MY MOTHER’S LIFE OF UNASSUMING STRENGTH

 OKECHUKWU UWAEZUOKE pays tribute to his mother Elizabeth Chinwe Uwaezuoke, a woman whose gentle strength sustained the family through war, hardship, loss and seven decades of family life

“She has gone to be with the Lord.”

These may not have been the exact words of the message that appeared on the WhatsApp group I share with my brothers. Perhaps, because words like these have become so familiar, they are what memory reaches for when the exact wording begins to fade. Whatever the exact words were no longer mattered. The fact was that this was definitely not the kind of message I expected to see that morning, May 16.

Only a few moments earlier, I had been informing someone on WhatsApp that my mother had been hospitalised. Indeed, how could I have imagined anything worse when, after a WhatsApp video call with one of my brothers the previous evening, I had thought the worst was over? From what I saw, she, though looking weak and tired, gave me good reason to believe that she was on the path to recovery.

Recovery, I say, because the couple of days before that had been too traumatising for me to recall. Who would not have been disturbed to see his own mother in obvious discomfort? Then, reading those words that Saturday morning caught me completely unprepared.

True, Mama was 93, a ripe old age. Yet, going by her constitution, I had high hopes of her beating Papa’s record. Papa, by the way, had passed away two years earlier at 99.

My high hopes were not mere wishes. I had good reasons for them. On my last visit to the house in Enugu in October last year, the same house that had been customised for her comfort and that of Papa when they celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary in 2015, she was characteristically cheerful and sprightly. Nothing in her demeanour or her gait suggested that a farewell was imminent. I left that day, therefore, without the slightest feeling that I had just seen my mother for the last time on this side of existence.

Her earth-life, which began on March 28, 1933, has now come full circle in fulfilment of the Divine Will. My mother, Elizabeth Chinwe Uwaezuoke (née Onyekwuluje), was born the third of eight children and the second of five daughters of Timothy Onyekwuluje, an Anglican Church catechist, and his wife, Victoria. Raised in a deeply Christian home, she carried that faith with her throughout her life.

With an academic record that marked her out as an intelligent and diligent pupil, it was hardly surprising that she passed the Standard Six Examination with a Mission Employment Grade in 1948, qualifying her for appointment as a teacher by the Diocese on the Niger.

It was while teaching at St Mark’s Primary School, Ogbunike, that she met my father. Their wedding, on Saturday, October 1, 1955, at Bishop Tugwell Memorial Anglican Church on Lagos Island, opened a new chapter in her life — as wife, mother, counsellor and the steadfast centre of a family whose story she would help shape for the next seven decades.

Her influence within the home was gentle and unobtrusive, but unmistakable. She stood steadfastly beside Papa during the Nigerian Civil War and in the difficult years that followed, when he lost his position in the Nigeria Police after the federal government dismissed officers who had served on the Biafran side during the conflict.

Mama remained remarkably composed through it all, somehow managing to keep the home going without allowing the difficulties outside to overwhelm it.

A new chapter in Papa’s working life began when he got a job with the East Central Broadcasting Service (ECBS), which later became the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA), Enugu. Mama stood by him as they rebuilt their lives.

She made sure that her children had what they needed and, as far as possible, did not let us feel the weight of the difficulties she was carrying with Papa. Education mattered greatly to both of them, and Mama did her part, often behind the scenes, to ensure that this aspiration became a reality.

Even after Papa’s retirement brought a slower pace of life in Enugu, she never wavered in her motherly duties. She continued to offer wise counsel, practical support and encouragement to her children, grandchildren and all who sought her advice.

On June 18, 2024, Mama experienced the sorrow of losing Papa, beside whom she had walked as a devoted wife for almost 70 years. Less than two years later, on May 16, 2026, she answered her Maker’s call in Enugu at the age of 93.

Her self-effacing demeanour, integrity and compassion were not qualities she merely spoke about. They were how she lived. Those qualities, together with the example she left behind, are perhaps the richest inheritance she could have bequeathed to her family. They remain, too, the truest memorial to her life.

·      Uwaezuoke is an Editor with THISDAY