Loud Whispers With Joseph Edgar

Blessing CEO: The Saga Continues

This beautiful but controversial social media influencer went on air to announce that she has stage four cancer. She didn’t stop at that; she begged Nigerians to come to her aid and dropped an account number. I now rushed to give her N7,000 of my hard-earned money. I felt for her for two reasons: one, breast cancer is on an epidemic stage as it is ravaging our female population.

It is not what we should be joking about. I have already adopted one patient. She first went in for treatment some years ago, and I covered the cost, and today, it has resurfaced, and we are struggling with raising the initial cost of treatment.

So, when Blessing came out, I was more than touched. The second reason was that I had met her during an appearance on Ruth Osime’s show and had hit it off with her.

So you can imagine my shock when reports started coming out that the whole thing may have just been a scam. The medical reports she had presented as evidence were allegedly fake. Observers claim that the report belongs to someone else, and I am hearing that the victim’s family have come out to threaten a lawsuit.

The phone number that is on the report also allegedly belongs to a “mallam” who has never heard of her.

As I write, I am seeing a report that she is insisting that she has cancer, but not at stage four and all that.

I am sad that Blessing could use something as serious as breast cancer that is ravaging the country to play. Nonsense.  

Nasir El-Rufai: For Mother’s Sake

The clip at the mosque during El-Rufai’s mother funeral continues to intrigue me. I have watched that clip so many times that it has truly become very unhealthy. If you have been living under a rock, let me quickly give you a summary.

El-Rufai has been a consistent thorn in the flesh of this government since he failed the entrance examination to be a minister. In the process, he has picked on the President Tinubu and other, including the National Security Adviser. That one has suffered in his hands, as there is no kind of name that he has not called him. So, to mute him, his tenure as Kaduna State Governor comes into focus, and the ICPC moves in. They first attempted an arrest at the airport on his return from Egypt, which was aborted by many “mallams.”

Then, under the euphoria of temporary victory, oga “loose guard” and proclaims that he “listens to the NSA’s phone”, saying that “we have our ways.” This ramps up the tension, and his arrest becomes a top priority. He was invited by the EFCC and DSS, and from there, I don’t know again o, all I know is that the guy has lost his freedom since then.

Then his mother dies. His case is still in court, he is still under custody awaiting bail hearing, and he is suddenly released to go and bury his mother, and there we see the clip that I am talking about.

That clip in the mosque had all the combatants not only in this saga but in the Nigerian comedy of errors in full glare and in the front row, all in their ‘babaringa’, holding their prayer beads and pretending to be “holy.”

Even our Peter Obi, in his traditional black, crawled in and positioned himself. Everybody from both sides of the divide was there o. It was only, maybe, President Tinubu that was not there, but if you look closely, he would have sent a representative.

Then immediately after the whole thing, they “catch” him again, throw him into the slammer and postpone his bail hearing.

Now, what is the lesson in this matter, you want to ask me? All I will say at this point is if you don’t know, forget abourrit. Thank you.

The Fayoses: Never-Ending Drama

One is Ayo, a former Governor and the other is Isaac, a businessman and a social activist. Both are brothers, not sure if from the same mother, but definitely from the same father. Now they have been at loggerheads for years, and the fight has been very public, with them tearing each other to shreds shamelessly.

The private part of their fight is of no interest to the rest of us, as families have these issues. Whatever is biting them inside is not our concern, but it is the public part of it that concerns us, and that is what I will speak to.

Both represent different tendencies to Nigerians in the public part of their fight. What Ayo represents to us cannot be named. It is squiggly and slimy. You cannot hold it as it is irritatingly anti-people and self-serving. Sycophantic and annoying as he continues to wine and dine with the people who continue to exacerbate our pain as a people.

Isaac, on the other hand, is strict and unabashedly firm with the people. He spews his truth with the boldness of an erudite social scholar. He tells us like it is without caring whose ox is gored, and this brings him into confrontation with his brother, which he wastes no time in taking to the slammer.

In this fight, I am vehemently in support of Isaac, and he should continue to stand for what is right and what is for the good of society. This case shows that two very distinct “bloodlines” can come out from one lion; after all, na one person born Jacob and Esau. Isaac, keep flying. History will reward you. As for your egbon, whatever a man sows he will reap. We are all here. Thank you. Can someone come and beat me?

A Mother’s Resolute Cry

One image came out of the recent Jos massacre that captured the pain of this unending tragedy and held a whole country in tears.

There she was, cuddling her son, refusing to accept reality – no, he did not die, he is a strong man, he will soon wake up – she kept muttering as she cuddled his head on the breast that he once suckled. Her tears moving and dropping on his bloodied face, she continued to cradle his head and, in both tears and prayers, she waited for his recompense.

He did not come back, he would not come back, he had been macheted out of existence with a withered country waving him goodbye as its leaders wallow in the “nero” like ambience of pleasure seeking a second term in the midst of these.

Jos was the latest flash point in a bloody journey that has seen Nigerians lose more lives than in the Civil War. Successive governments seem to have no answer to this tragedy.

This is not heaping the blame on the Tinubu government; they can only just try. Every government since this thing started has had no effective response, and even this one, with all the American boots and drones, is even witnessing more deaths than ever.

What do we do? Make we just carry everybody that has died, their blood and paint it on all of our doorways in the hope that when it happens next, they will pass over because that is just how helpless we truly are. Where we are now is to be counting the days as we wait for the inevitability of our collective death at the hands of these merchants who kill, maim, and burn with impunity without any resultant pushback by the government.

My advice? We wait, because our death as a nation is certain. We wait. Thanks.

UNILAG Hostel of Controversy

Ok, here is my confusion. If you drive towards Akoka, you will pass the front of the amazing University of Lagos, and you will be confronted by this huge and very ugly building. It is the Femi Gbajabiamila hostel. You cannot miss it because it is monstrously huge, and as if that was not enough, you will see the monstrous signpost – FEMI GBAJABIAMILA HOSTEL.

Mbok, the first thing that will come to your mind is to immediately thank Mr. Gbaja for this significant philanthropic gesture that speaks to a serious problem in our tertiary education – accommodation. This problem is so serious that it impacts negatively on the pursuit of quality education. So when a high-profile man like this decides to drop something of this nature, you cannot help but say well done.

Even me, I went a step further to make enquiries. I met the people managing the hostel and the young lady who is the Managing Director of the family-owned enterprise – they are from Ekiti – said, “Edgar, Gbaja started it, but we finished it, and the university gave us guidelines for managing it. They fix the price and make sure we don’t go above it so that students can afford it.”

Now there is a controversy, as a report that I have seen says that the N950,000 per annum charged is above the means of the average student.

Wetin concern me in this matter? I don’t give two hoots if not even one single student can afford the box room or not, my own is that in that report, it was stated that the building was built with public funds and as such, the pricing must be commiserate.

My own is, if it was built with public funds, why mislabel the thing, making me look at Gbaja with better eye. Why not say – Femi Gbaja: a project funded by “abccccc”, so we know that we are just honouring him with the building instead of doing a statue for him?

Mbok, they should just immediately clear the air, before I run mad ooo. Abeg, who built that hostel? Is it Gbaja or is it the government? If you see how this thing is paining me. Who built this thing ooo.

Rabiu Kwankwaso: Let the Games Begin

Now, opposition is beginning to show some small signs of seriousness. Kwankwaso has joined ADC, and the levels have changed. What is remaining now is for Atiku to be patriotic and step down, and let’s have an Obi-Kwankwaso ticket, and then begin to have a real contest.

I am not hiding my mouth; if Atiku insists, then he will be confirming what is being speculated in almost every bathroom in this country that he is working for Tinubu. An Atiku candidacy has passed its sell-by date, and we thank him for all he has done for Nigeria since he donned the customs uniform till date. What he should now be doing to immortalise himself as a hero of democracy is to step down and support the ticket so that we can have a small hope.

Tinubu is at his strongest, I cannot lie, and what is needed is not a raggedy and faltering attempt at contesting but a viral, vibrant and obviously resilient machinery that an Obi and Kwankwaso ticket can deliver.

You see that immediately Kwankwaso joined, INEC reacted. They shout, “Oh, we do not recognise any faction of the ADC, we will not eat eba with David Mark again, and please don’t call our name in that your ADC house again.” This sends an encouraging signal that there is concern within the establishment as ADC begins to find virality. As El-Rufai is hobbled, albeit temporally with legal issues, the house must also be distracted so that they will not be able to stand up. But this Obi-Kwankwaso matter will scatter all that permutation and fly.

My own is that I hate bullying. What is happening within the opposition is just state bullying. Let’s have a beautiful contest complete with debates, strategies, campaigns and let’s have fun doing it. It’s not this one that you have bullied everybody into one party, and then we will now see a “shooed in Presidency,” that’s not fun, abeg. Let’s have the debates, let’s have fiery speeches, let’s have another emilokan-type declaration, let’s see people jump into helicopters running all over the place talking, pleading, engaging for the vote. That is the fun of democracy. Thank you.

Chief Solomon Eziko: An Igboman at the Cape

If I talk now, they will say I hate Igbo people. Shebi they have carried their loud insensitivity to South Africa. You see a country that does not like you in the first place, where they have been killing you at the slightest opportunity- what is that name that they have been calling it- and you now decide to go and crown one of your kings there.

Well, what you were looking for, shebi you have seen it na. Those ones have reacted violently, and everybody is running helter-skelter, that even the federal government has asked all Nigerians, including Akwa Ibom people who are just minding their business, to keep a low profile.

It’s only you who will make N10 million and be crowning yourself “Eze Ego.” Only you will build one small house and name it a mansion. With all this loudness and wealth display, you still don’t have anybody on the Forbes list, and your region remains underdeveloped.

Abeg, I just tire. You guys can call me anything you want to or even accuse me of overgeneralization, I don’t care because this whole thing is tiring. Everybody is a billionaire, everybody and everything is loud and noisy. Which one is the coronation of a king in another man’s country that is so restive and sensitive? A country that is still struggling to find a racial identity, and you carry your own noise and go there. Na wa. Crap.

Tunde Okoya: A Reluctant Prison Visitation

When I finish writing, I will have my bath, wear clothes and go and join my brother, Tunde Okoya, on a visit to KiriKiri Prison. Now there are two things I fear in this life – Prison and HIV. Please don’t even mention those two things near me. Now this handsome man wants to take me to prison on a visit. I have tried to dodge, giving all the excuses that I can muster, and he refused. Please, my people, I will go, and I hope they will let me come back. Stay tuned because I will write my experiences for you guys. Buy this paper next week, ooo.