Ferdinand Ekechukwu
Dateline: June 2, 2012 at 10am. Venue: Ikoyi Registry, Lagos. Couple: Kafayat Shafau (Kaffy) and Joseph Ameh. Solemn Declaration: For better for worse till death do us part. And so the union was formally instituted in the presence of family members, friends and industry colleagues. 8-9 years down the line, all doesn’t seem as it was. No more feelings. Their aspiration wasn’t their expectation, or rather, their expectation wasn’t their aspiration.
The option left is to manage but for how long? It’s not just working and may not work anymore, Kaffy concludes. She says it was chemistry but not all chemistry is meant for registry. She then likened the institution of marriage to bagging a Ph.D, noting that it required hard work (By the way, she got an honorary doctorate degree). The popular dance instructor and fitness coach would then state that marriage “is not the way many people view it”…
She avowed that the wrong perception of people about marriage can be fixed if people can change their mindset. At this point she got Nigerians, especially her fans and followers thinking and talking on social media. What’s happening they asked? When did she turn therapist? She had earlier in a post she made within a month interval about marriage and what people expect from it advised men and women to wisely chose who to love and submit to.
She then concludes that women have been conditioned to live a life that needs a man to validate their existence, stating that it’s contrary to their purpose. The mother of two had also stated that men are busy searching for what is not right in the lives of the women they meet. In all of her talk about marriage within that period six months back, the award-winning dancer wasn’t ready to disclose that she and her partner has estranged. She was still musing.
There has been speculation that the lovebirds have been separated since 2020. But the fear of the pandemic was more favoured than the fallout of their union. Ameh, the music director and former drummer for Nigerian duo P-Square isn’t the loquacious type and doesn’t appear so. Kaffy is the one that is often seen and heard. She also dances for Psquare from way back. In fact, at the Psquare ‘Reactivated’ concert in December, Kaffy was on fire!
That ‘touching body thing’ in their dance moves may have long discomforted Ameh. Who knows but he doesn’t talk… Kaffy was thrust into the limelight in 2006 when she led her dance group to break the Guinness Book of Record for “Longest Dance Party” after they danced for 55 hours and 40 minutes. Six years after, she got married to Ameh.
Although the couple is successful in their own right, Kaffy, had during her Special Recognition Award at the Headies2018 got emotional in her acceptance speech that she called Ameh on stage while dedicating the award to him that her success has been possible by the support given to her by her hubby and family.
Until her revelation this week of their marital issue during one of the episodes of her podcast, JustKaffy, on Monday night, Kaffy never realized their destinies weren’t at par, as she claimed. According to her, marriage was supposed to be an alignment of destinies but that was not the case in her union. Giving snippets of her marital misfortune, Kaffy explained: “Taking the chance to break off our marriage was also to see that we both grow to become what we are supposed to be.
“Marriage is supposed to be an alignment of destiny, that’s, for couples to drive to a place God wants for them. And mine didn’t work out that way. And rather than looking at someone as the problem, sometimes, you could be the problem of that person. So, you know, being an enabler of someone not being able to do what they’re supposed to do can also be that you’re not supposed to be in that space.”
As if to justify her reason, Kaffy posted thus on her Instagram page: “Separation isn’t the end of life for both parties involved. In fact if you both are honest about why you have to go apart, you will realize how much better life can be. Some people make it back, some don’t. What is ultimate is the outcome borne out of love! We live in a world that has created a cage even as we were born.
“We only know what we are allowed to know. It’s fine to know for who you can be, our creator is limitless and so are we. Discover you and let that attract who should be in your space.”
