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I Didn’t Want to Be a Pastor’s Wife – Adefarasin

07 Oct 2010

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More than five years after her husband was ordained as the General Overseer of Guiding Light Assembly, Mrs. Olaoluwa Adefarasin refused to be part of the church’s pastoral crew because she never wanted to be a Pastor’s wife. Now a full time pastor and leader of OASIS Ministry, she told MARY EKAH how she eventually dropped her wig against her wish

She never dreamt of being a pastor’s wife much less being a full time pastor herself because she didn’t marry her husband as a pastor. Pastor Adefarasin, the General Overseer of Guiding Light Assembly (GLA), Parkview Ikoyi, Lagos, was doing his business and attending the church like everyone else. Along the line, he was gradually drawn to the leadership cadre, ordained a pastor and finally made the general overseer of the ministry.

“This wasn’t what I bargained for at all. I was not too pleased with the development. So, I packed my baggage and went to London to stay with my children. I was there for five years. Here in Nigeria, my husband was busy doing his business and pastoring. Later, he told me he had dropped everything business for the sake of the gospel. It never bothered me one bit, for I was never interested in any deep involvement in church affair. When I came back to Nigeria haven graduated in law previously, I went into law practice”, she recalled.

 It was during this period that she started attending the church with her husband having realised that as a man of God, he may not be successful in his spiritual work without her support.
“I was in active legal practice for over five years before I realized that for my husband to succeed in his ministry, I needed to be active by his side. The role of a woman as a helpmate to her husband and the steady growth of the ministry made me rethink my earlier decision to stay aloof.”
Besides, the women in the church were calling for her motherly spiritual attention and the home front was also crying for greater attention. Gradually therefore, she found herself putting aside the wig and the gown and carrying the bible as expected of her.

“Leaving my husband to handle the affairs of the church for up to ten years was not ‘wickedness’ as some would want to term it. God has His own plans and He puts them in place at His own time. I am not crazy for titles or positions in the church or anywhere else. I believe God drew me into the work at His own appointed time. It wasn’t my husband who called me, God did.”

Like every other field of human endeavour where women find themselves in positions of leadership, Mrs. Adefarasin has been faced with challenges in ministry as a leader. “Each profession has peculiarities. There has been nothing unusual that I have not been able to handle by the grace of God who has placed me where I am today”, she said.

Having made up her mind to support the husband in spiritual matters, Adefarasin started interacting with fellow women in the church and she discovered that a lot of them were hurting inside. “So many things have gone wrong at home with their children, husbands and so on that they cannot afford to speak to anyone else but to someone they see as their leader.”

And today, Adefarasin is grateful to God for giving her the opportunity be a source of hope and joy to many women. “I really thank God for His grace and wisdom that have allowed me to be of use to such women. It’s been wonderful. I have no regrets coming into full time ministry. Really, I enjoyed the legal profession but then the years in the ministry have been more thrilling”.

She sees the role of women in the church as the secret power of God for the end time. “The fact that more women are being called into the ministry testifies to this. Women in ministry tend to be more faithful and reliable; they are ready tools in the hand of God. However, I am not saying that men have failed God or that they are not faithful; far from it”, she was quick to note.

As soon as Adefarasin got into the ministry fully, she started organising the women ministry in 2002 when the church started “Morning Glory”, an early morning prayer session that holds between 7 and 8am every Tuesday. “This morning prayer meeting really helped to bind us together the more”.

It was also the womb from which OASIS Ministry came forth as the Tuesday women meeting grew and saw the women coming together as a body under the OASIS Ministry. “Geographically, OASIS is known as a collection of body of water in a desert. We see ourselves as coming together to discuss issues, rest and share time of refreshment from the Lord away from the heat of life. It is a forum for women and mature ladies where we teach ourselves, counsel ourselves, organise seminars and workshops to discuss feminine related matters that are important to us and our homes”, she explained.

Testimonies of changes in the home have been so encouraging that she had to settle for quarterly special programmes of different dimensions to bring forth the beauty of the woman as lover, wife, mother and even mother figure to her husband.
 “Whatever the bible has said does not in any way stop human emotional feelings. Thus, we meet to sort out such issues too. The meetings have been a great eye-opener and a guide to all who are in pursuit of successful marital life. We also encourage women to have friends in the church and not in the market place. This will help them to stay emotionally stable and spiritually able in their homes and in life.”

Speaking further, Adefarasin said success in marriage is a function of the woman of the house. “The bible made it clear that a wise woman builds her house. It means a woman needs wisdom to be successful in her role as a wife and mother not degrees, official position or beauty. There is no way a lady will truly submit to her husband that her husband will not love her. Pride of any sort leads to divorce; it is the bitter truth.

“A woman needs to know all about her husband’s taste and mannerisms and then tailor her behaviours to please him. Even where there are differences, to settle them will not pose a big challenge on this platform of understanding. She must learn to submit to her husband for there can never be two husbands in the home”, the Lady Pastor noted further.

Adefarasin’s role in the ministry does not just stop at dealing with the women alone, she has gone further by establishing the Vintage Shop to cater for the material needs of church members, both male and female, at very low prices.

Items displayed for sale in the shop include household and kitchen utensils, clothing for children and adults, shoes of all seize as well as English wears. Some of the materials are fairly used but are quality materials. Some are also brand new local clothing materials sewn to taste.

She noted that within the first year of operation of the shop, the church has been able to donate N2 million to the church’s outreach programme known as “Changing Our World Foundation” at Obalende. The foundation is also involved in several development projects including the provision of education, healthcare, food and sanitation facilities at Obalende.

The hitherto reluctant wife has since made a full transition; she has dropped her wig and taken up the role designed for her by God. The reluctant pastor’s wife is now a full time worker in the Lord’s vineyard.

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