My brother, I have heard that a mischievous attempt was made at burglarizing your office. Let me say this first, please it is not everything you people should be telling us. This kind thing, you for keep quiet and continue with whatever work you are doing because I no even see the work in the first place. Telling us that Aso Rock, expected to be a fortress, can be so infiltrated, not the office of the washman but your office? How do you want us to feel hearing this? If our seat of power is not well secure, how do we now have the confidence that you can protect us in this wahala of insecurity that is going on? That na my advice to your media handlers. Let it be that one busybody reporter hear the gist and release. You will deny, oh. The thing is shameful.
It’s like trying to climb madam, and nothing happens: the thing no gree come up, will you call a press conference? Seriously another advice I want to give you is not to call the police for this matter oh. Let me tell you one small experience. One day, I want to travel, so I start to pack my load. Then I did not see my credit card. That time Ecobank was pioneering credit card, and them give me. Na so I start to cry. The next minute I see alert: they were taking the money oh in N20,000 tranches.
By the time they had finished with me, a lot of money had gone. That time no daily limit. So, I ran to Shomolu police station. The man at the counter look me. He say ‘who are you?’ I tell am. He say write statement. I write. He read am finish. He say ‘how old are you?’ I tell am. He look him colleague say in Yoruba, ‘see this one who dash am N200,000. By the time I finish with him he will talk true.’ Me wey be Shomolu man even though I have not been made Duke by that time, I stand up and say, ‘I am coming.’ He say ‘come on, come back.’ Before I realize myself, I am behind the counter. Accuser don become accused.
After studying my statement and going back and forth in consultation and eating amala and ewedu with only one meat o, he came with the major conclusion that, ‘na your wife thief am.’ Before I could comprehend what was going on, he shouted, ‘constable take this man go bring him wife come, na suspect.’ My people I think say na play o. Na so we go arrest my wife o. Na beg we take commot for the matter. Let me say something before the acting inspector general want start to dey use me score brownie points. This one happened like 15 years ago. So, if you run to Alade police station for Shomolu na rookie police wey just commot for police college you will see there. Those ones would have been retired by now. So, Mr Gambari that is my experience and my advice. Just hush am, check to see if nothing was missing. Everything complete, pen, chewing gums, condoms, glasses, praying mat. Once everything is complete, just change burglar proof and put broom with red tape on top of the door so that they will just be sweeping when they come. You can give me a contract to supply the broom. I know where they do it in Shomolu. It is around that Ilaje side near Lagoon.
