Loud Whispers with JOSEPH EDGAR

KWAM 1: Something About That Call

The Fuji legend recently lost his dear mum and everybody who is somebody sent consolation messages to him. One message however triggered massive debate on one platform that I belong to: President Tinubu’s call.

Apparently, President Tinubu had called the Fuji maestro to condole with him and as it is wont to be, KWAM 1 had released a clip of him receiving the phone call. The call was that of an egbon and an aburo as the mutual love and respect was apparent.

The argument was straight forward. People had gone to town citing Kwam 1’s huge influence as an artiste as a reason for the call. They argued that for a president to call KWAM 1 from outside of the country shows just how much he had achieved as an artiste and his influence in the space.

You guys know that me I burst bubbles for a living. I took my time to pour very cold water on the argument.

I said, mbok that call was not because KWAM 1 had achieved anything on the scene as compared to what our Afrobeats stars have been achieving, but the call came as a result of his membership in the “establishment.” That was a call amongst buddies and very close friends, and had nothing whatsoever to do with his accomplishments as a musician.

This is not to deny his contributions to the genre. He has maintained relevance in the space for decades and this must be commended. But this also brings to the fore the incestuous relationship he has with his colleagues. The mindless fight over supremacy over a genre that has seen its best days. Mbok, who cares who is the Oluwaye of Fuji when we are only listening to it in Isale Eko or whenever Okoya is throwing a party.

Fuji as a genre is dying. No new discovery, no new style and no blast in recent times. What we however see is in-fighting, leadership struggle and all of that negativity which is not doing the genre any good.

So, the question is, when last did KWAM 1 release any major work? When last did he play a major concert? When last did he do a tour, and let’s even be serious, apart from private and strategic parties all over the South-west, where else does KWAM 1 play?

Truthfully, in the last 10 years, can you still call him a musician?  All we have seen are numerous name changes and a push into other areas like hospitality, real estate, child bearing and marriages plus politics which could have prompted the call.

KWAM 1 is a major influence in the establishment as can be seen with his prestigious traditional title. He played a major role during the last elections and is a major force in that space with access to very powerful places all over Yoruba land. The man is an enigma, a powerbase by himself and an untouchable so that call was not because he filled the Madison Square Garden or got nominated for the Grammys, na to political mobiliser that must be kept happy as we approach 2027. Let’s get it right.

I have said my own, anybody who does not agree, can come and beat me. It’s that simple.

In Defence of My Brother, Udom Emmanuel

One faceless group has sent a petition to the EFCC accusing my BMW-driving brother of all sorts. The petition that has received so much media attention was written by a body that called themselves the Network Against Corruption and Trafficking Initiative and signed by one Fejiro Tega.

The petition accused Mr Udom of diverting N1.5trillion of our money using security votes which according to them did not reach one single security man in the state.

They went further to say that of the N3 trillion that entered the state during his tenure, they could not find N700billion. They said my brother left a staggering debt profile of N300billion and finally claimed that he spent N100billion on 31 industries out of which they claim to have seen only four which even now collapsed after inauguration.

They ended by saying that his house in Lagos is worth over N3billion and that he was building a new one.

See the talk in that petition was too long and too plenty, no energy to read everything.

But let me say this very quickly, that I think it is Mr Udom’s political enemies that are doing this, because the Tega man is not from our state and as such the EFCC should not take the petition seriously until a bona fide Akwa Ibom man signs it.

Secondly, the most important industry built by Udom is still standing – the cathedral. So what is this petition all about? That one cathedral is more than all the 31 ghost firms that have been quoted in that “yeye” petition.

This is nothing but a witch-hunt. Did the security men in the state complain that they did not get their allowances? Abi can they not see that it is the relative calmness of the state occasioned by Udom’s pioneering administration that has led his successor to build on by declaring the happy hour policy?

Me, I think that these people are very envious of Udom’s remarkable achievements in Uyo. Uyo and indeed Akwa Ibom now parades skyscrapers, attracting so many global brands to the place. In fact, I can tell you very personally that Udom left Uyo as one of the top five most developed cities in the world, complete with trams that convey commuters in the sky linking villages like it is in Sweden.

These people have not visited Uyo, they just took a work of fiction to EFCC who are busy looking for exhibits that have been stolen by their people just to discredit and discolour the most performing governor since the history of the state.

My brother Udom, mbok, ignore these ones, they are drunks. Who in his right senses cannot even see the massive development in your state?

They are even beefing your N3 billion house. Mbok Abasi, was the governor of the oil rich Akwa Ibom expected to come back and live in a  police barracks? They should go and sit down abeg. This is just bad belle.

Did we say our N1 trillion has gone missing? Leave us in our land o, we are happy with Udom and we don’t need him prosecuted, abi is it your money?

Udom, you try. You really try.

Rasaq Okoya: An Entrepreneurial Patriarch

Recently, the enigmatic and enduringly influential businessman and elder statesman celebrated his 85th birthday at his palatial home in Lagos.

As expected, the party pooled everybody that matters. From the dancing Governor who revelled in the immense talent of his nephew superstar Davido, to great Dele Momodu to my man Sanwo-Olu and so many others.

The party was truly a testament to the grit determination, the effusive hard work and the sole courage of this gentleman who started from selling buttons to finally emerging one of the biggest industrialists on the continent.

I have remained highly intrigued with his journey. His story is massive and madly inspirational as it tells of a different rag-to-riches ensemble. A journey with no real shortcuts and a life of abiding philanthropy that continues to marvel and beholden the world.

As I was not invited, I will try to rise above my anger and envy and just send a huge birthday greeting to one of the truly greats in this our country. Happy birthday Chief Rasaq Okoya, but don’t try it next year. Don’t try it again, that you will do this kind of party and you won’t invite me, I dare you sir. Lol.

Leno Adesanya: A Funny Kind of Matter

My friend Obinna Ihunna used to say “Bathe a pig, cloth a pig, a pig is still a pig.” He also used to say that “if you play in the mud with a pig, people will not know the difference.”

Today Obasanjo and Buhari are revelling in the mud with a “pig” in far away Paris. The humiliation of it all getting our two past presidents to go and testify in a court is doing so much damage to our country’s reputation. The optics are not good at all and this is what you get when you play in the mud and cloth a pig.

I am not calling Mr Leno a pig o before they come and beat me, it is the system that threw him up and so many like him that I am calling piggery.

The rent system where anything and everything goes is the piggery. Reading the whole story, I am irritated to the point of vomit. From the signing and cancellation of agreements, the negotiations, the relationships, all you sense is a cacophony of noise in the piggery.

Our leaders, our businessmen all wallow in the dirt and stench of the piggery as they “roli poli” in the mud with all of them splattered to the point where they have all carried themselves to faraway Paris to dance naked with Nigeria risking $2.3billion in damages.

All of these could have been avoided if due process, integrity, professionalism and ethical commiserations were placed above ‘paddy paddy’ considerations in dealings.

My own is that, I really do hope that Nigeria is not funding this trip to Paris because I no think say Buhari can buy business class ticket o. They should use their own money this time, so they can really feel our disappointment. Thank you.

Chief Samuel Ogbuku: 25-year-old Virgin

You guys may not know this gentleman so let me introduce him. He is the MD/CEO of interventionist NDDC. NDDC is the development corporation of the Niger Delta that was established amongst others to ensure the rapid socio-economic development of the oil-rich region as a direct response to the restiveness of the region.

Agitations for an equal share of oil revenues in terms of development of the core region had reached a crescendo and this was the government’s brilliant response.

The commission I hear is celebrating 25 years of existence and the truth must be said that rather than engender development all we have seen mostly is avarice, leadership tussle, a hotbed of corrupt influences, all leaving the region in a state of palpable devastation.

I have heard some very good things said about chief. They say he has come with a different ethos to do the work. I am being put under pressure to write “nice things” about him but when I don’t see the things, do I manufacture them?The challenge to chief is for him to use the opportunity of the 25-year anniversary to carve out a strategic intent that would touch very critically the lives of the people of Niger Delta. That is the pledge I require from you today, I beg you, my brother. You can do this please just do the right thing and then we can all party. For now, postpone the celebrations’ and let’s get back to the drawing table. Well done my brother. Later.

Joe Ajaero’s Warped ‘position on Telcos Tariff

The NLC President needs to go back to school. His reactions remain very archaic hence his seeming ineffectiveness. He has not won any battle since he emerged and that is because he comes at issues without perfect understanding.

Take for example this increment in tariffs by the telcos. They asked for 100% after over 25 years of operations without any increment but operating with over 1,000% increase in inputs, and got a 50% approval.

NLC now came out in its usual shallow manner to cry on the effect of the increments on the salary of workers. He claimed that workers spend about 10% of their income on communications and as such the telcos must revert.

This one-sided push by the NLC is the main reason why they will be ignored and will continue to be ignored. They never look at it from the perspective of the other person.

Power costs are over 1,000% increase, human capital cost the same and if you factor in the fact that they are competing with global brands for critical human capital, it makes the need to edge very paramount. The forex crises being another major issue in an industry where importation of strategic inputs is almost 100%.

So, at the MTN boardroom, it’s not the 10% of the NLC’s 100,000 members, N10,000 salary they are looking at but the whole gamut of servicing the over 60million subscribers they have on all of their network.

The NLC market is not representative of the telcos market or anybody’s market for that matter and this is why the man fails in every battle.

He needs to understand the shifting market place. The telcos understand these and play to it very effectively and that is why they return the trillions that they do.

Now that revenues have come into the conversation, the telcos must themselves find a powerful middle ground. Even at current tariff rates, they still return massive revenues although the forex crises erodes a significant proportion of the returns and as such, we see this increment as a kind of an edge.

But that said, the balance between huge profits for shareholders and a maximal corporate responsibility,  especially in a challenged market must be put on the table during deliberations.

In doing these, other measures of ramping revenues must also come into play – market expansion to pull in the remaining 40 million that have not been connected, tariff variations between markets and cost control in the industry amongst others.

These are the issues Joe refused or could not put on the table and this is why his petition like the rest would be trashed in the bin.

For record purposes, I kinda support the increment. Come and beat me. Thank you.

Chantal Edgar:  Raising a Storm

Chantal is my daughter and she has scattered the internet. We recently had an interview on my podcast, expecting to have a lovely father and daughter Christmas chat.

My people, I ran into a storm. Parents are selfish, she shouted. Parents are jealous of us because we don’t have to work to go to school. Parents don’t just understand us and they are sad.

My people, as the volley came out of her mouth, me and my producer Tosh went silent. Ohh my God, this was a full-blown battle of the generations and I decided to fight back.

You Gen Z’s are rude and drug laden, I fired back and she came back: “You are more, it’s just that there is social media in our time so you hear more about us, you guys smoke “igbo” much more than us.”

Kai, I was not going to give up- you guys are sexual perverts. sex everywhere and she fired back – you guys were pregnant on your wedding day, got deflowered in secondary schools and ended it with “you guys are hypocritical.”

After the interview, I chased her down the Raymond Njoku Street studio to beat her and she ran faster than me and escaped.

My people, the podcast has gone viral hitting over 60,000 views with her generation proclaiming her a hero for speaking truth to power and my generation, heckling her as a spoilt child of a mad man. Me, I am still looking for her to beat. Kai.

Have you spoken or hugged your child recently?

Lami Tumaka: A Golden Shout-out

Let me quickly send a befitting shout-out to a golden girl, Lami Tumaka. Lami has been a very strong pillar in the Public Relations space in the country. Using the platform afforded her by the NIMASA, she significantly contributed to the growth of not only the industry but also that of some professionals in the space. She is now retired and enjoying the fruits of her huge labour.

Recently, she celebrated her birthday and the whole world came tumbling down at Abuja in honour of such a remarkable lady. Here is to such a brilliant and wonderful aunty, happy birthday ma and may God bless you with good health and long life.