Overcoming disaster and how to react when you've been knocked down (becbrownsays.com.au)
By Modupe Kazeem
“For I will restore health to you and I will heal your wounds, says the Lord, because they have called you an outcast, saying this is Zion, no one seeks her” Jeremiah 30:17.
The automatic response when a situation such as a divorce or the termination of a relationship occurs in one’s life is to feel disappointment, discouragement and pain, and there’s nothing wrong with that immediate emotional response.
Pain is an emotion intended by God to be a signal to us that we need to start praising and thanking him so that our confidence and faith will rise up within us. The truth is, everyone experiences some rejection and pain in this life and the memories and scars can be deep, but you will enter into strength through pain.
For restoration and healing of your wounds you have to first commit your pain and anguish to the Lord, He desires to heal you of your pain. Unfortunately, most women who feel disappointed and discouraged do not turn to God. Rather they stop trusting God and start blaming Him, or they turn away from God and to other people.
You have to trust God to show you how to be healed of the pain you have felt as a result of your disappointment by committing your entire situation and all your pains to Him through prayer, and then allow Him to heal you in the way that only He can. He desires to heal you from past hurts caused by rejection; He wants you to know that He will never reject you because of your weaknesses.
God is the force that can bring all the pieces in your life together.
Sometimes God allows us to go through some disappointments in order to move us from where we are to where He wants us to be. Sometimes He has to step in to rearrange our
plans to prevent us from self destruction.
Remember the popular saying : “Every disappointment is a blessing”!, As children of God, disappointments that we face can only be a blessing because we know that He’s thoughts of us are not of evil but of peace and of joy to give us a hope and a future.
Many times what we think is good for us is not part of Gods plan and purpose for our lives, so when relationships don’t work out, rather than despair, trust God and praise Him because He alone knows the end from the beginning. This is why we must not leave God out of our future plans; there is no point in making plans as though God does not exist, because the future is in His hands.
Personal pain makes us vulnerable, in some cases women throw themselves into the hands of men, often times, married men, in a bid to either get even or get at their estranged spouse, or in order to feel loved again.
The truth is, these men are opportunists who recognise the fact that the woman is at her lowest ebb, and they are out to take advantage of her vulnerability. Of all the men on earth no one can speak to your spirit or heal your heart like your Lord.
It is only His tender love for you that can keep your mind from breaking under the pain of a disappointment; no one can comfort you or hold you like He can.
One of the major lies of the devil is that God cannot be trusted, never lose sight of the reality that the devil is a liar. Always remember you are worthy of God’s forgiveness, you deserve God’s love, you have a bright future, you will fulfill God’s destiny for you, but you have to learn to believe and to trust God,
Do not let the pain from the past paralyse your ability to pursue your dreams.
The disappointment that you just suffered may have run you right off the tracks in life but faith that climbs mountains will come when you believe that God’s power and your desire can get you moving again.
When you hook to God’s power, you will have the power to climb the mountains of fear, loneliness, depression, rejection and loss.
John h Vincent said: reach up as far as you can and God will reach down all the way.
In order to overcome disappointment, First, you have to allow yourself time to heal;
When the hurts are deep, the healing is long. Cry if you have to and when you want to, you will find out that you will feel better when you release pain through tears. Tears will soften your heart, wash your eyes and clear your vision, though God is not moved by your tears!
Be careful in whose arms/ shoulders you cry on. Crying on the shoulders of a married man would only end you in trouble and more emotional confusion and you certainly don’t need that!
The fact that you have been disappointed for what ever reason does not give you the right to break or interfere with another woman’s marriage, it is a sin.
Don’t be afraid when it comes to moral convictions, knowing what you believe and sticking by it is a sign of strength not weakness.
The next step is to make the necessary changes in your life that would aid your healing process remembering that the decision you take will either have a positive or negative influence on the rest of your life.
People decide to change when the pain of the situation is almost equal to the fear of the change. Someone once summed up: “put the past in the past and learn to live in the present, rehearsing yesterday’s mistakes will not make living in today any easier”
Next, develop a plan to get through each day without spending time worrying about yesterday.
You cannot change yesterday but you can plan tomorrow today. You can take up a sport or a hobby; engage in exercise, swimming, visit to the gym, reading books. You can even take a holiday break.
Try to rediscover yourself, do the things that make you happy. Learn to love and admire yourself first if you have to love again. Learn to enjoy your own company, do every thing positively to regain your self confidence, but do Not look for love and acceptance and comfort in wrong places, you will only come to regret it later in life because you will be operating outside the will of God.
If you intend to stay single, let it be for the right reasons. Don’t do it because you once had a bad marriage and your feelings have been hurt or because you are mad at somebody.
A problem shared is a problem halved. Learn to talk over issues with friends or family. Real friends don’t bail out on you when you are faced with one of lives most difficult struggles and real friends don’t judge you by your past & failures so, try not to live in isolation.
If you find it difficult to pray on your own you can join a prayer group so that you can be lifted up in prayer constantly, there is power in agreement. You can also seek counseling at your local assembly.
THEN, you need to change your mindset from thinking negatively to positively;
Confess regularly: I will be happy again, I will trust again, I am not a failure, I will experience the Joy of marriage, and I will laugh again.
My prayer for you today is that, The Lord will give you beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.(Isaiah 61:3).
I pray that affliction will not arise in your life the second time around (Nahum1:9). AMEN.
It is in knowing Him that gives you the grace to endure pains and withstand rejection.
So get to know Him, worship Him, love Him, and thank Him for your healing and your future.
However if you do not yet know Him, you need to surrender your life to Him today, so that Jesus: the “healer”, will heal you of all your pains and you can look forward to a bright future in Him.
Please pray this prayer,
Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. Please come into my life and forgive me all my sins. I believe you died for my sins and rose from dead. Now fill me with your Holy Spirit and guide me from this day forward.
Thank you Lord for saving and healing me, Amen.
Congratulations! If you have been touched by this article or you have just given your life to Christ, I would like to hear from you.
Please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
God Bless You.
Modupe Kazeem is a guest columnist
Edited by GABRIELLA OSAMOR