The Mask of Masculinity: Revealing the Hidden Struggles of Today’s Men

In a world where traditional masculinity is being redefined, men are struggling to cope with the pressures of modern life. The stigma surrounding mental health, the expectations of societal norms, and the lack of emotional support are all taking a toll on men’s well-being. But there’s hope. The Triple G Conference is shining a light on the crisis facing modern men and providing a platform for them to open up, share their experiences, and find support. Writes MARY NNAH

Behind the façade of confidence and strength, many men are struggling to cope with the pressures of modern life. The mask of masculinity, once a symbol of power and resilience, has become a barrier to emotional expression and vulnerability. As men navigate the complexities of relationships, careers, and societal expectations, they often find themselves trapped in a cycle of silence and suffering.

In a society where men are conditioned to be strong, stoic, and unyielding, the cracks are beginning to show. The pressure to conform to traditional notions of masculinity is taking a devastating toll on men’s mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. The statistics are alarming: rising rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide among men; a growing sense of disconnection and isolation; and a lack of emotional intelligence and vulnerability.

Against this backdrop, the maiden edition of the Triple G (Groom, Grow, & Grind) Conference took place recently in Lagos. Convened by Sola Oyebade, aka Mr. Mahogany, the event shone a spotlight on the crisis facing modern men and provided a platform for men to open up, share their experiences, and learn from others.

The conference was designed to be a safe space for men to have honest and open conversations about the challenges they face. “We want to create a platform where men can talk to each other honestly and openly, where they can talk about the facts, not just come and say, oh, I’m big, I’m fantastic, I’ve built a great business,” Mr. Mahogany explained.

“Let people understand that. What did I go through? What kind of suffering did I get? How many ups and downs did I have? You know, what are the intricacies about having relationships, about working with people, like we spoke today about emotional intelligence?”

“I was inspired to create the Triple G conference because I realised that men are not supporting men. When I looked out there, I said, What is out there for men? I mean, there are so many events out there for women, women are supporting women, but men are not supporting men. And I talked to a lot of young men, and they seem to be lost. They don’t seem to have any direction, they don’t have any mentors, they don’t understand what the right things to do, how’s the right way to talk to women”, Mr. Mahogany said in an exclusive interview with THISDAY.

The conference featured four main sessions: Men’s Grooming Panel (“Habits of the Modern Gentleman”), Health & Wellness Fireside Chat (“Fit for Life, Not Just the ‘Gram”), Business & Finance Panel (“Boss Moves, Soft Life”), and Leadership Panel (“Leading Without the Suit”).

The event brought together industry experts, including Jason Poshe, Ugo Monye, Dr. Ibukun Tunde Oni, Samuel Ayowole, Ayo Akinola, Dr. Yemi, Kunmi Ariyo, and Sola Oyebade (Mr. Mahogany), to share their knowledge and experiences.

One of the key issues discussed at the conference was the toxic masculinity that’s been ingrained in our society. Mr. Mahogany believes that the pressure to conform to societal expectations of what it means to be a man can be overwhelming.

“Men are expected to be strong, to pay all the bills, and to be tough all the time,” he said. “But life is not like that anymore. There’s so much going on. We’re in a country like Nigeria. The economy is not always as good for us. Women are doing much better than men nowadays. If you look at a lot of women, they are in the good middle management to senior management positions. So that means some women are starting to earn more than men. That puts even more pressure on the man.”

The conference also highlighted the importance of mental health and the need for men to prioritise their well-being. “Men are suffering in silence, and it’s affecting their relationships and their productivity,” Mr. Mahogany said.

“We need to create a safe space for men to talk about their struggles and to seek help when they need it. Even if they do have people to talk to, they feel it’s a stigma to be able to go out and say, I’m suffering from mental health issues. I want to go and see a therapist, and that becomes an issue”, he added.

As the conversation around men’s mental health and wellness continues to evolve, one thing is clear: the status quo is no longer acceptable. “I don’t think we are fully ready to shatter the status quo and redefine what it means to be a man,” Mr. Mahogany admitted. “And I say that based on numbers. Yes, you have a few ready men, but the majority are not ready. And I think the majority are not ready because they are not educated to be ready.”

The Triple G Conference is a step in the right direction, but it’s just the beginning. The real work starts now. As Mr. Mahogany noted, “We are going to be doing Triple G every year, and we are going to be doing smaller seminars and workshops to support men on their journey to becoming the best versions of themselves. We’re not just talking about one event, we’re building a movement.”