LOUD WHISPER Femi vs Falz : A Falana of Confusion


As I watched the BET Awards last night with Falz the Bahd Guy the handsome son of the increasingly confusing legal luminary doing Nigeria proud in far away America, my thoughts go back to his father. This once upon a time social crusader has been anything but very sound in his recent utterances. From his recent statement that should Governor Ayo Fayose refuse to resign, the Federal Government should sack him.

I refuse to believe that this kind of motor park statement or idea could emanate from the highly respected legal eagle. I still doubt he could have made the statement but if it is true then my initial suspicions of loss of focus will now be confirmed. Mr Falana’s derail from his Olympian heights could easily be traced to his electoral misfortunes which to my mind would have thrown him into the pits of self denial with him not taking the rejection very well. Ever since and anybody has been a target for his increasignly funny attacks.

The former Minister of Finance, Ngozi Okonjo Iweala through the Edo State Governor and one of my favourite people ever since he married that his wife down to our amiable President and now Fayose have been the receipients of his attention. He has muted his ideological positions and continued to embarrassingly throw himself out there stark naked with highly illogical positions. Well sha for me, anytime I remember the Falana name, I think of Falz the bad guy. He is definitely a more competent alternative to his greying father whose days as a major crusader for social justice have long since been over. Maybe he should join his son as a back up singer. He just may rediscover himself as a very effective disc jockey. I tire.

Dino Malaye  to beat Remi Tinubu
Shey I have been saying it. This Dino really needs some kind of psychiatric evaluation or how do you explain a sitting senator of the Federal Republic allegedly threatening to beat up the quintessential representative of African womanhood in all its dignity, my dear mummy Remi Tinubu. I have read it in all the blogs and newspapers and even the Jagaban himself through his spokesperson have responded daring Dino and assuring him that he just may have come to the end of his political career with this recent outpouring. Look Asiwaju, do not bother yourself and tell mummy that this is just the ‘ranting of an ant’. Dino can not do anything, can he even fight? Is it by taking picture on social media and walking around like a retired but failed wrestler that is to fight? If fight is hungering him, why does he not go and join the Army and fight against Boko Haram or better still join the Niger Delta Avengers and see real fight? Is it to be threatening  a woman who I heard only admonished him on his utterances in the hallowed halls of the National Assembly that will make you a senator? Please I am ready to represent mummy in this fight and have begun training as I now challenge you Senator Melaye to a fight to defend the honour of my mummy. The venue must be in Lagos and it must be boxing with no restrictions as I am ready to show you just how we fight in Shomolu. What is it? Are you the only senator in the country. Asiwaju, kindly note this my support as I expect to be rewarded if I come out of this fight alive. Nothing is free o. Just give me small plot of land in Oniru near the Obas Palace and I swear the senator will not be recognised the next time he appears at the Chambers. My dear Senate President, are you sure this is not a liability in your camp? I just dey ask o.

….. And she was killed

The news was heartbreaking. A Redeemed pastor was cut down simply because she was preaching. That this remains one of the saddest news that we all have heard in a while cannot be contested. But what is this country turning into? Are we turning ourselves into a family of babarians-where there is no respect for culture, diversity and the rule of law? Daily, we are assailed with all sorts of depravity– old men raping babies, ritualist going ahead with their business as if it is a legitimate career with no fear. I will drop the blame on our religious institutions. The emphasis on prosperity and private jets have pushed us into this morass where we have all but lost the true essence of life. This blame is on all sides not just the Christian divide but also the Muslim side of it and even herbalists. We have all but lost our moral compass as a nation or how can you explain this kind of dastardly act? People being killed and beheaded over religion. Our institutions must all but redefine themselves and refocus on what our founders both Jesus Christ and Mohammed and sorry including Orunmila or any other deity we all collectively worship preached. My sincere condolences go to the direct family of the deceased even as I pray that they be granted the fortitude to bear this loss which I am sure is irreplaceable. My condolences will not go to the Redeemed Church as an institution for in my heart they share this blame. That will be story for another day. Today, let us share this loss.

President Buhari : please pardon them
This is not the kind of plea the PDP ‘jokers’ went to beg the Ooni of Ife on behalf of Iyiola Omisore . Sir, you should have seen the picture. The old men went flat on their belly prostrating to the highly respected monarch to intervene and get their man released. I laughed. Thankfully, the man has come out to disown them labeling them as jesters which is what they really are. But seriously, this plea is for my friends Saraki and Ekweramndu. If for nothing else, I beg as a result of the effect the continued pursuit of this case will have on our democracy. Please sir, I am on my knees or should I go down like the PDP people to beg. My plea is not based on any fact but purely on an emotional ground. Saraki especially for the past one year has been in and out of one court room after the order not allowing him concentrate on his principal duties as our Senate President. I know if not for pride and people like Malaye egging them on, things would have been different in their thinking and approach to all these issues that has continued to affect your relationships with them. Like you always say, Nigeria is our country and we have no other country and we must all work very hard in keeping it united, kindly do not allow this issue to deteriorate to the point where we would need a referendum on freezing your account or not. This is just a gentle plea from a non-partisan Nigerian and all-round good boy to our leader who has shown an unquenchable resolve to return us as a country to the path of greatness. Abeg no vex sir, may Allah continue to bless you, protect your cows and give you a golden reign as you contemplate this request. And as for Saraki and Ekweremandu, you too stop looking for trouble and please send a basket of fruits to the Villa immediately as penance. Na only advice I can give at this juncture.

That Niger Delta Avengers Video

I saw the video. It was scary and the man in it tried his very best to be as scary as he could be. He threatened everybody and anybody within the Nigerian establishment and even promised to start dealing with the President’s immediate family. This thing is getting too serious o. But what exactly are their grievances? Why all this violence especially after their own kinsman just left power? This our country sef, once one tribe control the centre the other tribes will form militant group and start fighting. Today Boko Haram is quietening down and now the Avengers are bombing and shooting videos. Can we not just have peace in this land? Me I am getting tired of all this whahala o. Everyday bombing, kidnapping, killings and maiming and instead of us to face these issues, Dino is going around threatening to beat up women. Let us have referendum o; let us ask ourselves pertinent questions about our national cohesion- should Dino Malaye be deported or not? Oya voting has started.

Ghana must go – the movie

I have never recommended a movie on this page but I will be doing a great disservice to the producers of this movie if I just watch and keep shut. This was magic on screen. It was my belated birthday outing, remember LASTMA had made sure that I spent my last birthday with them drinking kparaga at their compound after impounding my car. So during the holidays I decided to take my brood to the cinemas. As a true Nigerian I decided to watch a local movie instead of the assortment of Hollywood offerings on display. My people, this movie was ‘laugh a minute’. They tried o, do not let me say much before it will start to look like I am related to them. Just go watch, it is a must-see. Thank you.