Ganduje: it wasn’t me!

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Abdullahi Umar Ganduje

My Excellency, you need me o. Let me tell you one story. One day, the Duchess seized my phone and saw my picture in some unholy alliance. The video was sent to my family, landlord and other critical stakeholder groups like yours.

So just like you, I was summoned to face a panel. My brother, you should have seen me that day. I wore complete suit with bowtie and stood firm and denied untill the end. I even swore on my grandfather’s grave and said if I was lying the skeleton should come out and kill me. They shouted o. I deny o. Kai, I looked them straight in the eye and raised a finger like Bill Clinton and said, that was not me. It was me o, but if you agree that kind thing, na golgotha o.

So your Excellency, whether it is you or no,t just maintain. Last advice: go and look for that Bill Clinton video, the one where he faced the congress committee on Monica Lewinsky. Please study the video very well, that na baba. He maintained o. Study his body language, eye contact-wise, choice of words. If you don’t have it, send N3,000 let me send it to you. It will save your life. Mbok, don’t agree o. Just keep maintaining your position – ‘it wasn’t me’ that is your mantra till this is over. Wisdom want kill me.