Rotimi Amaechi.
Minister of Transportion, Mr. Rotimi Amaechi

When I think of these two especially after the violence ridden rerun elections in Rivers state, what comes to mind is this nursery rhyme. For the sake of those of us who did not go to Nursery Schools, let me repeat it here. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall……… . Abeg I no remember the thing again Jo, but the point I am trying to make here is that Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and there was nothing all the king’s men could do to put back his shattered head together again. Rotimi Amaechi and Nyesom Wike have shown very clearly that the interest of the people of Rivers state is very far from their minds as they embark on their ego driven push for power. Today what we have left on the streets of Rivers is the blood of their sons, fathers and breadwinners flowing ceaselessly towards the creeks of the Delta. Widows and orphans have been created simply because no side wants to allow common sense and civility to guide their ambitions. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong, from the militarisation of the elections, to the violence, from allegations of bribery and thuggery to the barbaric attempts at the lives of prominent actors and in all these we see a society under severe strain, a society where nothing but tears and sorrow flow with the joys of democracy thrown out the window of inordinate ambition of two gladiators who have nothing but ‘wicked’ aggression to offer. I am sad with my heart heavy. I weep for Nigeria even as I share the sorrow of the very humble people of Rivers who have been subjected to this harrowing experience. Humpty Dumpty and his twin must fall from the wall and the kings men would ride past their shattered heads in their quest to speedily bring succor and comfort to the damaged people of Rivers and till then, I remain on my knees in prayers and in mourning for my brethren who only had but a dream of the gains of a well fought democracy but found themselves in shallow graves trampled upon by the vicissitudes of ambition. Is God still alive?

A candle for Ibinabo Fiberesima
My sister, I hear, has been sent to in prison following the incident that happened about five years ago which led to the death of Dr. Giwa. William Shakespeare, the great bard, could not have written a more tragic episode. This is really sad for both families. One has lost a breadwinner and father, the other is seeing their daughter in prison. For me, I remain numb in the fact that even though I agree that the law must take its full course in delivering justice, no matter how long Ibinabo serves in prison, the life of the amiable doctor would not be restored. My condolences remain with his family as they continue to mourn this great loss and my support also goes to Ibinabo’s family especially her lovely kids who today have been left motherless, ‘albeit’ temporally following her loss at the Appeal court. Lessons have been learnt by all sides including observers and my prayers continue to flow to both sides.

Psquare: It’s Ok, you can break up
Personally I really do not care if this set of twins break up or remain together. The problems facing us in this country are far more serious than what will come out of the eventual breakup of this group. Although they have remained highly successful and have given us so many hit songs flying the flag all over the world, this their breakup issue cannot in any way be compared with the fuel scarcity, lack of power and the spiraling school fees I have to deal with in today’s Nigeria. So really, if they want to break up they should do just that and stop distracting us with their childish and semi-literate stories of a dream gone bad. They have been lucky and fate has smiled on them and for the rest of us who despite very hard labour will never earn the kind of money they have touched all our lives, we continue to struggle in the mud. So my people with the kinds of endorsement, lifestyle these people have lived through on the back of their pidgin English-laden songs, why should I bother my head if they cannot build a structure and be mature about their business? How does their break-up or otherwise reduce the price of Garri in the market? Before I am being accused of envy let me come out and agree fully. Yes, I envy the fact that despite my Masters degree, 20 years of toiling in the finance industry, I will never earn the kind of money they have used to buy their cheapest house. Abeg break up. Meanwhile, while praying for their breakup, I have started rehearsing and trying some dance step in my bathroom, it’s never too late to attempt a replacement. Guys, get ready for Jsquare, I dey come.

CBN Recruitment scandal
I have followed this recruitment scandal with amazement. Why do Nigerians like lying like this? After thorough scrutiny and investigations I have come to the realisation that the allegations leveled against the management of the CBN that they have turned into a recruitment agency for the silver spoon spoilt children of the rich and powerful is nothing but total falsehood. It is a lie from the pit of hell and the figment of imagination of the enemies of the amazing Governor of the Bank who because he is Igbo and has refused to join the cry for Biafra that his enemies have come together to concoct this wicked lie. My investigations show that there is only one poor man pikin in employment there o. His name is Gabriel. His father is a poor palmwine tapper in the village who got his job after going through five years of continuous recruitment written exams and another two years of oral interview because he did not have the right American or British accent. Well today, he is a bona fide staff of the CBN and the only one in his whole division without a foreign degree. So my people following my thorough investigations and the discovery of this Gabriel, I make bold to proclaim that there is no recruitment scandal, we should let the CBN be, they have too much on their table especially the continuous fight against the dollar. Enough of the distractions.

PTAD N60m salary: in this Nigeria?
Kai, There is God oooo!!!!!!!, So someone can brashly pay herself N60m in this same Nigeria? I am refusing to believe this o. It cannot be true. I read the story from various sources and looked at the picture of the madam and all I could feel for her was intense envy and maybe hatred. N60m a month? For what and by who? Who has been signing off these pay checks? How can this woman be earning more than Dangote and she is not on the Forbes list? Only in Nigeria. Well, it has happened and the only other thing is to find out if she is single and if not, would she take me as her second husband? Where I come from, women can marry two husbands. Send her my number.

Bank of Industry, Raine Oil support ‘Loud whispers’
To my surprise and utter amazement that wonderful Bank of Industry is supporting my play Loud whispers which is coming up this May at the Muson with Alibaba as the main star. I got a call from Uche who in a sweet voice informed me that they would be supporting the play. I jumped for joy and gave thanks to the Most High.
Raine oil has also seen the light and jumped on the wagon. Led by my brother Gabriel and his beautiful wife Godrey, they have also sent their support. Gabriel has always supported this my dream and has stood by me again this time. I will call him on stage and make him sing to the crowd as my own way of helping him fulfil his hidden dream of being a singer. Big bro thank you.
I am still begging the following people, Ansalem Tabansi, Tonye Cole, Chidi Ajaere, Mudi not to allow your small Ibibio brother to be disgraced o. You must come out and be counted o. This is a passionate plea otherwise, I will send your names to the CCT for trial. Guys let’s make this happen. Thanks.

Queens college sex scandal
I hold my breath. I will not say anything yet but to say that if this was my daughter, I will be sitting down beside Rev.King in the gallows no be placard matter. But like I said, we are still watching.