A LETTER OF THANKS ON NEW YEAR 

Thank you Lord for the blessing of a New Year.

Thank you for surviving the harsh economic conditions. 

For getting over naira scarcity and the scourge of the POS operators.

For escaping kidnappers, murderous herdsmen and criminals.

Thank you for life lived in good health.

Thank you for the gift of family, friends and those who matter to us.

Thank you for our loved ones and those who have gone before and never forgotten.

Thanks for Rotimi Akeredolu, Ghali Na’Abba, and Dejumo Lewis (kabiyesi).

Thank you that bad fortune now tarries behind.

That good fortune is now going ahead.

For the fake prophets that told us in the beginning of 2023 that it was our year, “thank you o”!

Thank you for Nigeria.

Thank you that you are still one whole.

Thank you for everything that sets you apart.

Thank you for “emi lokan”, and “awa lokan”.

Thank you for “You fall my hand,” and “Ah you fall my leg join”.

Thanks for the still awaited “change”, for “Next Level”, “ground no level” and “sege na ya mate”?

Thanks for electricity distribution companies without electricity.

For Bar Beach without the beach.

For democracy without democrats.

For unworthy Nigerian roads and road worthiness certificate.

Thank you for corrective slaps like igbati, ifoti, igbaju and igbatun.

For iforun, ifakin, aka nti, ura and i machi nti.

Thank you for Tobi Amusan, Victor Osimhen, and Asisat Oshoala.

Thanks for Kizz Daniel, D’banj, 2Baba, Wizkid, Phyno, Flavour, Burna Boy, Rema, Ayra Starr, and Tems.

Thank you for lazy Nigerian youths.

For lazy Nigerian politicians.

And lazy Nigerian elite.

Thanks for “Your miracle is on the way.”

“Give me a spouse or I die”.

“This beautiful sister must marry me – by force!”

“NTA Channel Jesus New Testament Assembly.”

Thank you for the japa syndrome.

For one doctor to 6,000 patients.

For “drugs out-of-stock”, for “doctors out-of-stock”, for “nurses out-of-stock and for “no bed space.”

“I smell America – Anointing to travel.”

“Canada, here I come”!

“Na UK get me.”

“I will not leave Lagos empty-handed.”

“My enemy what are you still waiting for? Die! Die! Die!”

Thank you for “Laughter junction”, “Laugh wan kill me die,” and “I can’t kill myself o.”

For questions like, “Una get light?”, “Dey don bring light?” and  “U go on gen?” 

For “Wetin dey happen?” “Dem don score?” “Who dey lead?” 

For “How body?” and “Anything for the boys?”

Others are “You and who?” “I get him time?” and You dey craze?”

For “You wan quench?” “Who you be?” “Dem born you well?” and “You know who I be?”

Also, for “You go see”, “I go show you” and “You go hear wehh”.

Not leaving “I no get credit,” “I no get data”, and “Borrow me credit”.

For “Scratch me card”, and “I no bring charger”.

For “See as e be”, “Show dem”, and “Pepper dem”.

For “na you know”, “Na you sabi”, “Abegi”, and “Biko”.

For “Choi”, “Lai lai,” “Yakata” and “Yeparipa”.

Thank you for Agege bread and ewa agoyin. 

For jollof rice, pounded yam, amala, fufu, garri, edika ikong, and ofe nsala.

For banga soup, gbegiri soup, kilishi, and suya.

For isi ewu, cow leg, cow tail, chicken, turkey and nkwobi.

Thanks for “No noise”, “No smoking”, “No loitering”, and “No parking”,

For “No hawking”, “No trading”, “No overspeeding”, and “No farting.”

Thank you for “Post no bill”, “Cars parked at owners’ risk”, and “This house is not for sale. Beware of 419”.

Thanks for “Up-NEPA!”

“It’s a goal for Nigeria!” 

 “I don get alert!”

Thank you for “shine your eye”, “arrange me”, and “settle me”.

For “I like am die”, “enter with your change,” and “nothing spoil.” 

For “diaris God o,” “our mumu don do”, and “enough is enough”.

Thanks for “meaning?” “oya”, and “o jare”.

For “yepa!”, “ẹ gba mi o!”, and “shikena”.

For “lobatan”, “alawada”, and “eh ya”.

For “abeg”, “chei!” “It’s a lie!” and “na true!”

Thanks for “Make I come dey go,” “Na dem dem, and “It’s not my portion”.

For “I reject it”, and “Back to sender”.

Thanks for questions like “Who born you?”, “Which state you come from?” and “Which tribe you be?”

For “You wan try?” “and “Na only you waka come?”

For “Funke!”, “aye mi temi bami”, “This man”, “you think sey you wise”, “I like trouble,” and “Lord have mercy upon us.”

For laughter that explodes, and bombs that won’t.

Thanks for Mother Africa without the mosquitoes.

For the rains without the flood, and for the Harmattan without the dust.

Thank you for votes that count, and for free and fair elections.

For restructuring and for the will of the people.

For jeans that fade, and love of Nigeria that doesn’t. 

For our biggest pain and for our highest hope.

Happy New Year.

Dr Cosmas Odoemena, Consultant Family Physician, Lagos