Babatunde Fashola: it is N45,000 !!!!!!!!!!

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Loud Whispers

My Lord that is my monthly Power Bill o. I am sorry to disturb you with this small matter considering the fact that you are controlling three big ministries and also are currently battling the National Assembly on things that have to do with your budget. But you will agree with me that it is the one that concerns me that I will talk about and not the one that concerns you. You see, I live in a modest apartment in Yaba. I had just moved into the apartment just across the border of Shomolu where I was born and lived all my life hence my title as the Duke of Shomolu. Immediately I moved into the new estate, I noticed that nobody had pre paid meters despite the continued announcement that the meters were readily available and free.

My daddy, as we speak we have not been able to get this meters o and as such, we are saddled with this post paid system that seems to have a life of its own. Four days into my existence in this new abode, I was given a bill of N13,000 for just four days of usage. I should have shouted at that point o, but I kept quiet only for me to be given N47,000 after 30 days. Meaning that in 34 days, I have spent N60,000 on just PHCN. If I continue at this rate, I would be spending about N600,000 at the end of the year thereby effectively castrating myself. So you see this my plea to you. Do not vex that I am carrying this little matter to you but the truth is that we are plenty, running into millions who are suffering like this and lest I forget, we did not see power for more than one week during this month o. Your people say it is usage, they ask me how many TV sets I have in the house and how many wives. I wonder how the number of wives will affect my power bill.

But anyway, I am now living in fear, because I have finally paid the money, thanks to my Esusu and would simply jump into the lagoon if the same amount is charged me next month. Since they say it is usage, I have decided to move my family into one room, leaving the other four rooms vacant. So now we use only the appliances in that one room in a bid to put in check this errant power bill. Dear Sir, is there anything you can do on this matter, I would be very grateful if you could set up a small committee  headed by your predecessor in office to look critically at this matter with a view to submitting its findings to you for onward implementation of its resolution before you are distracted by the budget padding wahala. Try to resolve this matter  before the thing make me go join the call for Biafra o.

Queen’s College : Three Deaths Too Many
You know I did not quite follow this tragedy but sometime last week I found a news story about it and it caught my imagination. Three young children just lost their lives needlessly as a result of negligence and outright wickedness on the part of the authorities of the school. This Queen’s college na wa. Is it not the same school where a male teacher was accused of sexual harassment? What has gone wrong with this school sef? It used to be a great citadel of learning which produced great Nigerians like my best friend, Ebiere Ibekwe. Ebiere is a proud alumnus of the school and can never stop talking about her days in that school. Me, I can only thank God for not letting me take my daughter to the place. While running from the exorbitant school fees these private schools charge, I had considered going to the school. I went in, met some teachers but the sex scandal chased me away. I really was not interested if the teacher was guilty or not. You know there is no smoke without fire and as I no go get power to fly go Abuja to attend one government panel or the other to determine if the man do the thing or not, I just quietly leave the school to their rubbish. As if that is not enough, they have caused the death of three innocent girls and as I have read, the principal, one woman like that, has not deemed it fit to pay condolence visit to the bereaved families. This level of callousness can only be imagined. Let me send my condolences to these families even as I wonder what the remaining children are still doing in that place. The place should be shut down and the students shared out to more serious schools and all implicated officials prosecuted for their roles in the death of these children who had done nothing wrong except try to secure their future and in the process loose their lives. I will soon kneel down and curse these people and you know my curse can be deadly. What kind of life is this?

Senator Nnamdi Kanu
Yes, you read it right! Your eyes are not deceiving you. Yes, I have looked at the whole Biafran thing very critically and have come to the conclusion that this Nnamdi Kanu is nothing but a great mobiliser and a strong leader of people. He has succeeded in galvanising national attention towards the perceived plight of his people and his mission. Without any serious structure he has built a powerful momentum that has forced the Nigerian system to sit up and listen to him. The fact that his mission is misguided and infantile does not remove the fact that this man has with just pure passion, conviction, oratorical skill laced with threats, galvanised a people, woken up their consciousness and attempted a rethink of the Nigerian situation. You can now imagine if this person was properly guided what he would do in our quest to make Nigeria great again. Our problem is that of selfish leadership and not tribal in nature. The poverty shared amongst us due to poor leadership and corruption do not know tribe or religion. It is ever so widespread that a true and concise push at the level of grassroots, the type designed and implemented by Kanu although in a bigoted and shallow style but better spread with a veritable national coverage would surely uproot this system of endemic avarice and enthrone real purpose-built system of democratic leadership geared towards making life more purposeful for the masses. We need a Kanu-type leadership at all levels of administration, a leadership that cares about the people; a leadership that can see vision and work towards conceptualising the vision without fear of personal safety . Kanu, you can still achieve this your goal within a greater Nigerian structure. Please don’t go, seek election to the Senate as a first step. That place needs a fighter like you. My own two pence .

Ibrahim Babangida: A Latter-Day Saint
Old age has a way of showing you things you did not see before. This elder statesman has just come out to root for more devolution of power to the states in his old age. This was the same person who gave no-go areas during his reign and who fought seriously for the continued entrenchment of a system that favoured only a select few during his reign. Today, as he sits in his Minna mansion, reminiscing  about the Nigeria he helped entrench; he has begun to feel the need to pull back. He led a military junta that further entrenched this distortion. How can you have a military government at the centre with its central command structure ruling a federating system of states? The military ruined this nation totally and IBB was the star of that parade. He created most of these moribund states in a whim while not allowing them to run independently as it should in a federation. He chose military administrators and gave them instructions from the centre. The state under his reign were mere appendages to the centre while putting his so called boys, the ones who could go to war blindfolded to run them like bank branches managers run branches who depend and rely on the head office for sustenance. Today, he is singing another song. I thank God that this is happening now . We are happy but should we take him seriously? I’ll say no abeg. Na just go join the train as usual. Wait and see o another one of them will soon talk him own.

Evans : A Scary Visit
You know as the Duke of Shomolu, busybody is part of my mandate. That is how having nothing to do last Sunday, I took my self to look at Evans the great kidnapping suspect’s house in highbrow Magodo. To me that is the greatest tourist attraction. I wanted to see how he lived while allegedly masterminding the greatest rape of our people by a private citizen. A man who became lord unto himself and made life a misery for so many families. As I drove into his own part of Magodo, I stumbled on a gate. I asked the gateman that I wanted to visit someone on the street. He asked me to call the person so he can speak with the person. Realising  that I may have hit a brick wall, I confessed to the guy.’my brother, no vex abeg I want see that Evans house’. The guy smiled and said,’you for talk na’. He pointed out the house to me and I drove near. It was a very beautiful house, in an equally beautiful street. Quiet and very well apportioned, the neighborhood reeked of unalloyed wealth. It was eerie and scary at the same time, I felt my head swell as I looked at the house belonging to this evil genius. Suddenly, I felt a tinge of sadness and pity. All I could do was to say a prayer for him and his victims plus his family. Only God knows why he allowed these things to happen. As I drove off, all I could think of was the torture in the heart of his children as this whole thing unfolds. Really sad, what kind of society could have bred this person? Really, really sad.