Dr. Goke Akinrogunde

I have been having consistent weak erection since after my wedding in 2007. Funny enough I have normal  erection when I want to masturbate, this habit has eaten deep into me.

It started since I was 18, now I am 43yrs. My erection is extremely weak when I want to meet my wife and usually could not release. Before, I used to have strong libido within a week, now no libido for upwards of 2 months unless I fantasize. My wife’s body does not generate erection for me again.

Is my problem psychological, physical or spiritual? I have tried both orthodox and tradomedical medications to no avail including daily vitamin E.

I have never contacted any STD in my life. Tell me what to do sir.

Please reply me.

Kingsley

Kingsley,

Please, be assured that you have a sympathizer in me. I should inform you, however, that generally and objectively speaking there is no agreement among researchers and experts on the appropriateness, or otherwise with respect to sexual ill-health, of masturbation in male or in the opposite sex.

Different cultures however have different attitudes to this not very uncommon behaviour that comes in different forms across the gender divide and among the different age groups. I should add here that it largely represents, initially at the earlier stage, a desire to let out a psychological and /or physical tension in an unusual form. Usually most individuals soon developed other ways to let out this tension via different coping mechanism.

The first step to overcome and take personal control of the situation is to overcome the inertia to saying it out. I respect your present courage as per writing this letter to me. It is the beginning of a solution to the problem. The fact that you are still achieving an erection during your so-called ‘fantasies’ is an indication that the problem is less physical or organic in nature; your concern lies more in the inner psyche.

I’m confident that an interaction with a knowledgeable medical practitioner or a clinical psychologist grounded in human sexuality, and who is not beclouded with undue/unscientific hypocritical morality, will lead you out of your present worrying situation.

Since physical attraction is a factor of sexual attractiveness and fulfillment, regardless of who you are meeting on this problem, sooner than later your wife will have to be brought into the picture, it is better to let her know about this ‘dullness in her attractiveness to you, so she can get closer in outlook to those other women in your ‘fantasy’ world that get you thrilled in your imagination.