I once read a statement by a wise man who said ‘When you don’t know what to do then you must have the wisdom to recognize who not to share your burden with’. Unfortunately a lot of married women have either never come across this or they have chosen to ignore it. So far we have dealt with 10 of the common mistakes married women make and the 11th is:
11. Seeking counsel from the wrong person: I got a mail from the UK from one of the ardent readers of my column and it read:
‘My late mum was ever so trusting of so called religious men, that she literarily worshipped them! It was disgusting to watch. She would take me to this ‘man of god’ note I used a small g, because he was a man who studied in india and learnt some magic along the way, with which he used to deceive people. My mum will leave me with him for ‘deliverance’ which usually ended up in sexual marathons, even during my monthly periods! By the time I was 16, I was very active sexually and would leave my boarding school in portharcourt to meet with men, old enough to be my father! In exchange, I got money, return tickets, lots of provisions etc! Strangely, no one really asked where I got stuff from! I lived off boarding school in my final year, partly with my hausa teacher and a friend and till date, no member of my family knows!
I now live in the uk, with my family, I was single, another mums pastor, crashed my relationship with ‘visions’, he gave out negative and conflicting prophecies to my mum, my then boyfriend and I, until the relationship crashed! Only to turn around and tell me how in love with me he was, mind you, Mr. Pastor was married!
I am glad he’s in jail now with his deputy pastor, for running a drug cartel for over 5years!
A lot of married women have messed up their homes because of their quest for solutions to family problems. As a matter of fact many women who had no business losing their homes are now single because of bad counsel. I remembered having a client who was about jumping into her 3rd married having left her first and second marriage on the grounds of the men not measuring up to standards. I sat with her for several hours and gave her reasons why she needed to make things work but I noticed she wasn’t willing to listen(apparently she had a friend who was in her 3rd marriage as well advising her).
Eventually she got a divorce and got married to another man whom she had told me treated her like a queen and was a godly man but 4months into that new marriage she called to ask for help because in her own words ‘This 3rd man is the worst of all the men I have ever met. He snores and beats me at the slightest provocation’. Most of the times we are too quick to point an accusing finger at someone else for our misfortune when in actual fact we are the biggest problem of ourselves.
The grass always look greener on the other side but by the time you get to that other side you realize where you are coming from looks greener as well. I have seen so many women receive wrong counsel from people without any form of competence who eventually lead you into error. If you are married as a woman and all your friends are either single or divorced it’s only a matter of time before you lose your marriage because they would all share their tale of woes about men such that no man would be able to satisfy you no matter how good he is.
A wise woman the ancient Jewish proverb says builds her own home but the foolish destroys hers. Who do you consult when you have issues? I see too many married women going from one prophet to ‘Dibia’ seeking spiritual solutions to their knowledge problems and many have had their marriages messed up by all manner of visions from people who have not even seen a vision for themselves.
NB: You can order for your basic sexuality education kit as well as my latest book ‘Strictly for wives…..time tested secrets of keeping your man from the other woman. Call Claudia – 08066707873. You can also subscribe for our 40day sexual recovery Mastery session