The Alternative With Reno Omokri
President Muhammadu Buhari has blamed everybody but himself for his problems and now that he has gotten to the end of his tenure, he has run out of human beings to blame, so he has now been reduced to blaming inanimate objects.
I mean, on Christmas Day he told the visiting Federal Capital Territory Christian community that his anti-corruption war had not really taken off because the Nigerian system was slow.
Well, he does have a point, because if the Nigerian system had been working, Muhammadu Buhari would have faced imprisonment for overthrowing the democratically elected civilian administration of President Shehu Shagari on New Year’s eve of 1983.
But the same Muhammadu Buhari who said he cannot fight corruption effectively because the system is slow appointed Godswill Akpabio as National Coordinator for his campaign just two days after making the statement. That act alone proves that me right when I tweeted to the president that he is the problem, not the system.
Godwill Akpabio is obviously corrupt. There is no question about that. Not only does he have a pending corruption case with the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, but the man is also obviously richer than his legitimate income can justify. Far richer. The single greatest ‘uncommon transformation’ in Nigeria during that last ten years is the transformation of Akpabio from a nonentity in 2007, to a fabulously wealthy buffoon in 2018 who allows himself to be photographed while crouching to Buhari in London.
President Buhari hates corruption so much and is so angry at the slow pace of the Nigerian system that he appoints a man who should ordinarily be the poster boy for corruption as his main man. I hope Nigerians can now see that they have been had?
The man we have as the President is just a study in contradictory behaviour and the incident with Akpabio is only the latest in a very long and distinguished career in hypocrisy.
Consider another contradiction. President Buhari is now on record as promising both the Southwest and the Southeast that he would have over power to them if they vote to re-elect him as President In 2019.
He made the first promise to the Igbos of the Southeast through Boss Mustapha, his Secretary to the Government of the Federation and the second vow to the Yorubas through Vice President Yemi Osinbajo.
But before I elaborate on this contradiction, let me go on record as saying that it is so disappointing that a Professor of Law like Vice President Yemi Osinbajo, who also happens to be a pastor, would ask Yorubas to vote for Muhammadu Buhari, not because Buhari has done well, or because he will do well, but because he will allegedly hand over to a Yoruba. How can you promote ethnic interests over the wellbeing of Nigerians?
Buhari has turned Nigeria into the world headquarters for extreme poverty, yet Osinbajo a supposedly enlightened man, both educationally and spiritually, wants us to bring such a fellow back? Is it not better to be a non-President in heaven than to be the President in hell.
But back to the contradiction. For a long time, I have been pondering over Buhari’s promise to hand over to the Igbos in 2023 if they vote for him in 2019 and his simultaneous promise to the Yorubas to handover to them in 2023 if they vote him in 2019. Then the truth hit me. Jibrin made the promise to the Igbos, while Muhammadu made the promise to the Yorubas! That is the only way the two conflicting promises can make sense!
And then former President Shehu Shagari died on December 28, 2018, only for President Buhari to release a statement saying that Alhaji Shagari “led an exemplary life”. I agree with the President that Shehu Shagari lived an exemplary life, but if Buhari really believed what he said, the question becomes why did he overthrow him?
By saying that Mr. Shagari “led an exemplary life”, it means Buhari wants Nigerians to emulate him. Yet this man, who Buhari want Nigerians to emulate, was violently removed from office by Buhari. Doesn’t anyone around the President see the contradiction?
And then the other contradiction I will write about is the fact that President Buhari kicked off his re-election campaign in Uyo, the Akwa-Ibom state capital, on Friday, December 28, 2018, and while there, he told his supporters that he had ‘delivered on my promises’ and that ‘Boko Haram has no stronghold in any local government area in Nigeria at the moment’.
The shocking reality, however, is that on the same day as the President made his empty boast, both the BBC and local media were reporting that Boko Haram had just dislodged the Nigerian Army from Baga.
Other local media were reporting that 700 troops were missing and 2000 troops were trapped in Baga. Meanwhile, 1,200 miles from Baga, their Commander-in-Chief was shaking his booty and declaring victory over Boko Haram!
Boko Haram dislodged the Nigerian Army From Baga yesterday and the next day, Buhari and the APC are dislodging their shame in Uyo. How can terrorists defeat two out of your three battalions in Maiduguri overnight and your response is to shake your booty in Akwa-Ibom?
But the final contradiction is the accusation by President Buhari that if the Nigerian system was working properly, Atiku Abubakar, the Presidential candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party, would be in jail. Really?
Apparently, President Buhari has forgotten that when he needed money from Atiku Abubakar to campaign in 2015, he did not think Atiku should be in jail. When he needed Atiku’s private jet, to crisscross Nigeria, he had no complaints about him. When Atiku donated Garba Shehu to President Buhari to act as his spokesman, Buhari accepted. But now that Atiku is contesting against him, President Buhari suddenly remembers that he is ‘corrupt’ wants to jail him!
Sadly, the lack of money will ruin marriages faster than lack of love. With money, you can endure a marriage that is not loving. Without money, it is hard to endure a marriage, even if there is love. Love is the greatest gift of all, however, money answers all things. So make money. And if your money is not making money, then you don’t know the value of money. Don’t put yourself to work. Put your money to work. Invest in ventures that will produce money. Invest your seed and spend your harvest. Treat money like a tree. Eat the fruit, not the tree #RenosNuggets
IF (and it is a big IF) there is a free and fair election on February 16, 2019, President Buhari is only sure of victory in one zone:
The herdsmen killings and his general failure in governance mean he will lose the North Central. The South-South and Southeast will overwhelmingly vote for Atiku along with the Northeast (narrowly).
The Southwest is the only region I can’t forecast. Right now, things are too volatile there politically and it is hard to gauge the zone.