From Me To You
Let’s talk about sex (II)
ast week, we started this talk about sex. It is very important we talk about this because sex is ‘in vogue’. Everywhere you turn, there’s a symbol of sex; on television, billboards, magazines, social media, on the streets, in the theatre – in fact, sex sells and it’s just everywhere.
Being in our faces makes sex seem easy and a walk-through act; but that’s far from the truth. The truth as we discussed last week (check: www.thisdaylive.com; www.teensconnectmag.com; , is that sex is more complicated than you can ever imagine.
Today, we shall continue with more down sides of sex:
• Teenage pregnancy:
The pills: Teenage pregnancy is the one screaming reason you should avoid sex as teenagers, especially as girls. Don’t bank on the use of condom to avert pregnancy; its potency rate is not 100%. Do not also rely on contraceptives because that also could fail- and it does fail. Again, long use of oral contraceptives has adverse effects. Studies have shown that long exposure to oral contraceptives can cause heart attack and even stroke in an individual. It is also known to increase the risk of cancer of the cervix. It can cause high blood pressure and what is known as ‘Venous Thromboembolism’ which is the clotting of blood in the veins. The use of pills also produces other minor side effects such as nausea, tenderness of the breasts, weight gain or loss – depending on the individual and constant headaches, among others.
Abortion is a single word, but the complications that come with it are legion. Many young girls have lost their lives during this process. Many others who are lucky to survive the procedure are most likely to come off with damaged wombs or cervix, infections, or worst still, Vesico Vaginal Fistula (VVF) resulting from crude attempts as a result of patronage of quacks. Sadly, these quacks abound and are more accessible to timid teenagers than qualified medical practitioners whom they are often afraid to approach. VVF is a urinary defect in women caused by damage to the bladder. Women with VVF leak urine from their vagina without control. However, if one is lucky to survive all these, the feeling of guilt will haunt the person for life; especially, when this individual marries and for reasons that cannot be explained medically, is unable to bear children.
• Disruption of educational pursuits: Show me a secondary school that allows pregnant teenagers in the class and I will tell you of a school that is yet to come into existence. Meaning that, the moment a girl gets pregnant while still in the secondary school; she should kiss education good bye until the baby arrives, sometimes years after the baby is born. If the girl is already in the university, no one will ask her to leave, but her strength and finance may not carry her through – as am yet to see a parent that would willingly continue to support an unmarried pregnant daughter in school. When the baby comes, she will take time off to nurse the baby before getting back on track- if she’s lucky to. Some people never recover from this; their lives take a total new turn.
• The stigma of a ‘bastard’ child: Another unpleasant result of teenage pregnancy is the possibility of giving birth to a child without an identifiable paternity. This is most common with promiscuous teenagers. As a result of their promiscuity they find it difficult to pinpoint the man responsible for the pregnancy. The men in her life may not help matters either, as they may all deny responsibility each not truly knowing if actually he was responsible or not. Now, what do you do with such a child? How do you raise such a child without the attendant frustrations?
Other implications and positive actions to take, to avoid falling victims are contained in the book: “Your Future in Your Hands….drugs, sex and human trafficking, what the teenager should know” – written by me.
See ya’all in 2018, God willing. Until then, ensure you live positively.
The Little Tea Cup
There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary.
They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups.
Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked “May we see that? We’ve never seen a cup quite so beautiful.”As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, “You don’t understand. I have not always been a teacup.
There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me, pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, “Don’t do that.
I don’t like it! Let me alone,” but he only smiled, and gently said, “Not yet.”
I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was made to suit himself and then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat.
I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. “Help! Get me out of here!”
I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, “Not yet.”
When I thought I couldn’t bear it another minute, the door opened.
He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf-life, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! “Ah, this is much better,” I thought.
But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over.
The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag.
“Oh, please, stop it, stop, I cried.” He only shook his head and said, “Not yet.”
Then suddenly he puts me back in to the oven.
Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate.
I was convinced I would never make
it. I was ready to give up.
Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering, “What’s he going to do to me next?”
An hour later he handed me a mirror and said, “Look at yourself.” And I did.
I said, “That’s not me. That couldn’t be me. It’s beautiful. I’m beautiful!”
Quietly he spoke: “I want you to remember.
I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you’d have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped,
you would have crumbled.
I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn’t put you there, you would have cracked.
I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn’t
done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn’t put you back in that second oven, you wouldn’t have survived for long because the hardness would not have held.
are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you.”
The moral of this story is this: God knows what He’s doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay.
He will mold us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect.
Credit: Thaku Chugani
Past District Governor, Lions Clubs Int’l, District 404, Nigeria