By Reno Omokri
With President Muhammadu Buhari’s lawyer’s N500,000 ‘gift’ to Justice Adeniyi Ademola while the certificate case was being tried before that judge and with the Secretary to the Government of the Federation’s Grasscuttergate scandal, can we all stop pretending and accept that the anti-corruption war is dead?
I believe I now know the reason why God allowed President Buhari to come back to power. It was to expose him for who he really is. Not a saint he potrays himself. A so-called anti-corruption crusader who writes letters to cover his corrupt Secretary to the Government of the Federation and whose lawyer gives gifts to a justice that is being tried for collecting gifts from others. Do as I say, not as I do!
Things were already bad enough until the President’s spokesman released his statement trying to justify the ‘gift’!
When Femi Adesina, President Muhammadu Buhari’s spokesman, says PMB’s lawyer’s N500,000 payment to Justice Ademola was a ‘gift’, not a bribe, he must think that Nigerians are on the bottom of the ladder in the rational thinking food chain!
So if I take a bribe and call it a ‘gift’, according to Femi, it automatically transforms from corruption to ‘gift’? So President Buhari believes in the Transformation Agenda after all! Who would have thought so!
So why can President Buhari’s lawyer give gifts but Andrew Yakubu cannot accept ‘gift’? The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, (EFCC) should just release everybody they are trying because they took ‘gifts’ not bribes. After all, President Buhari and his lawyer have shown us the way!
The Justice Ademola that is currently being tried is accused of taking bribes because people gave him gifts. So why were their gifts proceeds of corruption and Lawyer Awodein’s (Buhari’s lawyer), a proceed of friendship?
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a bribe is defined thus:
1. persuade (someone) to act in one’s favour, typically illegally or dishonestly, by a gift of money or other inducement.
Now if you consider the favourable way the certificate case against the President has being going for him in the matter before Justice Ademola, you may be forgiven if you quote Proverbs 18:14 and say “a man’s gift makes room for him”.
With all apologies to the publishers of the Oxford English Dictionary, let me say that they have to alter the meanings of some words in their dictionary.
With Nigeria’s situation on my mind, I suggest the following edits to the definition of the word, gift
1. New word for BRIBE as approved by the current President Muhammadu Buhari-led Nigerian government for exclusive use of All Progressives Congress members.
And while we are at it, I am feeling some generosity to my readers. If any of my readers will like a GIFT, then they should send me an email. But if they would prefer a BRIBE, then they should send me a hand-written letter instead. If you as my reader do not know the difference, then contact President Muhammadu Buhari’s lawyer!
Everybody gives gifts but some gifts are more equal than others. For tips on giving the EFCC approved gifts, see President Buhari’s lawyer! The DEODORANT has been sprayed on Lawyer Awodein and the INSECTICIDE is being sprayed on Justice Ademola. Now I understand Shehu Sani!
But this President Muhammadu Buhari knows how to code better than Mark Zuckerberg! Look at the code word his team used for the payment made to Justice Ademola. The ‘gift’!
I am tempted to ask what else they have coded. Is the 2017 budget codedly (I invented the word codedly since we are all making edits to the Oxford English Dictionary) padded? Have they coded INEC to produce only inconclusive elections? Is Babachir’s grass-cutting contract a means to get more resources to provide future coded gifts?
In fact, I am reliably informed that APC members give GIFTS while PDP members give BRIBES but if you were once a Peoples Democratic Party member and you are now in the APC, you give GIFTED BRIBE! Now we understand why Rotimi Ameachi said he never gave nor received bribes. As an APC member, maybe he gave and received ‘gifts’. After all, there is nothing wrong with that! Our leader has shown us the way!
And President Buhari is not the only hypocrite in town. His mini-me, Nasir Elrufai, the unofficial Vice President and Khalifa of the Buhari personality cult is as hypocritical as they come.
Many Nigerians were shocked to find out that Malam Nasir Elrufai, the Governor of Kaduna State, instigated the arrest of Audu Maikori, Nigeria’s version of Jay Z and the CEO of Chocolate City, a man who has made many stars including Africa’s number one rapper, MI Abaga.
What is Maikori’s crime in Elrufai’s eyes? That he erroneously tweeted false information that he had been by his driver who misled him for the purpose of obtaining financial favours from him.
When Maikori realised he had been duped, he immediately apologised. But that was not enough for his governor. He was accused of incitement because of his tweets!
But the thing is that the Elrufai that is now so sanctimonious is actually by far guiltier than Audu Maikori in what he accuses him of. In fact, El-Rufai is the grandfather of making false and inviting comments on Twitter and other social media platforms and I will prove it.
On November 25, 2014, Nasir El-Rufai, the current Governor of Kaduna State, in a tweet questioned whether then President Goodluck Jonathan was travelling to Chad to plot attacks with the Chadian President. On September 8, 2014 Elrufai, via a tweet accused then President Jonathan of funding Christians masquerading as Boko Haram and accused the then President of the Christian Association of Nigeria, Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor of being the commander of the so-called Christian Boko Haram. On the same day, he also tweeted that pastor Ayo had been paid N50 billion and a jet for the purpose of his Christian Boko Haram whose purpose was to “tarnish the name of Islam”.
On July 24, 2014 El-rufai, via another tweet, accused then President Jonathan of meeting with his terrorists from Nasarawa State. On January 2, 2014, Elrufai alleged that he was number six on a list of politicians to be assassinated by then President Jonathan. He also claimed that the current President, Muhammadu Buhari, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu and Rotimi Amaechi were on that list.
On November 9, 2013, as then President knelt praying to his God, Elrufai tweeted a picture of the President and said (and I quote) “Many prayers of the lazy, docile, incompetent, clueless, hopeless, useless leader!”
On July 15, 2012, shortly after then President Jonathan had issued an Executive Order to the military to fish out killer Fulani herdsmen that had turned some parts of Plateau state into a theatre of war, Elrufai tweeted the following:
“We will write this for all to read. Anyone, soldier or not that kills the Fulani takes a loan repayable one day no matter how long it takes.”
On January 28, 2013, this same El-rufai had tweeted thus:
“If Jesus criticises Jonathan’s government, Maku, Abati or Okupe will say that he slept with Mary Magdalene”.
On October 2, 2010, Elrufai posted on facebook the lie that the Jonathan administration had spent 64 billion Naira celebrating Independence Anniversaries during its time in office. His exact words were as follows:
“This is the APC/PMB change we
voted for. Independence anniversary expenditure for the past five years: 2011 – N13bn; 2012 -N15bn; 2013 – N14bn; 2014 – N22bn; 2015 N70 million”
Well, a Freedom of Information request was made by activists to the Office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation and even though this administration hates the guts of former President Jonathan, they were forced to admit that Nasir El Rufai lied and that the Jonathan administration spent only N333, 600, 000 for four years to hold independence day celebrations. An amount that is less than 1% of what El Rufai claimed was spent.
As I write this to you, Nasir El-Rufai HAS NOT apologised for shy of these strings of misleading information!
Yet, this is the same El Rufai that has now instigated the arrest of Audu Maikori for allegedly inciting the public by spreading lies. This is the biggest act of HYPOCRISY I have seen and I urge you my reader to individually Google these tweets and facebook posts. Do not take my word for it.
When a man who has a history of falsely attributing such deviousness to Christians (as he did with his September 18, 2014 tweet accusing Christians of being behind Boko Haram) becomes the governor of a state, should we be surprised at the fate that has been visited upon the Christian people of Southern Kaduna?
If you can believe that Christians were behind Boko Haram to “tarnish the name of Islam” as he himself tweeted, who can tell what he would do to get revenge on them when he finds himself in a position to do so as governor?
If without power Nasir El Rufai showed open bias for the Fulani people as he did in his tweet of July 15, 2012, can any reasonable person expect him to be objective while he is in power? That would be like expecting a man who cannot keep his hands off a woman when he is dating her to become chaste with her after he has married her. It is not possible!
Knowing the manipulative tendencies of Nasir El Rufai and his Machiavellian, the-end-justifies-the-means approach to power, I will not be surprised if he starts sponsoring articles against me as a Fulani hater, so let me be pre-emptive.
I love the Fulani. They are perhaps the most beautiful Black people on planet earth. I am now a pastor and have been faithfully married for the last thirteen years to the same woman who I expect to stay married to until Jesus returns or I die, but before then I was in a relationship with a Fulani from Taraba State. I do not need to go into too much detail but suffice to say that I did what most young people would do in a relationship (this was before I re-dedicated my life to Christ).
In the course of that relationship, I visited and spent time in Taraba, in Gembu and Nguroje to be specific. My time was spent with a beautiful clan of Fulani people who would not have minded having me as an in-law. They taught me some Fulfulde and I remember my time with them with nostalgia. I still have pictures from that time.
There is no way I could have got so close to the Fulani and even contemplated becoming their in-law if I did not and do not admire them.
Moreover, perhaps my best friend while I was in Law School (1999-2000) was Abbas Ibrahim, a pure Fulani from Maradun in Zamfara State who now works in the Federal Ministry of Justice, Abuja.
This article is not targeting the Fulani. No. rather, it is identifying one of them who has, perhaps more than anybody else in Nigeria today, sown seeds of discord, hate and division by his words, actions and writings. Nasir El rufai is not an example for Fulatanci and this may explain why he tries so hard to show loyalty to virtues and traits that are a given to the well brought up Fulani I have come to know and respect intimately. His Pulako is doing great harm to the Fulani Peoples of Nigeria.
Finally, let me end this piece by saying that I was so glad to hear President Muhammadu Buhari’s voice as he spoke to Governor Ganduje of Kano State the other day. I hope by this call, people can leave the man to “rest” in London and not disturb him with their eye service visits to him.
To those who have done so and to others who are contemplating doing so, I hope and pray you get treated like the Guardian Newspaper reporter who was almost arrested when the residents of Abuja House (President Buhari’s current residence) called the police to help get rid of him. But just in case you do not get arrested, permit me to write a new version of an Old Nursery Rhyme for you.
Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat Where Have You Been?
I’ve Been to London to See The Queen
Sycophant, Sycophant, Where Have You Been?
I’ve Been to London to See Buhari!
Pix: Buhari3.jpg and El-rufai.jpg