ByÂ Ebere Wabara
WE celebrate you today (a comma) 14th June, 2018 (another comma) on the occasion of your 80th Birthday Anniversaryâ€ (Full-page advertorial from the Board, Management and Staff of Metropolitan Motors Limited, Vanguard, June 4) â€˜Birthdayâ€™ and â€˜anniversaryâ€™ cannot co-function.
â€œ80 happy cheers to an accomplished entrepreneurâ€ (Source: as above) Are there â€˜unhappy cheers? Perhaps, the script writer meant â€˜hearty cheersâ€™. Cheerfulness symbolizes happiness.
â€œâ€¦appeal to the discredited tactics of past times also wreaks havoc on the procedural sanctity of the democratic path.â€ About three weeks ago, I inadvertently corrected â€˜past timesâ€™ to â€˜pastimesâ€™ in my interventions. One of my ardent readers, Baba Ilesha, called my attention to it. The extract was right. I apologize for my fixationâ€”not ignorance.
â€œâ€¦his wife and family members at the funeral mass of (for)Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â their father, late (the late)â€¦.â€ (THISDAY Front Page Caption, May 19) Since it was a funeral mass, there was no point adding â€˜lateâ€™ before the manâ€™s name as fatality had been implied.
â€œHerdsmen (Herdsmenâ€™s) killings: Enough of condolence visitsâ€ (Source: as above)
â€œAIG orders arrests (arrest) of 3 policemenâ€
â€œFear as kidnappers lay siege on (to) Dandume, Sadumeâ€
â€œAnambra street traders, hawkers risk two weeks (weeksâ€™) jailâ€
â€œWe drove into Chiefâ€™s house without any incidence.â€ (THISDAY Back Page Pendulum, May 19) There is a clinical distinction between â€˜incidenceâ€™ and â€˜incidentâ€™, which applies here.
From THISDAY to DAILY SUN of May 23: â€œHalt your second term (second-term) campaign, CAN tells Buhariâ€
â€œOver 10,000 protests (protest) in Nsukka, demand end to violenceâ€
â€œThe 12 basic demands of the Trump administration as enunciated by Secretary Pompeo on Monday was (were) proofs of American arrogance.â€ (Voice of The Nation EDITORIAL, May 23)
â€œFayemi suspends campaign to mourn late APC chieftainâ€ (Source: as above) Ekiti Guber (Governorship): Do we mourn the living?
â€œâ€¦tells tales of woes, lives under bridgeâ€ (Abuja Metro, May 23) Get it right: tales of woe
â€œGlo launches all-expenses-paid (all-expense-paid) promoâ€
â€œIN appreciation and thanksgiving to God Almighty for a life of accomplishment (accomplishments) we, the members ofâ€¦do hereby announce the departure to eternal glory of our patriach (sic)â€¦.â€ Glorious exit: why not simply â€˜we, the members ofâ€¦announceâ€¦â€™ and this: patriarch. â€˜Do herebyâ€™ is Elizabethan English used in the civil service and judiciary as part of its legalese.
â€œEagles (Eaglesâ€™) camp bubbles asâ€¦arrive (arrive in) Uyoâ€
â€œWhistle-blower (Whistle blowing): FG concludes investigation on (into) 534 casesâ€¦secures 4 convictions (conviction)â€ (Page Two Business, DAILY SUN, May 28)
â€œNaval personnel kills suspected cult leader in Imoâ€ News around the City: â€˜personnelâ€™ is a collective noun and cannot be used as extracted. So, depending on the rank of the person involved, it becomes â€˜naval ratingâ€™ or â€˜naval officerâ€™â€”certainly not â€˜personnelâ€™.
â€œNDLEA arrests father of 2 over (for) cannabis in Edoâ€
From National News of May 28 comes the next headline blunder: â€œCampaign against drug abuse, Buhari charges Governorsâ€™ Wives (Wivesâ€™) Forumâ€
Daily Sun Editorial of May 28circulated three lapses: â€œApart from the NNPC, other revenue generating (revenue-generating) agencies affected by the order includeâ€¦.â€
â€œâ€¦said that (sic) the auditing of the agencies has (had) been extended to cover the period from 2015 to 2017â€¦.â€
â€œThat is one sure way to ensure that the malfeasance does not occur again.â€ This way: the malfeasance does not recur.
â€œPilots raise alarm (the alarm) over landing safetyâ€
â€œâ€¦integrity and humility to governance in Enugu State is an attestation of your sterling qualities as a visionary leader.â€ 3 years of giant strides: are attestations to yourâ€¦.
â€œGiant strides in urban and rural development with a (sic) limited resourcesâ€¦.â€
Daily Sun Editorial of May 30 assaulted the English language half-a-dozen times: â€œIt is, indeed, senseless to attack the court, the sacred temple of justice (another comma) a few months before the 2019 general elections (election).â€
â€œThe attackâ€¦is an affront on (to) the judiciary.â€ â€œThe police must make frenetic effort (a frenetic effort or frenetic efforts) to fish out those behind the attack as well as their sponsors.â€
â€œThey should be prosecuted and severe punishment meted to (meted out to) those found guilty of the offence.â€ It would have been tidy if the sentence had ended at â€˜guiltyâ€™.
Wrong: Christian wake-keeping
Right: Christian wake or just wake
â€œâ€¦I have been to nearly 27 countries in Africa to study their economy (economies).â€ (Politics & Power, June 4)
â€œEkweremadu flags off (launches) water scheme to end scarcity in constituencyâ€ (South East News, June 4)
â€œTruly, Mr. Projects (Projectsâ€™) Doctorâ€™s (Doctorsâ€™) Quarters, Port Harcourtâ€¦
â€œOver the counter (Over-the-counter) purchase of PTAâ€ (Full-page advertisement by Fidelity Bank PLC)
â€œCatholic priests protest against killingsâ€ (National News, June 6) Yank off â€˜againstâ€™ because it is otiose.
â€œâ€¦laws that hitherto vested the sole approving authority of mining licences and their regulation on (in) the Federal Government.â€ (Daily Sun Editorial, June 6)
â€œâ€¦and those of other state governments which anniversary falls on same day (on the same day)â€
â€œUnder bridge (Under-bridge) occupants: Abujaâ€™s new threatâ€ (Abuja Metro Banner, June 6)
â€œ2 Anambra communities end over 90 years land disputeâ€ (Oriental News, June 6) For peace to reign: over-90 yearsâ€™ land dispute
â€œNsukka council chair, others pays (sic) last respectâ€ Writing right: last respects
â€œRape for food (Rape-for-food): Fireworks over sex allegations against soldiers at IDP campsâ€ (Abuja Metro, June 6)
â€œ9mobile unveils vehicle tracking (vehicle-tracking) solutionâ€
â€œOsinbajo to intervene in Lagos, luxury bus owners (ownersâ€™) face-offâ€
â€œAPC group sensitises (sensitizes, preferably) members on (to) partyâ€™s national conventionâ€ (Daily Sun Headline, June 6)