With Reno Omokri
That Lai Mohammed has reduced himself from minister for information to minister for explaining why President Muhammadu Buhari does not attend to official duties is now obvious! Instead of busying himself generating ideas for the betterment of Nigeria, he is more concerned with generating excuses for Buhariâ€™s failure!
Why has Lai done this to himself? Why has he turned himself into the Southern end of a bull?
And when CNNâ€™s Richard Quest gave him an opportunity to redeem himself by asking him the leading question, â€˜which country makes the best jollof riceâ€™, Lai Mohammed proved how irredeemable he is by saying, and I quote, â€œI want to say Senegal.â€ Really! Senegal.
Is Lai Mohammed now the minister of information for Senegal?
And to make matters worse, Lai tried to spin the storm that came after his disappointing response by claiming that he misunderstood Mr. Questâ€™s question.
If Lai can misunderstand such a simple question, then it falls into question his capability for the job he holds.
Perhaps when you have a jollofless Lai as information minister and French graduate as agriculture minister, even jollof rice runs away to Senegal! Is this sycophancy taken too far? This is the same Lai Mohammed that said Fulani herdsmen come from Mauritius, a country that is in the Indian Ocean and shares no land border with Africa. The same Lai Mohammed that told us in January that President Muhammadu Buhari is perfectly healthy. I hear that even satan is praying for Lai to go to heaven because he fears he will lose his seat if he comes to hell!
And Lai does not seem to realise the extent of the damage he has done to Nigeriaâ€™s image. If I were the Senegalese government, I will feature Laiâ€™s answer to Richard Questâ€™s question as a publicity advertisement for the Senegalese tourism industry on CNN and other global media.
It almost seems that since Muhammadu Buhari became our President, it is not only foreign investors that are divesting from Nigeria. Even jollof rice has divested to Senegal. In fact, as Jollof rice has divested, we must not forget that the minister of agriculture had announced plans to import grass from Brazil so Herdsmen will be comfortable. You see, even grass had divested from Nigeria to Brazil!
But on second thoughts, perhaps we owe Lai an apology. He is right after all. Jollof RICE originates from Senegal. It is jollof LIES that originate from Nigeria through Lai Mohammed.
In fact, I want to play a game called Name Your Favourite Jollof LIE that Lai has cooked. I will start. My favourite is the lie that one masquerade can create 1000 jobs. What is yours? Send me an email of yours to email@example.com or tweet it at me using the hashtag #NameYourFavouriteJollofLIE!
But on a more serious note, Laiâ€™s most recent misadventure should prompt the federal government to do some introspection because incidences like this are too commonplace with this administration that one may be forgiven if he thought we were being governed by people who do not know much about Nigeria.
For instance we have a President who told the Telegraph of U.K. that Nigerians are â€œcriminalsâ€, a lying information minister who thinks Nigerian jollof rice originates from Senegal, a French graduate agriculture minister who wants to import grass for Fulani Herdsmen while Nigerians have no food, a minister of finance that wants to tax Nigerians who own homes in London, a minister of internal affairs who thinks the job of uniformed military officers is to shine his shoe in public, a pot-bellied minister of transport whose only major achievement is inaugurating what the previous administration built, and a Science and Technology minister whose publicly stated ambition is to produce pencils in two yearsâ€™ time – in fact, maybe the whole government should just go to Senegal along with our jollof rice!
And God keeps giving Lai Mohammed opportunities to redeem himself and his government and he keeps failing to live up to his title as the chief-image maker for the government.
48 hours after Anthony Joshua TKOâ€™ed Wladimir Klitschko to become the undisputed heavy weight champion of the world on April 29, 2017, the Nigerian government had not congratulated him. It was not until Senator Ben Murray-Bruce tweeted about it that he congratulated the champion pugilist. I hope Lai does not think Anthony is from SENEGAL!! You never know with this Buhari administration!
And this dereliction of duty from Lai Mohammed is more telling when you consider that Nigerians do not really know what is happening with their government.
Whether true or false, we hear about a cabal governing. Executive Council of the Federation meetings either do not hold or where they hold, little to nothing is done because the President is not there.
It is either Lai tells us that the President is resting on doctorsâ€™ advice or that he is working from home. Being that the Presidentâ€™s office is 5 minutes from his home (I have walked it myself) one begins to wonder what Lai Meshe when he says that President Muhammadu Buhari worked from home.
And Laiâ€™s comments betray the disconnect in this government. Lai tells us that the President needs to rest on doctorsâ€™ orders, yet the minister of transport, Rotimi Amaechi, only this week said the President was fit enough to govern and re-contest in 2019.
Speaking as a guest on Channels Televisionâ€™s Hard Copy, Mr. Amaechiâ€™s exact words were:
â€œThe president is fit enough to govern and if he makes the decision to run again, if he does, I donâ€™t think there is anything wrong in supporting him.â€
So who should we believe between Amaechi and Lai?
And then the minister of communications, Adebayo Shittu, joined the fray by saying:
â€œWe would urge him to seek re-election because it is only once in a while that you get a father figure for a nation to move forward and attain greatness. He is unlike former President Goodluck Jonathan, who never, with due respect, symbolised anything for the country.â€
Barrister Adebayo Shittu says Muhammadu Buhari is like a father to Nigerians and Goodluck Jonathan was not. How sad that we forget history so soon! Between â€˜the dog and baboon will be soaked in bloodâ€™ and â€˜my ambition is not worth the blood of any Nigerianâ€™, who sounds like a father?
Instead of Buhariâ€™s minister to pray for his health, they are prodding him on to seek re-election in 2019. Learn from Abacha and Yarâ€™adua. Do not tempt God! I just thank God that there are men who fear God like Chief Bisi Akande in the APC. While Amaechi, Kachikwu, Shittu and Oyegun are playing God, Akande this week released a statement that he â€œweptâ€ because of the state of Buhariâ€™s health.
What did Jesus say in Mark 8:36? â€œWhat shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?â€ The enemies of Buhari are those who are encouraging him to cling to power instead of clinging to his health!
If I were President Muhammadu Buhari, I will sack Amaechi and Shittu for pressuring me over 2019 at a time I should focus on my health. Except the aim is to kill me. It is taken that every sane man intends the reasonable consequence of his actions. What is the reasonable consequence of pressuring a man who is too sick to work full time or attend mosque to start contemplating the rigours of a re-election campaign? The reasonable consequence will befall Buhariâ€™s enemies, not Buhari. Amaechi, Shittu and Oyegun are Buhariâ€™s biggest enemies!
In all these, what I find alarming is the silence of both Tunde Bakare and Father Mbaka. Pastor Tunde Bakare and Reverend Father Ejike Mbaka, who knew you guys could be so silent. You used to be so talkative!!! Sometimes it seems as if God made Muhammadu Buhari to be President purposely to expose the hypocrisy of some people.
These guys were so narky under the previous administration but now it seems the cat has got their tongue. What a pity.
But there is a silver lining. Vice President Yemi Osinbajo is a man who has won my heart for his conduct and carriage in office. President Buhari could not have made a better choice!
Just take in the comment he made while addressing â€œThe Platformâ€ at Covenant Christian Centre in Lagos. On May Day 2017, Professor Osinbajo said, â€œAnd by the way, we all know that Nigerian jollof rice is the best!â€ And in just one sentence, Vice President Professor Yemi Osinbajo exposed Lai Mohammed for the liar he is.
This is why even though I pray for President Muhammadu Buhari, I am quite satisfied that Nigeria is safe in the hands of Osinbajo. Osinbajo understands what it is to lead a nation. After Lai embarrassed Nigeria over jollof rice, President Buhari kept mute, but Osinbajo has redeemed Nigeriaâ€™s image. God bless Professor Yemi Osinbajo!
Noah built the Ark when it was sunny. You canâ€™t prepare for adversity during adversity. You prepare for it during prosperity. While you are building your ark, haters will laugh at you. Donâ€™t waste anger on haters. When they annoy you, use the anger as energy to achieve more. It will annoy them more than your anger. And always remember that the world wonâ€™t understand you if you try to explain yourself with words. Your only explanation they will understand is your success #RenosNuggets
Reno Omokri is working on his book, Facts Versus Fiction: The True Story of the Jonathan Years: Chibok, 2015 and Other Conspiracies, is set for release in June.
QUOTE: 48 hours after Anthony Joshua TKOâ€™ed Wladimir Klitschko to become the undisputed heavy weight champion of the world on April 29, 2017, the Nigerian government had not congratulated him. It was not until Senator Ben Murray-Bruce tweeted about it that he congratulated the champion pugilist. I hope Lai does not think Anthony is from SENEGAL!! You never know with this Buhari administration! And this dereliction of duty from Lai Mohammed is more telling when you consider that Nigerians do not really know what is happening with their government. Whether true or false, we hear about a cabal governing. Executive Council of the Federation meetings either do not hold or where they hold, little to nothing is done because the President is not there. It is either Lai tells us that the President is resting on doctorsâ€™ advice or that he is working from home. Being that the Presidentâ€™s office is 5 minutes from his home (I have walked it myself) one begins to wonder what Lai Meshe when he says that President Muhammadu Buhari worked from home.