Buhari – Mbok, Define Hate Speech

Muhammadu Buhari

I have read this remark with trepidation. As a man with loose lips, I have to be concerned. I have just read a speech given on behalf of MY President at the convocation ceremony of the University of Uyo alluding to the fact that henceforth the federal government would no longer condone hate speech people. The report went on to define what could be termed as hate speech – inciting statements, instigating civil disobedience, stir strife and riots amongst others.

You see my lord, while I want to state categorically that according to this your definition that I have never been involved in this hate speech and will never be involved in it, kindly note that extreme care must be taken to ensure that your people at the DSS or other such wonderful organizations do not use this as an excuse to trample on people’s human rights.

You see I am not a lawyer but this your definition is riddled with ambiguity. Words could be interpreted in so many ways depending on the objective the interpreter wants to achieve, so let’s be very very careful in going through this route. You see I had once advised you that as we get closer to the elections you should start throwing up a softer image.

All these warnings and powerman showings will not really help your matter o. They would be and indeed are being interpreted as attempts to muscle the opposition. Right now you should embark on charm offensive, going round the country and hugging little babies, doing nice photo shoot, appearing in Wizskid videos, dancing Shaku shaku and that kind thing. All this wahala with rubber bullets, hate speech and bombing looters is just worsening our case. Mbok, how do I even get immunity from this hate speech force because real fear is catching me o?