The socio-economic pressure that makes parents stay out more is having its toll on family living in Nigeria. This, various organisations seek to change in order to revive and rebuild family unity for a peaceful society. Writes Mary Ekah
In order to have a better society where peace thrives, it is believed that the home must be in peace and order and this, it is believed must begin with couples who not only must live happily together but must also spend quality time together and consequently giving birth to and also raise happy and fulfilled children who would eventually turn out to be visionary future leaders.
But most often in our society of today where the economic situation is unfavorable to most families, couple use high percentage of their time striving to make ends meet, thereby having very minimal time to spend with the family. Consequently, a lot of things go wrong, which brings to question the role of the family in developing a better society as opposed to what we have today.
To this end, there have been various efforts made by different organisations aimed at reviving, rebuilding and renewing homes as well teach on family culture to the young and singles on how to make right marital choices and how to live with their choices and enjoy family life.
One of such organisations in Nigeria that focuses on strengthening the family tie and thereby building an enviable society for Nigeria is the Family Booster Ministry a.k.a Living Home Foundation jointly run by Pastor Bisi Adewale and his wife, Yomi.
Family Booster Ministry is a consortium of marriage counselor, teachers of the word and family therapist with a focus to revive, rebuild, repair, rejuvenate and restore homes and help single settle down in holy and blissful matrimony. It also aims to raise people for end time revival using the home units.
Established in 2000 with the sole aim of putting the printer of divorce bill out of business forever, the organisation has over the years, used all available avenues to teach the undiluted word of God that can build and sustain a solid home.
It has also set up training school that focuses on practical application of knowledge for a total building of men and women so as to raise a generation of happy families.
“Family time is something we cherish in this ministry, we need to spend more time with the family because a musician may use time to make symphony but a couple will make time to make harmony”, Adewale said during a recent interview.
The marriage counselor who stressed that Family Booster is all about “Total Home”, noted, “we are concern about the total well being of the home-financially, socially, physically and above all spiritually. This, we do through books, seminars, training, marriage schools, magazines and conferences for the last eleven years.
To further buttress the sole objective of the organisation, Family Booster is hosting a youth empowerment programme tagged “Breakthrough for Singles” Summit, with the theme, “Before you Say “I Do”. This aims to help singles fulfill destinies and help them to lay solid foundation for successful marriages.
“One way to confront the security and corruption problem confronting our dear country is to empower youths and teach them how to settle down rightly in marriage, as we notice that nobody well brought up in a godly family will lace himself with bombs to kill another fellow for any reason as it is happening in our country today in the case of Boko Haram menace.”
“The problem of social miscreants popularly known as areas boys, gangsters, drug, cultism, armed robbery and kidnappers can be traced back to the problem in the family. The problem of women and child abuse prevalent in our country can also be traceable to the wrong foundations at home. We cannot all keep quiet and allow our nation to go up in flames with our hands in pocket. Something must be done”, Adewale lamented.
Therefore, the forthcoming youth summit billed to hold on September 30 at the National Stadium Surulere at 2pm is expected to host about ten thousand singles at a gathering, which promises to be fun filled featuring red carpet, Miss Breakthrough Pageant, music, seminar, comedy by Erujeje amongst others.
Giving a tip of what is expected at the September 30 event, Adewale said, “We are going to talk about openness and even how to rent a house because that is another thing that causes trouble in marriage. We also want to tell them that preparing for marriage is different from preparing for wedding. We want to raise a single that can become a total husband and wife.”
“Before you say I do, there are questions you must ask your spouse and which he/she must answer with honesty”, he noted.
Speaking further, the marriage counselor said, “Most people think they know their partner enough before they got married only to discover that they knew nothing about him/her. And when you get married to someone you do not know 100 percent, that means you have established the foundation of trouble in that marriage because when you get married and discover that there are quite a number of things you never knew about your spouse, you would think he/she was pretending and then trouble will start and you even eventually think you married the wrong person. For this reason we try to encourage people to get to know each as much as possible before they get married, even though it is not possible for one to know one’s partner 100 percent.”
However, knowing your partner is a journey that must continue as both of you journey in life. Nobody is compatible with anybody, but you can blend and adjust as you continue in life. That is why you have to be a student of your spouse all the days of your life, but this is the problem most men have, they don’t want to be students of their wives.”
Adewale challenged government to introduce family education from primary to university levels and also make it compulsory for all. “Our educational system has been neglecting the family for too long. Result is what we are seeing today, near total collapse of security in some part of the country”, he said.
While also suggesting that maternity leave for nursing mother should be increase from three months to at least six months, while married women and nursing mothers should have mandatory closing hour of 4:00pm and 3:00pm respectively as they are the builders of the family, Adewale advised that family should spend more time at home while no married woman should be allowed to partake in Saturday and Sunday banking.
“We need to put all hands on deck to rebuild family and family values which African and black race are known for”, he stressed further.
He commended Lagos Stage Government under the leadership of Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola for its effort to do something to Lagos traffic, especially for establishing traffic Radio 96.1 F.M which has been helping Lagos residents to cut travel time, thereby getting home early to be with their families.
Adewale, a renowned international speaker and bestselling author of Christian books, who has been married for more than ten years, said that though, he has been a marriage counselor for more than ten years it does not mean his marriage has been without challenges.
“One good thing about marriage counseling is that it helps you to groom your own marriage. You talk about it so often and it becomes part of you. This does not make you an angel nor mean that you would not be having misunderstanding with your spouse but makes you handle your own misunderstanding so maturely than others would. Not only that, we discover that if you do not work on your own, if you teach others, it will not work for them. So we make extra effort to make sure that our marriage works so that we can counsel others effectively. But then in every human relationship, there is bound to be strife. I did not marry my sister, so normally you discover that you have your differences but misunderstanding, as I normally say, is not a quarrel.”
“We have had our own challenges but we don’t allow our crisis to generate into conflict but we make confluence out of it, while it brings us together and we never went to bed with a misunderstanding between us. Another rule that has helped us is that we do not shout at each other and then we don’t walk out on each other, we must continue to talk until we are able to settle everything”, he noted.
Adewale has held conferences across the world building homes, blessing lives, saving souls, preserving destinies for God and has devoted his life to family enrichment. He is therefore not leading any church and does not have plans to start one. ‘I have my pulpit in your home’, he declares.