom of wealth and every other thing would be added’. So you see my brother, everything else has been added to you, hence my wishing you nothing. That you remain a great guy cannot be overemphasised, you have inspired some of us to work very hard showing that a good day’s work with God’s added blessing can throw you on the Forbes list. Although mine is taking some time, I am very sure, I will soon get there. You remain a super beacon of hope and pride to the Nigerian man. You have showed that despite all the wealth in the world that humility is still a very strong virtue. God bless you sir.

Florence Ita Giwa : A Matriarch Leaves
The spirit of life has finally left the PDP in the South-South. Mama Bakassi has finally decided to leave the party. Her seeming frustrations with the childish intrigues that have continued to bedevil the party in that region have finally succeeded in pushing this colossus out of the party and into the waiting arms of the APC. Immediately I heard this news, I placed a call to Ekanmi. Ekanmi in Ibibio means my mother. I asked Adiagha what the problem was and by the time she finished, I could see the pain that only her unquestionable patriotism could mean in both her voice and in the frustrations she faced while still within the fold of the Pharisees who have nothing but selfish and narrow-minded goals as their guiding light.

Mama Bakassi has served two presidents as a special adviser. She has been a senator and she has played several philanthropic roles especially in the Bakassi region to the point that she has more than earned a firm footing in the pantheons of our history. Her crossing to the APC is nothing more than a tsunami especially in that region as her influence and popularity will go a long way in shifting the power dynamics in that region towards her new home. Well, the sad thing about all this is the fact that our politicians rather keep playing politics of the stomach instead of true nationalistic politics. Well, ekanmi do not worry, we are still behind you and will follow you blindly anywhere, you truly deserve our support and followership. You have earned it. Say me hello to Koko. Lovely girl.

El Rufai’s Salary : Where is NLC?
How can a whole sitting governor be earning less than N500,000 a month. Kai, where is this Nigerian Labour Congress? Now that there is a credible reason to call for a full strike, they will not fight. If it is to be fighting for a minimum wage for irrelevant people they will be calling us out for a meaningless strike. See now, El Rufai is taking home a wage that cannot even buy him fuel in his generators, not to talk of Keke Marwa, they are quiet. You see why that memo was written to the President. The salary is too poor abeg and after that they will carry all the wahala of Kaduna and put on his head when the salary cannot even put fuel in the generator to power his house. Something has to be done very seriously about this salary, I think we should increase it small by say five per cent to see if the memos will stop coming and to also see if he can finally settle down and work for Kaduna people. Abasi, N431,000 for governor? But sir, let me advise you on how to spend this money, please put all in MMM or any other ponzi scheme you can find as they pay the money will double or better still, you can play Baba Ijebu or any of these lotto schemes. I am sure you will win. That way you can concentrate on more pressing issues. It is good that you have told us your salary at least we can now see that things are not the Eldorado we all think governance is. Kai, whose salary are we expecting next?

Isale Eko: Ken Etete to the Rescue
By the time you are reading this, the second day of Isale Eko would be showing. The run towards the show has been phenomenal with us receiving a lot of support from Nigerians. However, one man stands out, he is Mr. Ken Etete, a wonderful man. I sent him a mail and immediately, Isale Ekos fortunes changed. He is the angel God  sent to me on this matter. Apart from the Executive Governor of Lagos who has been nothing but mercurial, Mr Etete has been the angel sent from heaven. He has supported me in a way I still find very hard to fathom and I ask all my readers the whole six of you to please kneel down wherever you are as you are reading and stretch forth your right hand towards Lekki, not the bridge side o, the other side and send a strong prayer for continuous good health and increasing wealth for this noble man. Oya pray !!!!!!!!!!