I am sure one oga in that DSS as he sees this title will quickly carry him glasses to read well and be asking who is this Duke of Shomolu. Mbok, no vex, na just tactic to make Nigerians who like drama to come and read the piece. Na style of writing o, baba no vex. Anyhow, that is how we started seeing reports that these two have been invited for whatever reasons. Me, I don’t use to believe things like that o, so I took it with a pinch of salt, and thankfully so, I saw another report denying that this ever happened.

You see for Don Jazzy, me I really don’t care. I no too like am because he will be doing like person that just wake up every time. He will be wearing pyjamas and be singing like say na him get Shomolu but Tiwa, oh my Tiwa, that girl is beautiful. A nightingale.

Every time I watch her videos or watch her on stage, I will be asking myself which kind of life did I come that I cannot make this bewitching beauty my wife. Her looks, her carriage and her beauty are all just enthralling and I beg anybody who want to arrest her to kindly go ahead as this will give me the opportunity to bail her and finally get her attention. So this is my clarion call to all arresting authorities including LASTMA and even Fire Brigade, please arrest Tiwa Savage immediately.

The only thing I will beg for is for the arrest to happen after my tenant pays her rent and after I don pay GTB the money I dey owe them so that I will have enough balance to not only bail her but fly her to Uyo for a romantic weekend with bowls and bowls of freshly-made afang.

Is somebody listening? Can this be done urgently? It’s my right as a freeborn Nigerian. Arrest her now!