BOLA TINUBU – AGE JUST A NUMBER

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Let me declare last week the Bola Ahmed Tinubu week. Mbok, the daddy seized our imagination and made him the only subject of discussion in Nigeria. First, he decided to fall somewhere, and that video went everywhere. Falling or stumbling is a normal thing. After all, President Biden has been falling and rolling on the floor all over the place, so what is the issue here? But not when you are Tinubu. Tinubu falling is a major news headline. I just tire. People spent productive hours discussing and analysing the fall. Nothing I have not heard. Mbok, anybody that has not stumbled in this life should please stand up and be counted. As that one was trending, his birthday was announced.

This was the cake. They say he is 69; his Wikipedia page was immediately assaulted. They say they attached the thing over 80 times. Pictures of him with his age mates like Abacha and MKO were released, and calculations started. In fact, some people have tried to bribe those close to him to collect either his saliva or bottle his fart for precise analysis at the Pfizer lab, those people that do the covid vaccine for better elucidation to come up with his real age.

Nothing I have not heard, I have heard 70. I have heard 80. I have even heard 108, which is plausible, especially if you see how he drawls when he talks. As if that was not enough, daddy now comes and says Buhari should deliver 50 million Nigerian youths into the army. They later corrected it and said five million.

But the damage had been done. I do not believe my own Tinubu could have made that statement. My own Tinubu is much more connected to the dynamics of the world than that statement. The bobo fall my hand. The army of the future na drone-led. Not this one that you will be throwing bodies at issues. Obama used almost no soldier in most of his battles as president; that is where the world is going; not carrying people looking for food to eat and giving them weapons and calling them soldiers. To me, daddy was hacked, not him. Then finally, another video of some busybody going through a particular newspaper that daddy is rumoured to be involved in carrying over 80 pages of adverts celebrating his birthday. The clip ended with the man saying he would fight for a refund since nothing was in the paper.

So, my take on this is very simple. This man is emerging as the only serious figure as we begin to move into 2023. I see his moves o: the Ganduje angle, the donation to the Katsina fire, the colloquium in the North – mummy attending or not and the courtesy calls to some places show a general getting ready and warming up. The rest of us be doing social media and be calling the man the horn of Satan. The man is moving. For me, whoever is ready, we will support; enough of the emotional gibberish. Abi, is it on Instagram that we will vote for youths? Is it on WhatsApp that we will vote for a new breed? If Tinubu is working and working well, we will look at him no matter the age. But seriously, daddy, is it true that you are close to 100? I really doubt o.