These were the words that first came out of the highly respected Vice President of Nigeria, the only venerable Prof Yemi Osinbajo after I asked him the earth-shaking question at the Wole Olanipekun Justice Forum last Saturday. Shebi you people are taking small eye be looking at me. Be sitting there and be saying that I am not combing my hair. Look, I am no longer a small person again in this country o. See when a whole vice president calls my name after I ask him earthquake question. It was my brother, brilliant Bode Olanipekun (SAN), who invited me to be a rapporteur in his conference that had apart from the greatest vice president ever, some of the most brilliant legal minds in the country in attendance and speaking. People like Prof Odita, Prof. Pat Utomi and plenty justices and learned people o. Na me Bode chose to ask the first question.
As the VP was talking, I was just shaking o. You know the man can talk. He talked about the importance of institutionalized justice delivery and its effect on social justice and equity. I sit down there trying to follow. I pose o. That is how my daughter, Zara on her way to go and raid the refrigerator, stumbled on the VP and screamed, dropping the piece of cake – Joe! It is Osinbajo! In our parlour, she screamed. I smiled, these ones think na small papa dem get. Yes. It was Osinbajo; I am asking him question. So by the time Bode called on me for my question, the whole family was prepared. I made sure everybody bathe. You know Chantal will not bath until 4 pm after a Netflix binge which takes her the whole night. Duchess even Omotola, Estate Chairman, Treasurer everybody. Only Ex-Chairman no come. That one is still vexing over lost elections, na him business. Duchess tie gele, put make-up and wear high heel. Position beside me so that no yellow ‘babe’ will come and try her. The moment came, the moment Akwa Ibom and Shomolu finally registered in national politics, Bode screamed- here is the Duke of Shomolu Hon. JOSEPH EDGAR. I mute, run go piss, luckily na wrapper I tie so he easy.
That is how I drop this bombshell: Mr. VP, there is a total disconnect between the people and the justice system as confidence has been totally obliterated and that is why we are resorting to ‘self-help’ which if not carefully handled will put us on the road to apathy as we are seeing in some parts of the country and in some cases like rape. I continued – there is a palpable feeling of helplessness amongst all of us…… by the time I finished I was hungry and in response, the VP, the VP oh, not a local government chairman oh; two-time elected VP call my name o. I press pause. I stop am there. No more. QED. Everybody listen. I need a new title. This Duke of Shomolu is now too little abeg. Bro Osinbajo well done, God bless you as you comot shame for my eyes for this estate wey dey take small eyes look me.