Loud Whispers  with JOSEPH EDGAR

Ibas and His Expensive Joke

This oga coincidentally shares a name with my maternal grandfather who was also Ibok. But that my grandfather was a gentleman pastor and would never have agreed to be appointed a sole administrator under this guise.

Well, that is a story for another day. Let me concentrate fully on the hot topic of the day. Since this oga resumed in Rivers State through a “coup by other means,” he has been going on like an emperor, dismantling democratic institutions and behaving as if he has more than the six months his principal prescribed to him.

This is why when the report came out that he had summoned the legitimate Governor of Rivers State, Sir Sim Fubara to his office, the whole country went up in flames.

They quickly came out to say it was fake news. Na lie, me I do not believe it was fake news, it was the uproar that made them go back in their yellow cowardly fashion to say na fake news.

Fake news my craw craw infested ass! We must all come out strongly to defend this hard won democracy even though it is being strangled by the very people who claim to have fought for it.

Since the inception of this administration, we have come to realise that all that June 12 and NADECO fight was not for democracy but for a speedy move of the sliding doors so it will be “emilokun.”

Today, Rivers is under military rule – we can label it with anything we want to, the truth is that there is no democracy in Rivers and all right-thinking people should sleep with their eyes wide open.

Mr. Ibas or is it Vice Admiral Ibas, should be made aware very clearly that he is but a temporary speck abi dot in the white sheet of our democracy, and that he should just do his own and go and be mindful of history because even if “dem” send am “mumu” message, there is a way you will carry out the message with maturity and decorum and not with all these ones that we are seeing.

Fake or no fake, you have no right to even think of summoning Fubara because he is merely suspended – something that is even being challenged in court, and as such you must tread with caution.

If I were in your shoes sef, I would only be paying salaries because that thing you are doing may soon be termed illegal if our judiciary can just even for once come out of its lethargy and truly be a defender of justice instead of this kwashiorkor behaviour they have been doing since. So my brother, do not by any stretch of the imagination be carried away, do your own and go, and never forget that you are but a speck in our collective bedsheet. Thank you.

Sultan Abubakar: A Killing Spree?

While President Bola Tinubu is in France, the country is boiling. The Benue and Plateau axis is now a bonfire of killings. Hundreds of lives, property and farmlands are being destroyed by errant people that have defied all kinds of labelling. We seem to be adept at labelling the marauders – herdsmen, Fulani herdsmen, bandits, terrorists. Whatever we want to call them, they are killing Nigerians in their thousands and our forces being adept in catching Yahoo boys and those abusing their ogas on social media seem to have no answer to this latest upsurge in killings.

Shebi we all had thought that Buhari being a kinsman was giving them cover, now we have a non-relation with his kinsmen in full control of the security apparatus and the killing is still happening almost unabated.

My dear Sultan, you even have the mind to carry yourself to Borno with all that your robe. If it happens now how will you run? It’s not a laughing matter, these people fear nobody o, turban or not o. Didn’t they steal a truck belonging to the Office of the National Security Adviser (ONSA) the other day?

My oga, abeg stay in your palace and keep sending out statements because it is not a joke out there. The whole of the, North-west, North-east, Middle Belt, South-east and parts of the South-west are in flames simply because their herds must eat or for any other reason.

Me, I have surrendered since, losing all hope and relying on fervent prayers that these marauders will on their own be tired and just go because what we are seeing here is a clear inability to be defended by those we have empowered to defend us. Na prayer remain.

Atiku Abubakar: It’s Time to Say Goodbye

The day I saw Atiku go to visit Buhari, I closed the curtain on one of the most colourful political careers Africa has seen. Abubakar Atiku has tried and I think it is time he finally throws in the towel.

Starting from the customs where he started his career, the man has impacted Nigeria politically, business-wise and even in polygamy enough to earn himself a well-deserved place in the history books. He should just retire and go and enjoy whatever are the fruits of his many labours because what we are seeing here is a gradual but assured desecration of whatever legacy he may have built.

The man is surely on the way to political irrelevance and if he continues like this, even Portable, the errant and irritating Ijebu musician would defeat him in a small election.

His inconsistency and seeming desperation seem to have blinded his sense of strategy and is now turning him into a political irritant. I am sorry that I am using such strong words but his continued stay in the forefront is blinding us and distracting us from building a strong opposition and a bulwark against this “amala” tyranny that we are facing.

Please, if nobody can tell him to his face, can someone give me an appointment so that I can sit in front of him and stare very clearly into his eyes and tell him straight “Grandpa, can you just retire?”

 Worse, he will beat me but I would have saved Nigeria from another malignant distraction. Mbok, “wattahell” as my uncle would say, when he saw only one piece of meat in his afang those days – Atiku “wattahell.”

For Mudasiru Obasa, the Beat Goes on

This one has gone deaf. He and his masters have ceased to listen to the voices of reason and continue to get drunk with power. For them, it’s only history and fate that will deal with them, for they have lost the capacity to see reason and see affairs of men, the way drunken sailors see used condoms.

So, they say that one court has declared his removal by a vast majority of his colleagues illegal amongst other things.

You know these people can use legal technicality to even make snow fall in Uyo so this was no surprise. All I can say is that Emperor Bokassa and Idi Amin did worse, today na dustbin we dey find them.

Junior Emperor Obasa, I wish you well, keep up the good work and greet your godfathers for a job well done. Na una dey reign. Keep it up. Sha remember, that no matter how long, truth and justice always sha use to have the last laugh. Prayer is for us all to be alive to see the true judgment of history and then we will have the last laugh. I can’t even wait.

Ebun Olu-Adegboruwa: Utopian by Nature

If I yab this one now, he will now be carrying “criminal defamation” and be pursuing me up and down because that is the latest way they are using to pressure us down to silence.

But this his statement on the NBA wahala with the Rivers State government is annoying and basically almost childish in nature. Saying that it was wrong for the NBA to receive donations and contributions on the back of their conferences because they collect fees and all that from its members is at best utopian and at worst, annoying – kai. I have used that word twice now. This shows my consternation at the statement.

You see a military dictator trying to rubbish a democratic institution like the NBA and you, a prominent member instead of fighting back or at best, keep quiet, you are strengthening that one.

Any association can seek support and contributions from anywhere as long as it is legally gotten and judiciously used. Even Elon Musk dey receive donations abi can’t you see Dangote Foundation collecting donations.

My fear when I first heard this thing was that maybe the Rivers State government has either chopped the money or sent N2 million and posted N300 million, like I have experienced in my dealings with some state officials. But that is not the issue here but one funny man in white uniform trying all of his best to rubbish a suspended administration and you carry all of your “SANENESS” to join in slinging the mud.

NBA received that money legitimately and the people who gave them the money have not reported being coerced to give the money, and in my books the person asking for the money back has no constitutional right to ask for the money back and as such NBA should keep the money and use it for the purposes it was meant for. Me I will vex if they now go and use the money to hire Portable again o.

Mr SAN, na beg, I dey beg you, if you are less busy, please go and fight that Honourable man that wants to ban porn, that should keep you a little busy.

Come and beat me or go to Ekiti and get their police to come and drag me.

IG Kayode Egbetokun: How Do We Handle This?

I am sure this IG when he was confronted with this clip of Chinese people sharing money to a troop of well-dressed policemen, he would just tire. He will drop the morsel of amala that he was eating and say – ni bo la tu ja si ba yi.

Struggling with unprecedented crime, insecurity and Sowore who is all over the place shouting that he should be sacked and now these Chinese people have left their Indomie noodles to come and add to his headache.

I hear they have been summoned but even they should have known that this is all shades of wrong. How do you line up and be collecting cash from anybody talk less of a foreign national for a “job well done”.

For me, it shows the very low level of training in ethics and professionalism in the police force. Even boy scouts from Anyiam Nsit will not line up and be collecting cash like that from anybody.

The fact that it was even a foreign national gnaws at our sovereignty and national pride.

IG should immediately look towards his HR, if police have HR or any department whose job it is to train and instill ethics and professionalism in the force. Most of these policemen don’t even know the ethics of their profession. They don’t know the rules of engagements, the laws that guide their duty and all of that and this clip very clearly shows that. Yet at every given opportunity when arrest innocent Nigerian, they are always quick to boast with “do you want to teach me my job.”This is not the time to arrest them or use them to play to the gallery as you guys used to do, this is the time for training and reorientation. Thanks.

Tunji Olowolafe: Stay Strong, Stay Blessed

Dr. Olowolafe is one of those people that you really do not see in the spotlight. His effectiveness is felt behind the curtains where he wields stupendous influence that cuts across all strata of society.

I had a very gentle inkling as to what was going on in his personal life during the run towards my stage play on Adekunle Fajuyi where he played a very important role.

He was supposed to be a special guest of honour at the command performance in Ado Ekiti having supported very powerfully. But he called late one night and said, “Edgar I cannot come. My wife is not doing too well and I have to be with her. Please keep this to yourself.”

I kept it and prayed for her safety. Two years later, the news of her passing hit the airwaves and Nigeria refused to be consoled.

Dr Olowolafe is the kind of man you never forget to have met. Let me confess, I have physically met him only once in my life but the impact he has made with the little he has said to me and by our chats remain profound.

It is no wonder that high society came out in their droves to support him as he sent his beautiful wife in glory to heaven.

It is never easy to lose a loved one and this in itself will not be easy. You can never be prepared; I tell you and this is why I want to join the multitude in seeking God’s merciful comfort for him and his family as he goes through this very difficult period. Take heart my Lord, God will keep you strong.

Richard Mofe Damijo: Your Father, Your Father

The legend has been on the road promoting his new movie- I don forget the name and as such he has been doing things. His appearance in one annoying podcast was the stuff legends are made off.

This podcast is my favourite as the presenter uses satire and humour to irritate and tackle his guests. So, this one on RMD who is as old as his great grandfather really shook social media.

“So, Richard,” he began, and RMD countered, “Your papa, your papa, your papa.” I laughed, I nearly died.

In that sentence, RMD had deepened engagements on so many counts – respect for tradition, humour and sarcasm in show business and how to be a good sportsman.

It is no wonder the clip went viral with all of us laughing but not losing the import of the whole thing.

 That was a blast I swear and I really enjoyed the whole banter. Well done Egbon, na sir, I go dey call you make you no go abuse my papa o. Well done guys.