Andrea Ekpenyong is an architect who also doubles as the co-founder and lead partner of Antora24 Limited, a construction firm. This certified Life Coach, Neuro Linguistics Programming and Emotional Freedom Techniques Therapist, also wears the hats of an author, relationship and marriage strategist. Her passion is about nurturing marriages from belligerent chaos to happily ever living. In this interview with MARY NNAH, she talks about the launch of her new book titled, “Whimsical Date Nights”, and why she feels marriages need to take dating as therapeutic solutions
You are the latest author around. How long have you nursed this dream?
Writing has always been a passion from as long as I can remember, so much so that when the neighbourhood needed a child to write to the authority for our children’s park, I was unanimously chosen.
So you wrote a book about dating in marriages. Why?
By the 4th year in our marriage, I realised that we had gotten so busy being married but there was a gap. Something was missing. We found that dating before marriage was fun and easy but had become consumed by life and starting a family at the detriment of our marriage so I started reading and researching simple ways to bring back the sparks.
You are postulating that married people invest more in their dating games, why?
I often get asked; “why should we date in marriage? Why not just reserve it for special occasions instead?” When people come with me using these arguments, I usually counter them by asking; “Why do you think you found it easier to go on dates before you got married?” It is disheartening to see that we find it necessary to date to get married but can’t find the time to date to stay married. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured and what you will learn in the pages of this book will show you how best to enjoy and have fun in your marriage.
You seem to have a hat in many industries. How do you manage? Construction, Coaching, e.t.c
They are not mutually exclusive as the key in both coaching and construction, supporting the client towards attaining their desired outcome.
What prepared you for this assignment? Writing a book on marriage, relationship and dating is quite a road for the experienced and called. I believe you agree with me.
Years of training, lots of research, life experiences, using my marriage as the testbed. I also had the experiences of others I leveraged.
How long have you been married and why do you think that with that number of years of marriage you are qualified to advise on relationships and marriage?
My husband and I have been together for 18 years and married for 10 years, being with someone for that long comes with years of experience coupled with years of research and qualifies me to advise on relationship and marriage.
There are many outlets and online resource centres these days. YouTube inclusive, why should someone bother buying this book when they can get dozens and tons of counsels free online?
Most online resources are for dating not married couples and they more often leave you with more questions. This book is an answer to dating in marriage.
How best does this book work? To read as a couple or read as separate individuals or how exactly do you prescribe this book as a medication for a lot of needing marriages?
This is more or less a dating manual. It includes activities you’re advised to practice as often as required until dating becomes your preferred lifestyle.
What’s the most romantic date you had with your husband?
There are too many to choose from but we both had a really intense day sometime in February and we decided to play a game to wind down, we literally ended up staying awake all night gisting and laughing so hard reminiscing on our dating years. We ended up at work with puffy eyes but it was well worth it.
Tell me one great thing that came out from that date?
It was a reaffirmation that positive thoughts and actions to life’s curveball and pitfalls results in a better and much happier outlook. Also you don’t need to break the bank to date your spouse as sometimes simplicity and spontaneity are all the fun you need.
What’s been the feedback from those that have read the book?
The feedback has been fantastic. The general feedback is the timeliness of the book and how something often considered simple or inconsequential as dating can be the bedrock to a happily ever after.
Your book is published by Worital. What was the experience with the publishing company like?
Working with Worital was an absolute delight and a very professional experience, so much so that though it is my first published book I understood everything that was required at every step and the published book came out fantastic.
Tell us when the book is hitting the book stands, where we can get them and if possible how much is a copy?
Pre-orders are currently ongoing online. The book would hit the stands on the 19th of June. The book would be available to order online from https://shor.by/marriageNurturer The ecopy can also be purchased from Bambooks Okadabooks and Amazon both prints and ebook
And what else would you like to share with the readers?
Majority of couples got married after dating for a while. It is disheartening to see that we find it necessary to date to get married but can’t find the time to date to stay married. Dating in marriage is about creating new memories while on the old. It’s about connecting with your spouse irrespective of how busy life gets, dating has been proven to improve intimacy among couples so it shouldn’t be a special occasion activity but a lifestyle geared towards building a happy home.
