After a long bout of fasting and most likely suffering from delusion and fatigue, the mind can begin to play tricks on you. My people, hunger is  a bad thing, as it can begin to make you delusional, make you see and hear things that are not real. If you think I am not saying the truth, you just try it. When I fast for the small two hours that I fast, if I do not break it on time, I will just be hallucinating and everybody from Fela Kuti to Prophet Elijah will just be speaking to me asking me to go save the young virgins in Botswana.

That is what I am thinking could have happened to this our highly respected man of God. When his colleagues are busy fighting Freeze, the radio personality that is taking them to the cleaners on this matter of tithing, he is busy hallucinating and trying to convince us that Jehovah God, came to him in a vision and has asked him to come and be our President with no vision, feasible programmes or goals. You see what hunger can do to even the most experienced ’fasters’? This politics of ‘’follow follow’’ is so laughable that I almost reach to ignore it. But since my Editor will be mad at me if my stories no reach six, I will just add this story to complete the page. My darling Pastor, no be God speak to you, na hallucination from too much fasting. Nigerians are now better prepared for such childish allusions to power.

This is purely a case of ‘’na me, na me’’ as my dear mother will call it. Because you have seen those you feel you are better than emerging as president – you see what the man with no shoes and the man with the controversial certificate cause, you sef feel that you can enter the matter. A country of 180million gifted people and you are telling us this? Sir, I respect you more than this na. Please come back with a better proposition. We may just listen, but this ‘’revelation’’ is childish and opportunistic. You are better than this and while you are at it, kindly suspend the fasting, it just might be causing more health challenges than you may care to notice.

Fela, Run! Fela, Run!!!!!!!!!!
I have seen pictures of this bobo in a beautiful T-shirt with some very sweet young girls making some sounds alluding to his intention of running for an office. I SUPPORT Fela Durotoye fully not because I think he will win his VGC community but because he represents a demographic and  a population outlook that I strongly believe should be a little bit more interested in the political process. The youth, especially those who are digitally connected are so sophisticated that even without the government have built whole industries devoid of the usual malaise that characterised everything Nigerian. See the entertainment industry; see real estate, see fintech, see sports. So why not politics.

And Fela more than anybody else personifies this fresh and youthful energy that is better prepared to lead us as we squarely face the challenges of modern-day Nigeria. We are really tired of this gerontocracy-led movement steeped in ethnic-based pillage of our land. Politicians of this generation, Soyinka has called wasted, have done their bit, it is time to leave the stage. But they will not leave the stage with just a few very beautiful girls wearing sexy T-shirts and wielding Brazilian hair and screaming in those man-numbing voices, Fela!!! Fela!!! Fela!!!!! We will need a much more serious initiative with better planning, better strategy, a nimble use of social media, and more important, programmes latched on the powerful penetrative potential of the digital space to wrest power from our Godzillas. So Fela, ask that light-skinned, chubby lady, the one that stood beside you in that picture recently released to give me a call, we can work something out that should see you in the Presidency in no time. Please send her my number – 0909……… Fela himself!, okunrin metta.

Goodswill Akpabio vs Emmanuel Udom
Please don’t let me laugh o. I hear these two are at each other’s throat; what else is new? No be today na. I do not know why people despite various examples in the past will continue to be going into this godfather/godson business. It is really a bad business even the legendary Amala politician in Ibadan – the great Adedibu didn’t have it smooth so why for the life of me, will Akpabio have a smooth ride on this matter? I remember that night in his house and over a plate of hot fufu and afang, we discussed this matter. I told him clearly not to get himself involved.

That he had done very well in the state transforming it from the backwaters of poverty into a global state with modern infrastructure and that his place in history was secure, that he should just go to the Senate and rest and allow us choose our own leader. My people, I thank God I had taken the last piece of goat meat in the soup before I attempted this my advice o. You should have seen his face. It first went into a frown and with the last morsel of fufu in his hand, he jumped up and walked me out of the place. Well, I had said my own and had just finished eating the most delicious afang ever eaten in my life, so what will I lose? I Ieft o. Did he take my advice? No! He went and got a politically inexperienced Udom who as I hear, has found it extremely difficult to fit into Akpabio’s shoes in every facet of leadership. Today, his political inexperience is so glaring that he now chooses to go fight a very powerful godfather only 12 months to his re-election. A political suicide bid like this, I have yet to see.

Well for the sake of my friends in Zenith Bank where this our Governor came from – Chile and Tunde, I will not yab him well. I will just let him go, but if you ask me for advice, I will ask the management of Zenith to go back and clean his office and prepare it for his eventual return for I do not see him winning this one. You dey look for Akpabio trouble, the man of uncommon transformation. Zenith abeg send for your employee o. He will better serve Nigeria within your platform. Thank you

Olisa Adibua and the Duke Of Shomolu
One is a legendary showbiz impresario while the other is a legendary defender of the rights of the light-skinned chubby woman. One is a wizard on radio, the other is an aficionado of afang soup, understanding the intricacies and complexities that pervade this very delicious meal. One lives in upscale Ikoyi while the other is a lifelong resident of that bustling and impressive global enclave called Shomolu. But they seem to have found a congruence in putting together some of the most well-thought out projects. They have both collaborated in producing two of the most well-received theatre productions – Loud Whispers and Isale Eko with a combined budget in excess of N50m.

They are once again coming together to work on a unique TV special that will premiere on four major TV stations and designed to attract over 50m eyeballs. The project is still shrouded in secrecy and Olisa must not see this write-up. Please nobody should show him o, otherwise everything don scatter o. Anyway, it promises to be a seminally important project so keep your eyes glued to your screens. Meanwhile, the Duke of Shomolu is officially announcing that he has refused Olisa’s request for a title in the Dukedom of Shomolu. He had requested to be made the Are Ona Kankanfo of Shomolu land. When he does what he has to do, we will reconsider; till then go and read the news.

Mike Ozekhome – Sorry O
Abi what else can I say na? I saw the video of his harassment by defenders of the universe and the only advice I can give at this point is to play Jesus Christ.  Father, forgive them for they know not what they did. That is all my brother. Take care.