“I CANNOT COME AND KILL MYSELF: LET ME CHOP LIFE SMALL”

SOFT FINANCE

There is this Billionaire friend of mine; we have been close for more than two decades. I have always been awed by the meticulous ways in which he handles all aspects of his wealth. He believes that you must not just make money, but that you must learn how to manage it; how to multiply it; how to make it last and how to make it count. Each time I enter his sprawling compound inside an enclosed edifice that stretches to almost half of the street it is located in, I always marvel how an individual can be such painstaking in the way he allows wealth to speak, so to say .

He told me he wrote his will when he was 35 years of age and he also purchased his final resting place(where he would be buried when he is gone) at the same age. I got to know not too long ago about the massive stuffs he accomplished in philanthropy, most of them not to the knowledge of the general public.

For reasons I have not been able to explain, every time he asked me how I was building my own wealth , I have not been able to answer the question and he has refused to drop the ball. In fact, one very nice sweltering afternoon, he had placed a call to me and wanted to know if he could see him and when I got to his house the reason he called had to do with the same question he has always been asking me.
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The first time I met my Billionaire friend, the calendar read 1989. He was then, in a conversation with one of my friends. Back then, I was a cub reporter, oscillating between writing, editing and re-editing. One thing led to another, and the conversation spilt to my corner. We got talking, and we have built a solid relationship, ever since.
When I got to his home, he had some visitors. He reached out for me, to give him ten minutes, and he stayed true to his words. I guess enlightened billionaires (he likes to the word enlightened are men of their words. I sat in silence till his fine voice broke the serenity:
“Yes, my boss, thank you for honouring my invitation. I have two concerns about you that I want us to discuss, but I had just not been able to get around to doing so. My first and main concern is this; we have known each other for over three decades, and there is possibly nothing I am doing that is secret to you. I want to ask a simple question: ‘Is it that your profession prevents you from building a personal wealth or you are not just interested?'”
The question shocked me. Who does not like to build Wealth? However, my reply was pious.
I am a journalist. We are trained to observe what people do and make news and features out of such.
“And that prevents you from building some savings and investments, in the process of your reporting on others?”
Not exactly, sir.
“I understand you are a pastor, but I’m curious. Does your religion forbid you from building Wealth, or is it meant only for sinners?”

By no means, sir. I am not a pastor. I am not even a deacon ( by God’s grace I am now a deacon) , just simply Ayo Arowolo. But more accurately, in our church parlance, you could call me Brother Ayo.
“That brother one is beyond me. Let me stick to the one I know. You are my boss.” – his voice was lighter. I felt it was the perfect opportunity to move the spotlight on him.
Sir, I am just wondering why you would be calling me your boss? You have all the money and the things money can buy, for your family’s reasonable comfort.
“Well, you are a journalist of repute. I like your writing style, and would have liked being able to write like you.”
Let everyone abide by his calling. And we will all be fine.
“Okay, my boss. So tell me, why are you not interested in building up savings and investments to create some wealth for yourself?”
I never said that. It might be a wrong impression. I like to make money. It’s just that combining that with this journalism practice could be cumbersome. The economy is not even encouraging. All the possible economic indicators are not promising at all. Inflation has been on the increase, never looking back. The external reserve has dropped. Government is borrowing left, right and centre, and it does not appear to make sense to me to want to build Wealth here.
“I am surprised you are talking this way. Enlightened wealth hunters do not talk the way you talk.
“Let me still ask my innocent question: are you averse to building wealth?”
Not in the least, sir.

We had been on this matter for quite a while. Last month I decided to pay a visit to a friend of mine, a lawyer who is also a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. He was actually my bed-mate in the University back in 1983. He is also on the platform of the THISDAY LIFE LESSONS.
Once got to his office, I stated my mission without wasting time. I wanted him to help me put together the procedures for writing my will and also how to implement some of the sophisticated wealth building strategies my billionaire friend had been sharing with me for years.

He paused for a long while and then he asked me a simple question: Why would you want to do all these? I told him I wanted to take care of what happens when I am gone. He repeated the same question but I was wondering why he would be asking that question, being a lawyer who should know.
Seeing that I was getting uncomfortable with his question, he tried to explain by asking me another question: “are you having problems with your wife? Not in the least , I answered him. My friend replied: “In that case the only will you should write is the one that states that once you are gone, everything you have should be transferred to your wife and nothing more. He continued his discourse:
“All these ideas of worrying about what happens after you are gone is a waste of time. You have no business worrying over what happens after you are gone. The only little control you have over anything, if at all , is over what you are doing right now.

He now began to share very startling life stories with me some of which left me sweating. He told me of one of his clients, who happened to be from the same town with me , who had asked him to put in his will how his several property should distributed among his four daughters. He said one year after the man was gone, the four daughters flew from different parts of the world, sold off everything and went back to their bases. He also asked me about what happened to the wealth of the Billionaire publisher I used to work for back in the eighties. The man was stupendously wealthy. He was into so many areas of wealth building: publishing; aviation; oil and gas; bookshop; bakery; telecommunication; name it.
What happened to the wealth he accumulated, he asked. Truly I tried to look into it and it occurred to me that everything has disappeared. We also discussed the matter of a senior lawyer who was stupendously wealthy while alive but shortly after his death, his children got into bitter and deadly fights over what he left in his will.

My friend told me his own philosophy of life and it went this way.
“Ayo, I don’t bother myself about what happens after I am gone. What I am doing is to ensure that while I am alive , I give my children sound education. I have continued to invest in their personal development to the best of my ability and thank God they are doing well. I have told them not to expect anything else from me. In fact I have continued to tell my wife that if I go before him, she could as well burn my body and do whatever she likes with it. But let me assure you, while I am alive, I will chop life ; I will enjoy myself to the fullest. I will help as many people as possible with my resources while I am alive. Life is not complicated . Why should I bother myself about what someone does with my wealth after I am gone; I care less”.

I sat down for more than 10 minutes without saying anything but when I recovered, I called my driver and asked him to head straight to a top notch SPA, not far away from my friend’s office. I ordered for what they called COMBO package which is a combination of a sauna bath, Swedish and dip tissue massage mixed together. First they threw me into their sauna room for about 15 minutes. Next they slated for the combo massage session. It was a nice experience. All my blood veins came alive.

Once I finished from the massage parlour, I headed straight to a first class restaurant next to the SPA and ordered for their signature meal: a bowl of intricately prepared bitter leaf soup plus one very big dry fish and taken with a well prepared garri. As I settled town to level the mountain, I found myself repeating what my lawyer friend said while we were discussing in his office a while ago: “ Let me chop life small, I cannot come and kill myself”. It was a serious matter that I tried to make light. I will share with you next week what I made of the encounter with my lawyer friend after leaving that massage parlour.

Meanwhile, this week, I encourage you to also decide your own way of chopping life small; you would like it.
Shalom