29 Nov 2012

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By Konye Chelsea Nwabogor. E-mail-

"You’re too picky"...What single person hasn't heard that before? People are quick to accuse you of being super-selective if you're less than snappy about getting ourselves hitched.

But let's be honest, most of us are picky. But really is there such a thing as being too picky? What do people expect? “Well, you're not exactly what I'm looking for, but I guess I’d have to manage you”. How appealing.

We all have a list when it comes to whom we're attracted to. And, again, let's be honest many of the items on the list are physical. I hate to admit it, but I always had a hard time with men who were shorter than I was.

That is why it’s good to also have a few non-physical traits on the list, just in case you want to have the occasional conversation with the people with whom you hook up. For instance, I had other things like a sense of humor and gracious spirit on my list. As a result, I went out with some funny, kind short men.

Ultimately, you have to decide what you can and can't live with. If she's got to be slim, pretty and long legged then that's your thing. Don't apologize for it. But if you're frustrated, because you're not finding pretty long-legged women, then that's a problem. I would suggest adding a few other items to the list.

As a friend once said to me, 'It used to be that anybody with a pulse could ask me out and I'd say yes. Now, he has to have a pulse but he has to have some other stuff going on too.'

It's true that, as we get older, we have a better idea of what we want (theoretically anyway) and get even pickier. Chances are, you've dated enough people to know what you like and don't like and aren't interested in wasting your time on people you know you won't want to spend time a lot of with. If that makes you picky, well, so what, right?

Of course, sometimes what we think we want isn't necessarily the best thing for us. Sometimes, the initial chemistry is so overwhelming and our list suddenly gets a little more flexible than it should. 'Did I say I'd never date someone who tortures small animals? What was I thinking? This guy's perfect for me. I'm sure the animals deserved it.'

I can't tell you the number of friends who end up with people they never thought they would end up with. And many a time I've heard someone rattle off a list, only to sit down with them one-on-one and find they never found that person that ticks all d boxes. So, it may not be that you're picky; it may just be time to revisit your '

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